Psychologist/counsellor in Melb needed for dealing with repeat c/s issues - help?

hi all

i had an emergency c/s for my first child 17 months ago. i found it to be highly traumatic (feelings of failure, etc), and am still dealing with those issues now. the only thing that has 'helped' me get through these feelings was the positive attitude and belief that i would attempt a VBAC for my second child. so when i fell pregnant this time, i sought out an OB that has an excellent reputation for VBACs and pro-VBs, and has an extremely low c/s rate (something like 3%).

however, at the 20 week scan for this baby (3 weeks ago now) we found out that the baby has a congenital heart defect - something that will require open heart surgery within the first few weeks of life. we decided to continue the pregnancy and i was 'feeling back to normal' again and have sorted through a huge pile of emotions to do with my baby.

but today, i was told by my OB that i will have to have an elective c/s for this baby for convenience reasons... the cardio specialists that will need to check my baby once born only work 9-5 monday to fridays, so i would need to have the baby at a convenient time for them.

i am so devastated.... i now have to come to the realisation that i will never have a natural birth. i want to do what's best for my baby, but i just dont know how to deal with the psychological side of another c/s.

i was wondering if anyone knew of a good counsellor or psychologist in the Melbourne (inner suburbs) area that may have helped them or a friend through something similar? i guess i am after someone experienced with this sort of thing.... or a recommendation....

i just dont think i am able to sort through my feelings constructively, and i dont want this to eat at me for the rest of my life.. i thought a professional could help....

Leanne, if you google "Australian Psych Society" and go to the first link, on the right hand side are a bunch of links & there is a blue box that says "find a psychologist". On that page there is a menu for you to selct what you need help with. Now there is nothing specifically related to birth, but there is post traumatic stress, health related problems, trauma, grief & life transitions/adjustment. I think the last two would be the most beneficial? Then you add in your location & suitable psychologists in your area will be listed. I'd go through them & give them a call to see who would best be suited to your needs.

Good luck hun.

Leanne, my teacher, Rhea Dempsey is a counsellor and does fantastic birth de-briefing, and best of all, have been working in birth for over 26 years. You can find her website at: birthing wisdom or google her name. She is great, and the best person I could suggest for birth de-briefing. Good luck hon.

Leanne, the other thing you can do is get in contact with the hospital where you will be having your bubs and see if they offer a counselling service. Mine did and the majority of costs were bulk billed. I think I was out of pocket $20 for each session.

Sweetheart! I can't believe that you have to now look for counselling (which will be ongoing, as opposed to a once-off) because a specialist can't be bothered doing after hours work! Couldn't the money you use on counselling go towards the person's overtime? Sorry, this is probably unhelpful if you are not willing to push a little more for some personalised care during such a vulnerable time for you and bub - just something to consider, to save yourself what might be unnecessary trauma for you both :hug: I can't believe how specialist-centred birth has become! Best wishes for the counselling - a good counsellor is worth keeping on your Christmas card list :)