Mean terrible Girls

I am so mad today! My 14 year old daughter is going through a really terrible time at school with her so called friends. Sarah is a pretty & thin girl - who does not follow fashion - she creates her own style. She is confident, smart and does not have any problems talking with people. Lately her 'friends' have not been inviting her out to parties or social get togethers. The reason for this is that she does not get along with one of the 'popular' girls and they have not spoken for 6 months. This girls organised a suprise party for one of Sarah's close friends but did not invite sarah. The other girls told Sarah that they did not agree with this but too bad. I told Sarah if they were your friends that they would have stood up for you to this girl.
Last night Sarah told me that she had been uninvited to a party on Saturday night - cos this other girl was going and they didnt want there to be a scene between the two of them.
Look I know Sarah is no angel - but she will not start a fight in public or at someones party. She is civil - even when we ran into 'this' girl and her other friends at the shope the other day - Sarah introduced me to all of them - even this girl that she has not spoken to for months.
I dont know - maybe its because she goes to a private girls school with all the rich kids and we are certainly not rich (her dad pays the school fees).
I am just worried about her because it is really starting to get her down and she does not want to go to school anymore. Anyone got any advice - cos at this poit I just feel like going down to the school and '*****' slapping the lot of them! (i wont)

Ahhhh teenage girls. The sad thing is they start at 5 years old. My little girl goes through the same thing and she's in prep.

I went through the same thing at 13 and 14 because I refused to go along with the crowd. It was tough, but have faith in her and yourself that you can get through it.

I hate bullies. Makes my blood boil.

I have to agree with getinmybelly....My little girls go through the same thing too,and one of them is only in prep....
I dont think there is anything you can do about it,but if it is any consolation,i dont think it will last forever and one day the girl who is being mean will be the one on the outer and will feel bad too....
((((hugs)))) hang in there!!

Thanks Ladies,
I am hanging in there. Yes hopefully they get it back two fold.

THis happened to my sister at a private girls school. Unfortunately she ended up dropping out of school at 14. 2 years later most of the girls (apart from ringleader) rang and apologised. The guilt had got too much.
There was not alot my mum could do. School teachers were useless even though they knew what was going on.
I would recommend doing some research on bullying and seeing what strategies your daughter could use. There's alot of things out there now days and it's important that she stays strong and doesn't let them wear her down. There's also courses that might help her. Best of luck xo

Marisa - this brought back so many memories of my time in high school that I was near tears for your daughter.

I had two circles of friends in high school; one a close group of friends (who may I point out are still some of my best friends 10yrs after graduating yr 12) and the rest were 'friends' I had in the music area as I was heavily involved in various orchestras/bands.

I was exactly like your daughter. Well, I wasn't exactly perfectly thin or pretty; but I was confident in myself and did not feel the want nor the pressure to dress or act in a certain manner. During this time, leading up to 1/2way through year 12; I was the happiest-go-lucky girl who loved going to school everyday.

This all changed one day when someone I wasn't even close to came to me and told me that my so called best friend in the music area had been b*tching about me behind my back and she & all of 'our' friends were laughing at me. To say I was devastated was an understatement; I hid myself in the storeroom and bawled my eyes out. Seems like such an over-reaction but my self-belief and love of the world was suddenly changed forever.

I don't know how I got through this time; I never told my family what was happening except my younger sister. My REAL friends were a great support to me during this time; but they couldn't be there when I had a 10 day overseas music tour with these same people that betrayed me so badly.

It took me a long time to get over what had happened; it went so much deeper than just not being able to trust these particularl people anymore. I couldn't trust anyone, even my real friends or family.

This sounds so dark and down; but the truth is that I learnt to believe in the only person I could....myself. It was no fun being a loner for a good part of my final year in an area that I spent so much time in.

Perhaps all that I can tell you is that it WILL get better for your daughter and I think it's fantastic that you're so aware of her situation. Keep supporting her and encourage her to continue just being herself. School will end and she will be much stronger mentally & emotionally for this experience. She will move on in life and these girls will become just a part of a distant memory.