Sleep issues already

Dearest Mr Tyler is only 20 days old but yesterday and today have been the days from hell.

He used to be great with his sleep - aren't most newborns? You know the whole sleep, feed then back to sleep thing. Well now he wont stay asleep if I put him down for 5 minutes.

I make sure he's feed, clean nappy and suitably dressed for bed, but the only way he'll sleep is either in my arms, on my chest, or in a HAB. Yesterday he woke about 8.30am. I fed him immediately and wanted to put him back to bed about 9.30am. He would not have a bar of it, and he'd fed well so I can't say his was hungry.

It wasn't until I lay down and fed him (as a last resort) at 1pm that he actually fell asleep. I'd fed him, burped him, rocked him, carried him etc and had very little success. And no long term success.

I ended up waking him about 4.45 cause I wanted to make sure he got enough to drink during the day so his night would be good. Once I woke him however he wouldn't go back to sleep until 8.45pm. More boob, rocking, patting, burping, bathing... nothing helped. In the end I gave him more boob after the failed bath and eventuallly he crash.

It's so horrible for him - I've never seen a newborn with bags under their eyes - and Tyler has them.

It's not that great for me either cause I can't do a damn thing.

Any suggestions?

hi rachel
noah was the same... he still isnt much of a day sleeper and i need to really work to get him to have naps during the day - it is just working out now in fact..(he is 11.5 weeks)
he def went thru a stage at about 3 or 4 weeks to about 6 weeks when he wanted to be held the whole time, and this is how he would sleep (in my arms). i would say to use the hug a bub as much as possible... i used a sling and this was best for me.. it was better than battling to get him to sleep in the basket and feeling like that is what i did all day and he never slept - he was most comfy with me and on my chest and the sling gave me as much freedom as poss.
i also found long walks helped as he would have a sleep in his pram.
he has always been ok at night and now days are getting better - so there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
good luck!

Hi Rachel,

My little boy is 7 weeks and he also went through a stage at 4 weeks of fighting his day sleeps. It would take me about an hour to get him to sleep, rocking him in my arms and then he might only sleep 20 mins. Very frustrating. He has now grown out of that, although some days he drops off to sleep quickly and then the next sleep can take an hour. The early evenings are still a problem as he doesn't want to sleep but needs it. Good luck and hang in there. Walks in the pram are the best as you get a break and they sleep by themselves in there

Mine have all gone through a really feral phase at about 3 weeks Rachel.
I found that as hard as it was at the time that it really only lasted a couple of days and we were through the other side.

Bubs have one really active time and one sleeping time in a 24 hour period. Unfortunately they don't always coincide with the exisiting routine of the family.

:hugs: I hope that he settles for you soon. It's so hard on you when you need to do school runs etc.

Thanks girls. I'd forgotten about the 3wk growth spurt, and as unfortunate as it is for everyone, I'm glad we're not alone.

I've managed to get him to sleep now - he has been for about an hour, in the pram cocoon, so I'm gonna let him sleep til his next feed. At least he's had sleep today which his little body needs.

MCHN comes tomorrow so I'll talk to her about it, and get him weighed to see how much the boofa's put on!

Rachel, don't worry too much, you are definitely not alone!!

Lots of us in the November 2007 baby buddies thread have had days exactly the same in the last week or so. Friday and Saturday were hell for us too! Pretty much the same as you've described.

We've finally had a reprieve today and DS has slept like a dream. I hope you get a break soon too! It really is awful but you sound like you're not too stressed which is great - I was a blubbering mess myself just yesterday morning!

We went through this too,

I wore DS a fair bit for a couple of weeks because I found he needed some forced sleep o feed properly to sleep properly etc, etc.. I had some hard days and finally said I give up you do what you want and snap he changed into a pretty good baby and started sleeping heaps more.

