Surprise fear!!

Hi everyone....

I was just typing a post to my belly buddies and ended up writing this.....

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I've been going over VBAC v's C section over and over in my head whilst trying to prepare myself for a natural birth... I have to admit, because I went through 12 hours of labour with no drugs and then an hour of pushing, only to be given an epidural, a spinal tap and then a caesarean, I am terrified of having a vaginal delivery... I'm completely obsessed about how much its going to hurt pushing the baby out and tearing!! I think its because thats the only part of labour I missed out on!!

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After typing that I realised how nervous (scared) I actually am about the actual delivery part.... I have the contractions, breathing, etc under control because I have done it before but am freaking myself out about it!!!

I don't want this to stop my progress in labour, so I was wondering if anyone has had these feelings, or knows of a way to try to take the fear away!!!

Thanks

L.

hi, im trying to prepare myself for a VBAC also in about 4 weeks time if not sooner...lol. I was all for having a VBAC when it was offered to me i said yes straight away and then the doc told me the risks and stuff of it... But i still cant get my head around having to actually push the baby out, not to mention that this baby is prob bigger than my last and she was born by emergency c-section after 36 hr labour. I know exactly how ur feeling and me myself actually cant give u any advice on how to take the fear away...lol sorry, im trying to do that myself, although i just keep telling myself that im going to have pleasurable birth...lol the thing im most scared about is actually going through all the labour pains again only to end up having to have a c-section again, though if i go over due by 13 days im booked in for a c-section anyway cause i dont want to be induced cause all the risks go up..

I dunno if this will help make you feel better or not but i've read that squatting, or being on all fours or upright will greatly decrease tearing which makes sense i guess or if you use the bath for pain relief it can soften all your bits to help make them stretchier.
I was worried about all those things too but i don't seem to be now. I was able to be at my best friend and my SIL's births recently and now that i've seen it all happen for myself i'm not so worried. My best friend had no tearing, SIL had 2nd degree tearing. I guess because they were people that i know there was the emotional aspect there so despite the fact that i could see they were in pain, i could also take part in the joy afterward which made the pain bit all worth it. In fact being at those two births are the reason i'm having a VBAC at all, i would've gone on my merry ignorant way having another c-section otherwise.
I hope this helps even in some small way.

Hi L, I totally understand your fear. I was terrified of tearing or being cut. I wasn't afraid of contractions (even though I knew they would hurt) but the thought of pushing the baby out really scared me.
BUT in the end I didn't feel pain with the crowning & birth at all. I had a 2nd deg tear and didn't feel it happening, and I hadn't had any drugs. I had no troubles afterwards with my stitches, besides a little itchiness as they healed.
I'm not sure what will work for you in terms of taking the fear away - for me, the fear didn't go away until I was actually in labour. But good support is essential! Tell your DH (and any other support you might have) that you'll need loads of encouragement, even if they feel a bit silly giving it to you. And listen to your midwife/OB as you're pushing - they can really guide you as to when to push and when to pant to allow your perineum to stretch. And if you like, you can ask for a cold or warm compress for your peri to also ease any burning you might feel (though I actually found that sensation really fascinating at the time, LOL!).
I realise that I haven't had the experience you've had, but I hope this is somewhat helpful to you anyway. All the very best for an awesome birth :)

Hi there...

Mumaof2Angels20 - I know what you mean about going through all that effort and then ending up with another C... although my first was a posterior backpain labour which nobody alerted me to or offered any advice on, so this time at least I am armed with that knowledge and can try to turn the baby if need be!! I have also been reading tons of books on VBACS and a bit about the crowning so maybe the more I read the more my fear will disappear.... :crossfingers:

jade - I have read about squatting and i have been practicing... going to do a bit of perinium massage as well....

Thanks L.