Big fat vent

So i think i have to accept that i'm not going to get the birth i want in the private hosptial system with a private Ob without a fight and strong advocating - all of which seems fairly detrimental to the last few weeks of pregnancy leading up to a hopefully relaxing natural birth:(

Today i looked into home birthing options. I spoke to a wonderful home birthing midwife from the SA network and everything i was saying i wished for in a birth she thought was completely NORMAL!! It was amazing! She made me feel so empowered and i just loved talking to her. Until she told me the costs involved. $2800:(. There is no way we can come up with that kind of money. She has offered to be flexible with payments etc but it's just not realistic. None of it is covered by medicare or our PHI, and the refund we'd get back from the Ob wouldn't come anywhere close (we've paid $1500 in Ob fees). We've already spent the baby bonus (as in we owe the ob fees, need new washing machine - 2 kids in cloth nappies, visa card debt, amongst other nesesities). If i had've thought about this months ago we probably could've worked something out, but this baby is due in 4 weeks. I'm so angry with myself for not following my instincts earlier. I've always loved the idea of home birth, but guess i just got swept up in the private system. I'm so stupid :wall:

I am so angry that to birth my baby the way my body is designed to - the way nature intended - is going to cost that much:angry:

I wish i could just drive a million miles into nowhere and squat behind a tree and have my baby! That's just how i feel right now;)

Sorry for the vent.

Oh you poor darlin! Fight for what you want then..........

You are not stupid at all, its hard to know what is going to happen so early on.

I hope you get to birth the way you want to, but like i said if you want something in particular that is safe for your bubs then fight for it.

Good luck and vent away as much as you want

Oh Linds hun...big hugs to you :hugs:

I really believe that when you need it...you get the right midwife on the day...someone who is able to 'bend' the rules

I have been a m/w in the private sector for many women who have had amazing experiences...even with a conservative OB...

keep focused about what you want...visualise your birth...surround yourself with people who love and support you

xx yogababy

I really really hope you get the birth you want.

Can you get someone (who has a background or strong understanding of what you want) to help you advocate with the ob/hospital? That way if you are feeling fragile or overwhelmed someone else will be there to back you up and wont let you get trodden on.

Is changing obs an option?? I know you have said you already owe your current ob money but if you change to another one you may get most of your costs back due to the medicare threshold.

Best of luck and let us know how you go.
Take care
Jem

Have you thought about having a Doula?

Thanks everyone.

The thing is, i had a good experience last time in the same hospital, with the same Ob and probably the same m/w (she is a personal friend and has offered to come in even if she isn't working). Last time all i requested was that i be given the opportunity to go without pain relief, and i had that. I had a quick labour, and a beautiful outcome of course:)

This time i know more about what i want (no medical induction before 42 wks, baby skin to skin straight from womb, baby allowed to self-attach to breast, and the biggie - a physiological third stage). I trust my m/w enough that if she belived we needed intervention i would agree, but i wanted the opportunity to do it the way my body is designed to. Apparently that's just not how it's done in a private hospital. I am low risk for pretty much everything.

The midwife i spoke to today (from homebirthing network) made an interesting point that most professionals in the private sector have never actually experienced a normal third stage of labour, and therefore have a higher potential to think there is too much bleeding and start things like pulling on the cord, making the situation worse. In that sense i guess i could be putting myself at risk if i DO advocate strongly for a normal third stage with inexperienced (in natural birth) professionals, yk?

And realistically, i am getting way to stressed about all of this (there goes the last piece of that family sized block of chocolate), and i don't want to be stressed at this stage. i don't believe that my baby will be at any grave danger for having a managed third stage, but i do think we (baby and i) will miss out on the opportunity to have a truely beautiful birth. I love the idea of being comfortable at home, having DS involved as much as he wants, going to bed in my own bed after the birth.... ohh i've got to stop this!

I'll buy a lotto ticket this weekend as a last chance!

Hey there - Have you though about using a birth center? Not quite a homebirth but a lot less intervention than with a private hospital.
I understand where you are coming from. I'm also private and decided this due to a very compliacted 1st birth experience (prem birth at 28.6 weeks, placenta previa and placental abruption). I am just not comfortable with a homebirth, but would have loved a birth centre ad a compromise (they wouldn't accept me due to the issues of my last birth).
My last birth was totally medical- and life saving- however I'm hoping this time for as un-interventionalist as I can get so have chosen an OB who is supposed to be good with VBACs and a Doula. I do, however, dread being pushed into things...that's why I have my Doula for extra backup, support and advice.
Goodluck hun. And don't feel stupid. We all do what we feel is best at the time we are making the decision. If you are going private, probably the best way to get what you want it to have a Doula too?

LG i just pm'ed you

I found this stuff about a week ago looking for homebirth midwives for myself... I noticed you are in Adelaide and I remembered it... I don't know if any of it is relevant to you, but I hope it is...

From the "Homebirth Network SA" website...

"What about paying for a homebirth? Can I use my Private Health Insurance?

