Should I get them anything?

One of the bridesmaids from my wedding is getting married in 3 weeks. I'm not even a part of her wedding party and she didn't get me anything for my wedding (and we paid for her dress, shoes etc).

Should I give her anything? I'm a little p***ed as it is as she decided not to include me in any way, shape or form, so I don't feel they really deserve anything.

Thoughts?

I personally wouldn't bother. You went to the effort of getting her dress and shoes darl when you didn't have too.....We didn't pay for any of a bridal parties attire for the night but we did buy them all little gifts.

I don't blame you for being p***ed off either, I would be as well!! She could have included you in the littlest of things like helping with the hen's night or something but she didn't.

We just went to the wedding of one of our groomsmen. It was kinda the same. He did pay for his suit, but didn't get us anything, but what got me was that he & DH have grown up together & been mates since they were 6 & 8. But all his groomsmen were people he has only known for the last few years. Even when he had a fight with his best man & had to find a replacement DH was still not considered.
We have travelled to their place for his 21st their engagement party & their wedding & they haven't made it to anything we've had even though they have no kids & we live around the corner from his Mum. Except our wedding of course. But I still got them something. I thought it'd be silly to not do it even if they didn't. You could always just give them a card if you would prefer.

Are you invited to the wedding Ashlee? if you are going to the wedding I would at least buy something but if not then I wouldn't bother.

Yep we're going to the wedding, I am definitely getting a card I'm just not sure whether money (as they have a wishing well) is something they deserve?!

Its a tricky one, you could always look at it as a meal out so put in a bit of money to cover that maybe?

hmmm tricky! After hearing you are paying a LOT of money for the hens night...i would say no present.

But in saying that, I dont know if I could turn up with nothing iykwim? I know they did it...but still.

Ummm...I'll think about it and get back to you. But i think i would go with something small. VERY small ;)

I would still take a present - it shows that at least you know the right thing to do and rise above it. It might mean that she is a bit more thoughtful next time a similar situation arises,

I would definitely give a present, but if you feel that they do not deserve the money that they are asking for what about something towards the actual wedding, give it to her on the hens night - like a cake knife.
I was matron of honour for a friend of mine who refused to be in my bridal party and didn't attend the wedding (presumably because she was interstate)and I paid the deposit for their wedding cake and did a lot of running around for them so I didn't give them any money in the card that I gave.

something small that you don't like - maybe something from the cupboard at home that you don't use - i don't think this friend is very deserving but you may feel silly turning up with nothing,plus you kind of want her to realise that you're giving her a crappy present for a reason -ykwim

It looks as though I'm the odd one out, I would definitely give them a present. I like to give presents for the occassion, not as a reciprocal for a good/bad present that I have received. For me personally it's not relevant what I got to what I'll buy for someone else.