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Im sure this thread has come up before
But what is your limit - how many cycles have you said is your max
i never hope to be embarking on my 10 cycle (and no one thought i would have too) but i am, i also know that im not ready to give up, yet im not sure i can carry on
I never had a number but knew that the decision that was made was made as a couple DH was always saying one more and although I would be happy enough. My last one number 19 that is a combination of 4 stims, lots of single transfer FET's and losses. I knew my last cycle I did it was my last...emotionally I was a mess and needed to get my life back together. I had irrational thoughts that I can now see as depression but somehow I was slipping thru the cracks of the heathcare providers as it was all about scans and results. But in saying that as long as my mind was in good place and finances could absorb it I would of done it again and again..thinking the months taken off might of been the month it would stick.
So next month is the commencement of number 20, hopefully that will be my last.
Bec
My DH and originally said we wouldn't do more than 4 cycles - what we had saved would probably only cover that - but after 4 failed cycles, we both agreed to keep going, and we extended our mortgage to cover another 3 stim cycles, with the view of paying for any FETs from our joint account. By our successful cycle, all our money was gone, so we'd made the decision that if that cycle wasn't successful, we'd do a PGD cycle next, and if that didn't work, then we'd stop.
Whether or not we would ever return to it when money became less of an issue was something that we never discussed in detail, probably because we both believed we needed to find our own closure about stopping, without leaving the door open to 'what ifs'. I do know that we both knew we were coming close to the time we would have to call it a day, not just because of the money, but for our own sanity, too.
after our chat the other night, DH and i had a pretty hefty discussion about when "enough was enough" for treatment. neither one of us could pin point a number of cycles we will do, or when we'll pull the pin, but we've been pretty open is setting ourselves breaks - 18months of treatment, then a break - then go back after 6 months. this is mainly for financial reasons - but also for my own mental health - i feel like i NEED to know that i only have to subject myself to another 6 months of this, and if it hasn't worked, well, we'll take time out to regroup as a couple, get ourselves ahead again financially (as opposed to just "getting by") - and then go again.
i know how very difficult it is to even contemplate not being successful soon, so i can only imagine what you're feeling at the moment lou - i hope you can come to a decision that you can be at peace with
BG
Can't say we've had this discussion yet. I think if/when we've completed two stims and associated FETs we'll probably assess it then. It's a very hard call that's for sure.
For those who know me, I have had a difficult time in the past with this exact topic. Dh had always said that we would keep going until we achieved a baby.
I really struggled with how do you know when enough is enough. Well I dont know how but after 6 yrs of TTC and the IVF merry go round, I know that this is it, and if this cycle is another bummer, well we have done everything we could have. I dont need the constant disappointments. I am sick and tired of trying to be positive that next cycle will work, and then maybe next cycle we will be lucky.I am sick and tired of BT's, ultrasounds and Drs visits. I dont know how or why I have gotten to this stage, but I know within my self that this is definately the last go. It is different for everyone, but I think you just know. I am happy that we travelled the IVF road, if not we would have always wondered "what if".
Ann
Lou, DH and I have had this discusson a few times in recent months. During my stim cycle a couple of months ago I felt like I had lost the plot and didn't want to do it anymore. All the drugs, the appointments, early morning trips to the clinic, and not to mention the waiting...it was taking it's toll on me. I told him that once we have no frozen embryos left I didn't want to go through another stim. I've done 3 now, and 2 FET's with 3 frosties waiting.
I completely understand where you are coming from when you say you dont want to give up, but dont know if you can continue with it. The worst part is that there is no right or wrong answer as everyone is different. A few months ago I just wanted someone to tell me to stop, tell me what to do. Of course no one would! lol
Now that I have had a bit of a break and will continue on a break until about Feb, I feel I can handle more if I need to. I don't think I can put a number on it. I just think it is important to put yourself first and take breaks when you need them. I've learnt that for me, doing back to back stims is not a good idea. ;)
Thank you ladies this thread was more me getting how i feel off my chest. After having a disapointing scan the other day i had lost hope again and was feeling very low- not a nice place to be.
Thank you for sharing how you have all been seeing your cycles- i know it is all about how you are feeling but like Megan said sometimes you need to hear someone tell you to take a break
I will go on as long as i can and reasses after this nect cycle. I guess im scared about thaw as well and not knowing how many will survive
Thank you all again
hi ladies,
Can I ask what exactly is a counted as a 'cylce' in IVF?? I often hear this. Does it mean a stimulation cycle when eggs are produced ? Or does it mean how many embryo transfers you have actually have?
I have just lost my last 2 embryos in my first Stim Cycle. I never imagained it would get to this stage. I really thought I would be pregnant again by now. This is the most depressing thought.
This is a very personal decision, and no knows it better than ourselves. People often say to me 'how do you keep going?' well, I do because I have a little some time left (although not too much) and I don't want to regret not trying if there is still time.
My heart goes out to all of you....I so know what you are all feeling and I hate it also. It is the hardest journey I have EVER taken, and I can only hope that the destination is a joyful one.
runnermum
I count a cycle as any time I'm trying for a transfer. I did 5 stimulated cycles, of which 4 went on to transfer and one was cancelled due to poor response. I also did 3 natural FETs. So for me, all up, I did 8 cycles.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down, too. It's a heart-breaking journey, this.
RM, our FS counts one complete cycle as the stim ET plus any subsequent FETs. But I have seen members here count their cycles in terms of each transfer made, regardless of whether it's fresh or frozen.
thanks for clearing that up Slyder and sushee - thats what I thought.
thanks for your thoughts sushee.
I have said all along I would try until I am 40! DH doesnt want to give up. A big part of me doesnt want to either. But after over 6 years of trying. All the naturpath appoints, and then the IVF rounds. Well it is a hard road.... ( not that I need to tell you all that.) Even though I was really heartbroken about having to take a break. I think having some time off from cycling has done me good. The rollercoaster of IVF is very emotionally draining. I am not looking forward to that again at all. But saying that we will do 3 more. And that is it.