Rebecca's debrief

Well, I hope this is the right place to be saying all this. I dont know where else to talk about it.
I am pretty much at the end of my rope. I dont know what I am doing and dont have anyone near by that I can ask. Mum and dad are 800 km away and all my friends are there too.
I live in a isolated area and have been here for a year now and have not made any real friends.
I had my baby in mid october back at home around friends and family and we bought her home in mid November. Since then she has gone from being a little angel to a devil child. I never know why she is crying - which she does a lot. I do the checklist - how long since her feed, is her bum wet, does she want a cuddle. Nothing ever seems to work.
DH works 12-14 hours a day and doesnt help out at home. He doesnt seem to be intersted in our daughter at all and I feel like I am alone in caring for her. He doesnt do any of her feeds. I dont know whether I am more frustrated with him or with my daughter. She is a beautiful little girl but I can't stand to be around her! I feel like the worst mum in the world.

Rebecca I am so sorry that you are feeling so yuck :(

sometimes when we feel bad...our mood rubs off on our children and the cycle starts...do you have a good relationship with your GP or child health nurse

I dont have any great words of wisdom for you...other than this...you are a wonderful mum, being a mum is the hardest most challenging job in the world, but also the most rewarding...hang in there :)

and you have all the support of many wonderful women on BB...

xx yogababy

Oh no, sweetie. Hang in there.

With both my last 2 they were perfect angels until about the 2-3 week mark. I think they take a while to sleep off their birth or something. Then they wake up. And be normal babies.
It must be incredibly hard being on your own for so long and so far from friends. Stay in your jarmies all day if you feel like it. Maybe you can get hold of a Hug a Bub so baby can be close to you and you can keep your hands free?
Are you living in an isolated area? Can you speak to your MCHN about a new mums group? Most areas try to get new mums together and this may help.

Have you had a look in the October Baby Buddies thread? I'm sure the girls there are probably going through the same as you - I did, but it was a long time ago now. My Buudy group kept me sane for a long time.
Also have a long inthe local members section - you may be able to find someone close you can have a coffee with.

Please, please come in here anytime you can if you need to further de-brief. At any time of the day or night I can guarantee there will be a BB member pacing the floor with a screaming bubba.....They can be so demanding, but this time WILL pass. In fact that's a favourite saying around here.

xoxoxoxoxo

I have a hug a bub - she hates it! I tried a sling, a carrier and the HAB and she hated all three! MCHN out here - well I they only run clincs once every fortnight and last time I rang to book Caitlyn in she couldnt find the book to give me a time and was going to ring back - still hasnt. I am in a very isolated area - 800 km west of Townsville (pop 2500)
I am in the october baby buddies group often - every one else seems so competent and know what they are doing. But its nice to have somewhere to vent! I am sure I will be back! And maybe its not as bad as I think.

I hear ya!!! Luckily for me one of the other girls had a constant screamer like me, so we limped our way though.
Actually it was pretty funny at one stage, althoguh separated by thousands of k's, both our kids seemed to do the same stuff to drive us crazy. And we both went back for more.......

Mitch was terribly hard to settle too. Once you get into a overtired/cry cycle it feels endless. Sometimes I think he was overloaded, he still needs his environment to be calm even now.
I have vague memories of trying to sleep on the couch with my leg hanging off the end rocking the pram.
CAn you go stay with your mum for a week or so?

Maybe check out the other de-briefs here too. Seriously - you are NOT the only one with a baby that didn't read the manual. I promise.

xoxoxoxo

Rebecca, You poor thing.

I see this was posted a few weeks ago now so I hope since then thing have started to look up for you!

Don't ever think you're a bad mum... Your a great mum and you're doing a great job! You've always got the support of your belly buddies. Most of us are new mums and just learning everything as we go along, just as you are.

You are a lot stronger than you think! It is a hard situation to be in, but you've come so far. Be sure to call back the MCHN if you haven't already.

Take care

The lack of support would definitely be making you feel the way you do. Have you got any mothers groups or playgroups around you?

I was never really into the baby stage. Wasn't till about 6 months when they start responding to you that I started to enjoy it. Up until then I felt like a nappy cleaning milk bar!

Please don't let the guilt get to you. And when DH gets home from work GET OUT even if its a walk down the street just get out on your own, you will feel better for it I swear :hug: I promise it does get better!