how do you connect

What thing/s do yo do with your child/dren that you both feel connected to each other?

Not in relation to my 3 littlies, but I spend a lot of time with my nephew who is nearly 9. He is a big part of our family as his dad (my brother) passed away fairly recently.

It was a surprise to me at how adult he is, whilst at the same time so childlike. This combination is confusing.

We talk a lot in the car. He sits in the front next to me and I suspect he finds it easier to talk about "hard stuff" when their is no eye contact and little chance of too much crushing affection.

We also talk about mad stuff when we are cooking together. (Same deal I suppose......not much forced eye contact) and it is when we are both relaxed.

I also read him bedtime stories. (We both know he is too old for it, but it is a good excuse for a cuddle for us both.)

And he is mad about photos (posing for them) so often I take a stack, then we sit at the computer together and go through loads and loads of snaps. This often leads to a lot of family related conversations.

I hope I am connecting with him. I know his favourite times with us are when we are just doing "normal" stuff like gardening or cooking. I know if I make an all out effort to spoil him and do 9 year old treat things he gets overwhelmed and withdraws a bit.

Not sure if that helps any?

aw that is so nice of you to take that time ut for another little person


I just wanted to know what special things mummies do with there own children that makes them feel connected to each other.

For me with my older two, I sit and talk about "Thier" stuff, thier friends, lovers, everything tenage wise and even act the goat to get a laugh out of them. I feel we are connecting if we can just relax and enjoy each other with some laughs.

With my middle ones we do girly things, and I let them put on fashion shows for me whilst dancing to music, oh its a grand parade for me! lol

To connect with my two babies, I just got to look deep into thier eyes and smile at them, soul to soul connection instantly.

I love taking my son swimming. Because we are both in the water, and he trusts me to dip him under and hold him... It makes me feel really close to him.

As an extension of that... I will occassionally jump in our bath with him too. We've got a huge corner spa bath, so there's plenty of room. Normally 'bath time' is time he spends with his dad... who always bathes him.

The other time is when he wakes up during the night, and I go into him and either give him a cuddle, or sit beside his cot on the floor and hold his hand till he goes back to sleep.


** edit... after writing all of this - I then noticed the thread is communicating with "older" children... so this might not relate as my son is only 16 months old. I didn't realise what section it was in when I typed it all up.

jodie you type away hon, I loved reading how you connect with your beautiful babe. Should just be how to connect with your "Children" not just older kids. Every mother likes to connect with there child. What a wonderful way to connect with him though, I mean he grew into who he is in water and your just nurturing that state even more. He will be the most laid back little fellow anyone can know you wait and see!!

Shopping!!! LOL No actually we really do like shopping together especially just the girls and I. Jess likes chatting to me while I am cooking or sometimes when I am having a shower. One of the nicest things I do with Erin is we lie in her bed and take it in turns to read a page each of her current book. She also likes sleeping with me if DH is away (Jess used to like that too when she was little) I really love cooking with the kids too.

I have started to really connect with my girls in the garden. We are building a "Fairy Garden" together, and they have been involved in the planning (they drew their own plans of what they wanted in there) and we took their ideas and made them work with the space we had. They have also been involved in chosing plants, and planting them. I have been learning with them about gardening and what plants like shade, sun etc. It has been a lot of fun and a place where we can just relax and laugh and play, and achieve something together.

I love the ideas here! I have a 7yo dss and finding it a challenge to connect with him. He has had a rough time so far in his life, and I want to help him feel that he has my support. But I find his behaviour very difficult to deal with at times (usually after a visit with his other parent) and I think this is having a detrimental effect on our bonding. The problem is that he acts as though nothing that I do is interesting, so anything I've tried (reading books together, art and craft activities) has been a flop so far. I think he might be more interesting in the gardening, I will try that next :)

With my 10yr old DSD,
we make popcorn and cuddle up watching a movie or tv,
have lots of chats,
go to the park,
Do scrapbooking together,
Do craft,
play cards
Shopping.

With my 4yr old DSD,
Go on computer together,
spend time outside,
have an afternoon nap together,
go to the park,
shopping,
read her a bedtime story and talk about whatever she wants to talk about before bed,
She helps me with cooking, she loves it (she grated cheese the other day for the first time, anyone would have thought she had lotto.)

Going to do christmas stuff soon. :D