completely overwhelmed. need somebody to listen- please!

sorry if this ends up being really long. i have a lot to get off my chest.

i know this probably isn't the right place to post this, but i'm hoping somebody will be willing to offer some advice. everyone's always seemed so friendly and supportive on here, and although i'm not in the same boat as most of you (TTC i mean) hopefully there's still some kind of support here!

at the moment i really don't know what to do. 5 days ago DP and i BD'd and since we're not ready for a baby yet, we used protection- but it broke.

sorry for TMI here, but next morning when i went to the bathroom, there was HEAPS of greeny yellowy CM. ive had this colour CM around O time before but NEVER that much. that was the 12th day of my cycle, and i usually have a 26-28 day cycle. i took an ECP (Postinor 2) that afternoon and then the second pill 12 hours later just like it says to, and felt pretty secure about it.

now i'm beginning to feel doubtful. i was told i'd suffer from some nausea, etc with it, but it didn't effect me at all. i've read up about how Postinor works and i don't understand how it could be effective if i had already started to O, which i believe i had due to the CM and it coinciding with the day of my cycle. also lately i've found myself waking up during the night usually 2 or sometimes even 3 times needing to go to the bathroom, even if i haven't had anything to drink, whereas i usually never wake up during the night needing to go to the bathroom. i've heard frequent urination can be an early symptom of pregnancy. i would think that it would be too soon to start getting symptoms but i know that my mum had strong pregnancy symptoms even before AF was late.

i wish i could be happy if i did turn out to be PG, and i'm sure part of me would be- but i also know that it's not the right time. i was planning to go back to study at university next year, and i'm just starting this whole fitness health kick at the moment to lose a bit of weight and build up my fitness so that when the time comes that i do want to have a baby, i can have a nice healthy pregnancy.

now i just feel really anxious and confused because there is no way in hell i could ever terminate a pregnancy, but i don't know how i could make it work either. i guess i just needed to tell somebody because DP is so stressed with work atm that i don't want to make him feel worse so i just needed to get it off my chest. hope that's okay.

what do you think? am i being paranoid? i just feel really down right now. i'm trying to decide if i'm happy at work, i'm always tired so i want to change my lifestyle but have trouble doing so, we're moving to a new house in a week so everything's so busy. now this has happened too and i just feel like everything is getting to be too much.

anyway sorry to be such a downer. i hope somebody can offer a bit of friendly support. thanks in advance to anyone who replies.

:hug:

Do you think that the CM you saw could be DP leftovers?

When I took the morning after pill, the way it was explained to me was that it makes the lining of the uterus change also so that it is less receptive to the fertilised embryo so that it can also prevent PG after O has occurred.

I can also remember I had a lot of bloating and a tender tummy till I got AF which was quite heavy and nasty. This could be the reason you are feeling like you may have PG symptoms IYKWIM.

It is a highly emotive time so please try and relax a bit and not stress just now. When I had to use it we were using condoms due to me having had gastro the week before and it got lost at the crucial moment ;) Please talk to your partner about your feelings as you need his support.

hi girls :) feeling a bit better now!
don't think the CM was DP leftovers cos it's been like that in the past during O time just not usually so much!
that's put my mind at ease a bit about the way the morning after pill works cos the chemist who sold it to me wasn't very informative.
AF is due 4th october if my counting's right- i think i just need to wait till then and see what happens. too many things are happening at once to stop everything and worry about this!

Caro- i love what you said about if it had got through all that prevention then it must really want to happen- that's made me feel quite differently about it happening now. i do believe everything happens for a reason so i suppose if it did happen now, it's because that's what is supposed to happen for us.
i love children and i really want to have children, i just thought that if i had one now it wouldn't get everything i could offer it if i'd had more time to prepare- you know? anyway- i would still offer it all the love, support and nurturing in the world and i suppose that counts for something!

my stomach's been really off today but i think it's just the stress of everything. i just had a lovely ham cheese and tomato baguette which has settled it down! :) i honestly didn't think of the fact that postinor could be affecting me- because i hadn't gotten the nausea which was the only symptom the chemist gave me, i figured it wasn't affecting me at all. but i guess it's all hormones, and when you play around with hormones you can never be too sure of what's going to happen!

thanks so much for your replies. do you think i'm going about it all the right way?

Back when I used it I had to see the Dr and I guess I was lucky to get one who was very good at explaining things.

One drawback of being able to get it from the chemist directly these days is that little bit of personal care that the Dr gives that you don't get from a chemist. They probably don't have the time to talk about all the possible side effects between customers.

It's a pretty powerful dose of hormone that you've taken, which could by why you're also emotional. Though it is an emotionally charged time as it is.
Glad you're feeling better.

LOL Caro *snap*