Homebirth is free if you see a midwife from a Community Midwifery Program or a hospital-based homebirth service. Women who contract an independent or private midwife usually pay the fees themselves and feel that it is well worth the personal and continuous attention that they get throughout their whole pregnancy, labour, birth and postnatal period. Anecdotally, these fees are often similar to the out-of-pocket expenses that you would pay for a private obstetrician. However, fees vary widely depending on which area of Australia you live in, so it is best to contact individual midwives to ask them. Otherwise, there are about nine private insurers in Australia who reimburse for homebirth or private midwifery. Women are advised to check their individual situations with the individual insurer and what level of cover they require for which services, and to also check what smaller amounts they may be eligible for rebate on (eg prenatal education/care and postnatal care). If you require further information on this, contact the Maternity Coalition’s South Australian Branch at maternitycoalitionsa@yahoo.com.au



Midwifery Group Practice, Women's and Children's Hospital (public)
72 King William Rd, NORTH ADELAIDE SA
Phone: (08) 8161 7819 Email: cywhs.muhmgp@cywhs.sa.gov.au
Midwife-led continuity of carer model, offering known midwife plus back-up midwife through pregnancy, birth and first six weeks postnatal. Midwife consults with obstetric and other staff as needed. Takes women of all risk categories, but limited to about 1,000 women per year, some geographical limits apply. Care provided in community, home and hospital. Book in via first appointment with Women's Outpatients Clinic on (08) 8161 7592. Waterbirth and VBAC supported . No charges to public patients. No private patients or GP-share care: care is midwife-led.

Northern Women's Community Midwifery Program (public)
28 Philip Highway, ELIZABETH SA
Phone: (08) 8252 3711
Offers known midwife plus back-up through pregnancy, birth and first 4-6 weeks postnatal. Located within Northern Women's Community Health Centre with close working relationships with psychologist, domestic violence health worker, interpreters, etc. Midwife works in collaboration with obstetric team at hospital. Program takes women of all risk categories. Limited to 140 women per year, and only for residents of council areas of Salisbury, Playford and Tea Tree Gully. Antenatal, postnatal and birth care in community and home, and at assessment unit at Lyell McEwin Hospital. Waterbirth, homebirth and VBAC supported; No charges to public patients; No private patients or GP-share care: care is midwife-led.

Birthing Unit, Lyell McEwin Health Service (public)
Haydown Road, ELIZABETH VALE SA
Phone: (08) 8182 9000
Midwifery-led continuity of carer program in pregnancy and at birth in low risk room. Deep baths available. Home midwifery service and free "Mothercarer" service for up to 6 days postnatal. One-on-one midwifery care (continuity of carer) and homebirth possible for women receiving care through the Northern Women's Community Midwifery Program (NWCMP), who may also birth at this Birth Centre with their NWCMP midwife; No charges to public patients."

Linds, hun, I know how hard you fought to get this pregnancy... I am sorry you are feeling like you wont get the birth you want.
I dont have any advice for you except to say fight for what you want. You are paying the OB so they should do what you want.
And maybe tegans idea of a Doula who can be beside you at the birth and help you fight for what you want might be good.
Hope that somehow you get what you need from this birth. :hug:
xo
p.s. there is a great thread from Kelly re birth choices which you have porbably read, but Ill find it and post you a link. I don't understand... - BellyBelly Forums ~ Pregnancy, Birth & Baby

:hello: Ruf - great to see you in here! Congratulations!

Thanks all for your suggestions and advice. After talking to the home birthing midwife, i feel like the professionals working in the private systems don't actually have much experience with normal births, and therefore it might acutally be safer to let them do things their way.

leasha, thanks for all that info. I have tried to contact W&CH regarding their midwifery program, but it sounds like they are pretty booked up as the answering service recommends making bookings as early as possible (um don't think they mean 36 weeks LOL). And i also found this on their website "MGP is not yet equipped to provide full midwifery care for planned home births though the choice of a planned home birth is supported as a safe option for healthy mothers.". I will ring again later though just to make sure i don't miss an opportunity somewhere.

Thanks for the pm ellibugs!

If i'm going to go through the private system i would prefer to stick with my Ob as she has been really very good overall and a lot more supportive than some of the stories i've heard. And her c-section rate is very very low.

I wish i could just rewind a few months and plan a home birth with a private midwife though:(

What a shame, LG. Can you not get a refund from your Ob? Homebirthing and birth in a private hospital are two very different experiences. The WCH MGP don't do planned homebirths though. Was the private midwife's fee adjusted to take into consideration the late stage of your pregnancy?

Hi samantha, i'm sure we would get some refund from the Ob but it would be no where near enough (we've paid $1500 in ob fees for the whole pregnancy and birth - private midwife costs $2800). The HB midwife said that was the fee, regardless of stage of pregnancy. She sounded so lovely - if i had the $ I'd hire her straight away!

Hi again LG

I just wanted to pop in again to see how things were going. Your idea to call the MGP just in case there is a chance of getting in there is a great idea.

Have you looked into the option of having a doula present yet? A doula would be able to advocate for you when you might be in a fragile state or getting trodden on???

Good luck with the lotto - it is a $20 million one this weekend!!

Wishing you all the best
Jem

I was 35 weeks when I decided to have a homebirth - it cost us $4000 and was worth every cent. The money was ear marked for our trip to the UK in Jan and it was a tough decision deciding to use it. But it really was worth every single cent - I got the birth I wanted, no questions asked, no funny looks or derogatory comments. All I wanted was a 'normal' birth - cor it's unbelieveable the obstacles I come up against advocating that in the public hospital system, I can only imagine that it can be even harder in the private system :(

Whatever happens and wherever you birth - you can have the birth you want, you might just need to be more determined than you should have to be!