Optimistic FS - dont want to get too excited yet though....

I had my first FS appt today and it wasn't as bad as i expected. I felt a bit nervous/anxious before it because my last Gynae had expressed all the down sides of ivf like stress on relationship, possible repeat cycle failure's, even divorce! etc so I was worried that FS might be just as depressing.

But, not at all. I found Dr Mazz (Concept) to be very nice and he explained as much as he needed to at my first appt. I thought he sounded quite optimistic so his confidence has me feeling good about it. When you hear negative things like I had before, it doesn't help with making the decision.

I just wanted to ask, has anyone had the fs be quite confident in the beginning only to experience disappointment? (maybe i shouldn't ask!) I would luv to be pregs 1st or 2nd cycle, possibly 3rd... Not sure I could handle (or afford) much more than that.

Jules, our FS was really quite positive and made us feel 1000 times better after our first appointment which as you say is great. We've had one stim cycle with no luck and are currently in the middle of our first FET. So there is still time for her to prove herself right!

Hi Jules

Thats fantastic, great that you are feeling so much more positive about the whole experience. The good thing is whilst the gynae may have been a little dooms day you know what to look out for and what you dont want to happen. In my personal experience it has bought my husband and I so much closer and yes you are not going to always get good news with IVF but you have to stay positive and luckily in my experience the FS is always there cheering loudly for us.

Good luck!

Shan

best of luck with everything

Jules,

do you really want to know though? If you're certain you do, then read on.

I have had 3 children previously - naturally - but had my tubes tied at 26. I got the ligation reversed at 31 when my XH and I split up. In early 2004 me and my DH discovered that the op wasn't successful and I had tubes that were completely blocked.

My DH underwent his tests and was deemed okay. At this point everyone we met including our FS felt we had the best possible prognosis - ie we were otherwise fertile barring tube problems, which IVF bypasses anyway. Everyone expected I'd be pg in no time.

But it ended up taking up 8 long, draining cycles to fall pg. No one could tell us why it wasn't working, but it just wasn't for a long long time.

Please know that I'm not trying to be negative nancy and in truth, most couples will be pg by their 4th cycle, but I would suggest you go into IVF with realistic expectations. If you believe it will take a number of cycles to fall pg and it happens sooner than that, you'll be laughing. But if it does take a while, you're prepared, IYKWIM. Just for your own emotional wellbeing, prepare for the long haul.

Hi Jules, our FS was very upbeat about our chances, probablly too much. I totally believed him. We are about to embark on our first IVF attempt after 2 failed IUI's plus 2 cycles of our own with the help of hormones and I feel a bit of a failure. I thought he had found the problem and all was going to be OK, now I feel like we are about to throw a lot of money away and may not have a successful outcome but I have to try!!!!

Thank you everyone for your comments. I have decided to go ahead and make my clinic appt to get the ball rolling. I cant ask for a magic number for how many goes it will take but i think the main thing is I felt a lot better after seeing the fs and feel that I am ready for the challenge. I will remember to stay positive as much as possible.

Oh and I LOVE LOVE this site, it is SO good to be able to read thru peoples experiences, ask questions, share opinions. It has played just as big a part in my decision making. We haven't discussed any of this with family, even though i am extremely close to my mum and sister, i feel like it would be added pressure if i told them we were going to do ivf. Im not sure how i will keep it hidden from them but will see how we go!

Thanks again! :)