Do we have to buy a present?

I thought i'd get some opinions on this as I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is. We are going to a friends 30th party next weekend. It's fancy dress and everyone is going all-out. Last night we got a group email saying wine is on the house (it's in a hotel) but everything else you have to pay for. Also they are not putting on any food. DH is pretty ****ed off as we are paying nearly $200 for our costumes and it is quite typical of them to never cough up for anything (example; "come over for a BBQ - bring meat, booze and salad!").

What I want to know is should we buy her a pressie as well? As I said we are spending nearly $200 on costumes (our choice but EVERYONE is making a big effort), it's on the Coast so we'll have to get a cab home or stay. Luckily my Dad is over from the UK so we don't have to pay for a babysitter. If it was my party I wouldn't expect anyone to buy me anything as well.

What do you think?

i'd grab her a card, and that's it! there is no obligation to buy a gift for any occassion, but if you're forking out so much for the night, there's really no need to buy a gift!

my brother is having hi 30th next month - is putting on food and beer for everyone, and has specifically requested no gifts from anyone!

have a great night out, and don't feel obliged to do something that will make you unhappy!

I would just get her something little like a card and a lottery ticket or a small bunch of flowers if they are paying for wine.

I agree, a card and a scratchie would be plenty. What is the theme by the way, I love dress up parties, my DH is having a Camouflage theme for his this year!

goodness no, not if you don't want to. obligatory presents are for kids IMO but as adults we probably accumulate more than we need anyway. hope you have a great night!

Thanks guys, that makes me feel better. The theme is Animation so i'm going as Batgirl and DH is Batman! I'll get her a card then with a scratchie :)