My little angel is in bed right now for his afternoon nap. and should wake up nicely in time for daddy to be home from work, so that I can cook tea and then watch it go cold while I feed DS and miss out again,

Ah what wouldn't a mummy do.

Hi,

I think it's a bit early to label him with "sleep issues" (LOL!) He sounds like a completely normal baby. There is a well beaten path through my clinic of mothers reporting exactly the same thing that you are reporting. Often, there baby is very sleepy in the first two weeks - the general theories include getting over the birth, drugs you may have had in labour or a bit of jaundice. Just when you are starting to thank your lucky stars that you got a "good baby" (AKA a baby who sleeps a lot - label that is completely wrong IMO) they wake up. Then you know you are alive. The first 6 weeks with a new baby is really hard going - I'm sure you remember)
Babies are designed to come packaged with an adult, usually mum. They need an adult close - and some seem to take it to an extreme. As you know, they sleep best in arms or in a sling. The great news is they change! it's important for you to look after yourself. Have you got some-one to help a bit with the older kids? Actually, maybe your 10 year old could help with a bit of rocking and comforting, do you think?
Usually you will find that there is a time of the day or night they have a longer sleep, and another time they are up and down, grumpy and irritable. All you can do is get through it! I hope tonight goes better for you

Regards
Barb

can't say much more than what barb said (her posts are always spot on and amazing)

have you considered getting a baby swing? i highly recommend the fisher price cradle swing, look on ebay. i wouldn't have survived without it. for weeks it was the only place i could get her to sleep during the day, not ideal, but you do what you do to survive.

hang in there he is so new to the world try not to expect too much, i know easier said than done.

Wardygirl - I think you're in what I call the transition stage and it can be quite frustrating because as you say the early days are quite cruisy - they feed and go to sleep. Now after a feed, they are a bit more alert. I don't know if your little one is the same but he may be in the feed - play - sleep pattern. So basically after a feed he may want to play for a bit. They can't do much at that age - I would just talk to my daughter, sing a song or walk around the house and show her stuff. Then it's really important to start watching him quite closely and learning how to spot his sleepy signs. Basically, he'll become less interested in playing, not be able to hold eye contact and eventually start yawning. The trick is to start putting him to bed when you spot the sleepy signs. As my MCHN explained to me, this stage is all about teaching babies how to sleep because they don't automatically know how to do it. And it's good to do the same thing each time - wrap and give him a cuddle and aim to comfort to the point of him being in a light sleep (but not properly asleep). After a couple of weeks of doing this my daughter would start smiling at me when she saw me getting her wrap out. I also started saying "shhhhh ... sleepy time" to her and now she goes to sleep just with those words.

So basically my advice is to study your son and play with him as much as possible so that you can easily spot his sleepy signs. I swear my four-month-old daughter gets so sick of me playing with her that she virtually takes herself to bed to get a rest from me!

I'd also say don't worry too much about how much sleep he is getting as long as he's not crying. There were quite a few nights when my daughter stayed up until after midnight. She was bright eyed and bushy tailed and was clearly not tired so I didn't stress about it, figuring that she didn't need to sleep just then. Plus there were times when I would desperately try to get her to sleep during the day but sometimes I would just admit defeat if she was obviously not sleepy. It's pretty impossible to get a baby to sleep who is blowing raspberries at you! She's now an excellent sleeper - between 9 and 12 hours every night though her days vary considerably.

Rachel I am going out on a limb here but have you tried a dummy? Now I know about the whole nipple confusion thing but a lactation consultant who helped me in hospital with Flynn actually described him as a "sucky baby" and suggested a dummy, which surprised me. We ended up using one with Flynn from about 4 weeks and I have already used it with Oliver to get him to nod off. This is cause I noticed Oliver wants to suck, but not yet feed, to sleep. He has a really strong suck reflex (noted with astonishment by all his nurses so far) and I am only ever using it to get him to sleep for those times he is really persistent with wanting to suck to sleep, which so far has been 2 or 3 times. HTH.