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My little Maddie starts childcare two days a week next Monday. I'm so in two minds about it all. I need to go back to work for some extra money to help out with the mortgage. I try to make myself feel better about it by saying 'at least she wont be there full time' Do you think 3 mths is too young to put her into care? How old was your bub when they started childcare?
Hayley, don't beat yourself up about it. You've got a mortgage so Maddie has a safe and secure roof over your head. You just do what you've got to do. The fact that you care about this issue shows what a great mother you are. Just do your best.
Hayley, I agree with slyder, you do what you have to. I will most likely have to go back to work quite early with our next bub too. You have to pay the bills and live, there's no other choice.
Maddie will be fine I'm sure. She will probably love it. And starting at an early age, you will (hopefully) not have to go through separation anxiety! I am an early childhood teacher and we have lots of babies start at a young age. They have all benn fine. It's usually the mummies that are a bundle of nerves!
When Chelsea was 4 months old she went into FDC 2 days a week...11 hour days. I loved the days to myself even though i was at work. She still goes now and loves it soooo much....
Dont beat urself up..i agree with Slyder to....you have to do whats best for your family!
Maddie will be fine :)
Hayley, exactly what Slyder said, don't be so hard on yourself about this. At least you are being honest in realizing that you need the extra money for the mortgage instead of just ingnoring it and the situation turning ugly with trying to make ends meet cause that in itself can lead to relationship problems.
TBH, you will probably end up enjoying the 2 days at work.. I also don't think that there is a right or wrong time to start childcare because everybody's situation is different.
Best of luck..
Mother's guilt is the most terrible thing. I am going through the same thing. Olivia is starting childcare on 8th Jan and it is just killing me but like you we need the extra money. Like slyder said you can only do your best and that is exactly what you are doing. It will be hard on you emotional but she will love it and thrive. My girlfriend has put all three of her girls in childcare since they were all 6 weeks old and they are great girls who know exactly who their mum is always have stories of what they did during their day.
You'll do great. Best of luck and let us know how you get on.
I guess im the opposite. Im sitting here with my 3 month old on my lap and there is just no way I could put him into daycare...but im a sook of a mummy and couldnt imagine anyone else looking after my bubby when all he needs me. Ive got a friend whos baby was born the day before Joshie and she put her little girl in daycare a few weeks ago and it just broke my heart. Im not in any way saying its wrong and I give alot of credit to Mums who can do it for their familes sake...im just saying I couldnt :) I worked in the babies room of a daycare centre for 5 years, and I know most bubs love it :) All the best hun xox
Oh wow thanks guys, I feel so much better now. If the mortgage wasnt so big, I'd definately stay home with her, but unfortunately theres no choice. My parents/friends all seem to think childcare will be good for her. I guess time will tell, but thanks so much for your kind words!!! :)
Hi Hayley,
When I first put the boys into daycare I cried and rang my husband and asked if we were doing the right thing. My boys love going and playing with there friends. They only go 2 days a week as I can not afford to send them everyday and my mum looks after them the other days. Olivia will be going next year as well. Maddie will love it.
My boys both went to daycare at 13 weeks. I didn't have any problems with the carers at all.
My main problem (and still is) is trying to balance work and family life. And of course, the Mummy guilts. When I'm at home, I feel guilty for being at home and feel I should be at work. And when I'm at work, I feel guilty for being at work and feel I should be at home! A catch 22 that you just can't win.
I was in the same situation - if I didn't go back to work, the mortgage and bills didn't get paid. So I didn't have a choice. Fortunately I'm a high income earner and could manage the ridiculous childcare bill ($610 per week before rebate!) and still have SOMETHING to take home... although if I included the FTB Parts A and B as "income" then I was only making about $20 extra per day by working!
Best wishes.
my DD was 8mths when I returned to full time work, I cried and she thrived, she loves her carers and is so independent,she is now 17mths and it's great we get there in the morning and she kisses her friends hello she often leaves me with out a backwards glance(sob) and runs of to play with her friends she is really confident. You have to do these things so don't beat yourself up,
My DD gets bored now when I have a few days at home with her she is so used to having so much to do
I went back to work 2-3 days per week when my DS was 8 months old. It broke my heart. For a few weeks before the scheduled start daye I cried every day and couldnt sleep. It made it harder because my DS was so dependent on me as we had hardly spent any time apart before this and he would always cry when I wasnt around. But when I started work he was fine. He became a bit more independent and always enjoyed his days. I hated it so much that I gave it up 4 months later. I figured that your child is a baby for such a short time and it is such a beautiful time in your life.
I have some suggestions for you given that your baby is so young. You may have already done this however I thought Id just suggest it anyway. You need to work out how much income you will actually bring home after you pay for day care and travel, and also how much tax and Family Tax benefit you will lose. It may work out that you are only a few dollars in front, and is this really worth it?? Have you considered re-financing your home loan or moving to a loan that has a pregnancy pause option? Or you could cut down to essentials for say the next 3 months until your baby is older? My cousin did just these few small things and was able to stay home a little longer.
I can tell that you are really upset about returning to work so soon, and you have every right to feel that way. If returning to work is truly your only option then I wish you all the best because you are doing the best for your family's future. It will be hard, but Im sure everything will work out well.
Diamond Girl, thanks for your suggestions. We are off loading our investment unit, its currently on the market. Until they sells yes I have to go back to work, to keep up with the mortgage. Once this is sold it will knock a decent amount off our mortgage, and then we are going to re asses the situation. So its not all doom and gloom, hopefully I will be able to stop work and stay at home with Madeline. If I didnt have to put her into child care I wouldnt feel so bad, but both our parents work. I am just going to see how it all pans out.
hi hayley
dont worry so much do what you need to do and what is best for your family i will be going babck to work very early aswell when my baby is born and as a childcare provider and looking after younger children especially babies i believe the children really benefit from childcare by having other children around them and having that extra human contact.
good luck with everything.
Hayley, my first DS started day care at 7 months and DS2 started at 8 months. They have both always loved it. The only one in tears at drop offs was me LOL! Some people choose not to use day care, but I am glad my boys go. It gives them the opportunity to do things they wouldn't at home, to interact with kids and other adults, and to learn from the experience. DS1 stayed in day care one day a week even when I was on mat leave with DS2, as he enjoyed it so much he would have been sad to stop going. I say give it a go and see what happens. You might find it works so well you don't want to stop work. And I also agree with the pps. You will suffer from mothers guilt no matter what you do, so just do what works for you. GL.
My little one starts daycare full time on Monday. She is 8 months old. I look all the positives about sending her to daycare, and know I will have quality time with her during the evenings and weekends. Thankfully daycare is just around the corner and work is only a ten minute drive away.