Why am I not sadder?

I thought after having a miscarriage I would be sadder than I am.
This is my first miscarriage, I have never experienced something like this, losing a baby this early... I guess I am surprised by my total lack of emotion in regards to this loss.
To be honest, I am more annoyed at the blood loss, the complete inconvenience of it all.
Does this make me a terrible person?
I am wondering why I am ok? Perhaps it is because I really didn't have much time to get my head around the fact that I was pregnant.
Perhaps it was because I started bleeding the day after my pregnancy was confirmed by the Dr.
Perhaps it is because I was worried about having 2 babies close together in age; even though it is something DH and I have wanted, the reality of it was a different thing.
Arghhhhhhhh!!! I feel like I am a heartless b!tch :(

i dont think that u are heart less same sort of thing happened to me just after i found out i was i misscarried the next day ......
ur may not show emotion yet as u mite not no how to take it in ways but i dont know i am not u i am sorry to also here about u loss..


me -17 partner- 18
:angel2::angel2:tyson and kate march 15th 2006
:angel2:and Hydie sep 18th 2007

:hugs: Oh Lisa, I have kept up with your pg and the problems you have had. You have had a tough time with things lately, don't be so hard on yourself. You are NOT a horrible person, nor a heartless b!tch.

Maybe it is because you have been half expecting it, that you are not as upset as you expect you should be? You have had problems from the begining since finding out you were pg and maybe you have dealt with your feelings along the way. It wasn't a surprise for you. Usually when someone m/c its a complete surprise and therefore it is unexpected and very sad. Also as you say you were not very far along and maybe didn't have alot of time to get really into the pg.

Don't beat yourself up there is no way you should feel. Everyone deals with things differently, and how you are feeling is a completely normal way for you to feel.
Be kind to yourself you have been through alot. :)

Aaaw nah, you're not heartless.

You might have 'felt it' at some sort of level. I know I did when I m/c'd. The ****y thing about it all for me was that my stupid body hung on for so long after it happened. Time enough for me to reconcile with the unexpectedness of it and get happy, only to find out it was all for nothing.

I suppose you didn't have enough of a chance to really get your head around it in time, it may have saved you from a shock (sounding a bit clinical - sorry). It's still early days - you might feel it a bit more later - or not.

Feel whatever you feel, it's your story and no one else's.

i was coming on here to say exactly what kellieem wrote :) i've been following you story, and i think that you've been through so much. And yes, you've more than likely been expecting this. So please dont be so hard on yourself! big hugs xx

Hun, you're not heartless.

It took me quite a while to process my loss, the first few weeks after my D&C it's like I was on autopilot, just carried on as usual. It wasn't until later that I fell part - not that I'm wishing that on you!

The girls are right, there's no set way you are 'supposed' to feel.

:hug:

Thanks for your replies.
I just feel so crappy that I am not very upset about losing the baby.
I guess there is that part of me that still "thinks" that there wasn't actually a baby there at all... because every ultrasound I had failed to find a gestational sac.

I guess its correct to say that I was expecting it to happen... but I did still hold out some hope that there would be a baby there after all that happened.
Oh well.

Last night, my little sister called me to tell me that she got 4 BFP's! I am so excited for her!!! She has wanted a baby for so long.
She strange thing is... when I lost Noah, my other sister was 6 weeks behind me with her pregnancy... and now, my little sister is 6 weeks behind where I would have been with this pregnancy.
I have a daily reminder in my nephew of how old Noah would be now, and the milestones he would be achieving... I hope it isn't as difficult to handle when my little sisters baby is here. I just hope and pray so hard that my sister has such a beautiful, happy and healthy pregnancy... I can't wait to be an Aunt again :)

Feelings don't work that way. You know it's futile to force yourself to have a particular emotion or to feel it more strongly. As long as you're not blocking out certain emotions on purpose and are just letting them ebb and flow naturally, you should be fine. And you always have here to vent if you need to!

In my own experience, I tend to be very businesslike and clinical while I'm at the doctor's office or the hospital recieving care. In fact, when they start to tiptoe around me, I could just scream! But when I get home to my own surroundings that's when I really start to feel my loss. Then I grieve like I'm "supposed" to.