Rotines

I was wondering when to start establising a routine and would love to hear some. I know routines allow for flexibility but should we be doing roughly the same things at the same times during the day? ie sleep, cuddle, play, eat solids then bottle and bed. So far i have only really stuck to late arvo routine of solids, play, bath, bottle and bed. I also read in a book that bubs shouldnt go to sleep after 4pm (if u want them to go to sleep around 7pm) but i dont think its good to keep them up either as then they are over tired and wont want to go to sleep? I have tried keeping dd up..and its hard to get her to sleep even though she is so tired from being awake for so long...but then when she goes to sleep she will often wake around 7:30 pm to play and go back down at around 9:30 pm...ok she then sleeps all night but what about mummy and daddy time??

Mez, I am still just going with the flow with my DD.Lately every day has been different, but she's teething pretty badly these past few weeks and her sleeping and eating has been terrible some days. Before that though she had a 'flow' to the day which I could generally predict what would happen and when she would sleep etc. I am not worried about a routine, it will happen when she's ready and not before tha. I don't think there is any use stressing over putting her into a routine because then both she and I are both stressed and unhappy. I usually aim put DD to bed by no later than 8.30 and no earlier than 7 at night and that is the only routine part of our day. I don't let her sleep after 5pm and if she goes to sleep at 4.30 or so I don't let her sleep for more than 45mins. Those are our only rules!

HTH! Goodluck :)

I started a routine early on in the late arvo's but dont particularly follow one in the day, just take it as it comes. But at night it's always feed, play with dad who's just home, bath, cuddle quiet time, bottle & bed.
Charlie usually doesn't get put down for arvo nap til approx 1.30 so I know he'll be up around 4ish & stay up til his bed time but early on it was harder as he'd wake early in the arvo & be tired by 5pm & a nightmare. During this time I would give him a swing as that would calm him or a walk & he would just doze. That way we could keep him up til ready to have bath etc. Now it usually works fine.
If he doesn't have much of an arvo sleep & is up early & tired I put him down, but as above only let him have the 45min nap & wake him up.

I agree that the arvo routine is the first to work on so they go to bed around the same time each day. Usually feed, bath, cuddle/top up feed, bed.
During the day the only routine I have is that she feeds every 3 hours (give or take half an hour) and that I look for tired signs after an hour -hour and a half so I can gauge when to put her to bed. My approach is not to wake them if they are sleeping, so if they sleep after 4pm so be it, but since they usually don't stay up longer than 2 hours before I see tired signs, she is always in bed by 7pm.
I think setting up a routine is easier as they feed less and start on solids.
I have read something that if you write down what your child does you can get an idea of their natural routine and have a starting point of when they sleep best and how often they feed so you have a starting point. I did read one of the books where you put them into a routine but it was too hard and my son fed a lot more than was in the book, plus he wouldn't take a bottle.
I say go with what suits you and makes life easier for you.

Hi Mez, I established a routine with James from the day we came home from hospital (ie the day after he was born). I guess because there was no real variation from his morning and night time routine he was very placid and still is at 6 years of age - but that's my view.

Morning, he'd wake and my ex-husband would change him prior to leaving for work and bring him to me in bed where I'd give him a morning feed and we'd sleep for a little longer. We'd get up, I'd change him if needed, put him in his bouncer, pop that on the floor of the bathroom where he could see me so I could have a shower and talk to him during that time.

We'd then have breakfast (mine only until he started solids - he was BF) and then he'd have another feed about mid morning and go down for a nap (I'd change his nappy first, make sure he was clean and dry first) and off he'd go to sleep. He'd wake and that's when we'd go out and have lunch and/or playtime.

If we were still out in the afternoon, he'd fall asleep in his pram or the car seat, if at home, he'd have another feed and then the whole clean and dry thing happened again and he'd go down for an arvo nap. He'd wake usually around 4, then we'd have a small feed, then a play and he'd be carted around the house in his bouncer with me (prior to him getting more mobile).

My ex husband would come home from work, we'd have dinner around 5.30 and he'd have a play with James and then bath at 6pm (religiously, and quietly and calmly but still with a bit of fun), get him dressed, dim the lights, I'd feed him (the little monster would feed for about 45 minutes at a time and I'd always do a mid-feed burp), then XH would pop him into bed (always around the 7pm mark) and he'd go off to sleep without a problem. When he woke in the night, XH would get up, change him and I'd go and get myself ready for that night feed, XH would go back to sleep and I'd feed James in bed (do the mid-feed burp again) and then pop him back into his cot where he'd sleep until morning.

Mez - I think we read the same book about not putting bubs down after 4pm! It really caused some headaches in our household. DS really needs that extra nap - most of the time he will go down at about 5pm for a nap - sometimes only 20-30mins and it just seems to give him a extra boost before he has his bath and storytime etc.

As soon as I decided to go back to work 2 days a week, (daycare one day and daddy day the other), a few months ago, I established a routine with Sari. It can vary depending on what time she wakes and if she is teething but generally it is the same. She may not be hungry some meal times but drink all her milk or eat lots of solids but not drink as much milk etc but generally the routine is the same every day. The times changed a bit recently so I updated it for daddy. Some days she doesnt have the last sleep either. I go with the 20 minute rule, if I cant get her to sleep after 20 minutes I give up and she stays up until that last bottle. All her sleeps are usually, 40-60 minutes. If she has a big 3rd sleep, she doesnt go down until 8ish but either way I dont mind as she sleeps all night, little cherub. Her routine is on the fridge and as follows (note the special instructions for daddy at the bottom ha ha):

5.30-6AM WAKE / CHANGE BUM / GET DRESSED / 50-100ML

7AM BREKKY WITH MUMMY

8.30-9AM 200ML / SLEEP / WAKE / CHANGE BUM

11.30AM LUNCH WTH MUMMY OR DADDY

12-12.30 200ML / SLEEP / WAKE / CHANGE BUM

3.30-4PM 200ML / SLEEP / WAKE / CHANGE BUM

6PM DINNER WITH MUMMY & DADDY

6.30PM BATH

7PM 200ML / BED

BOTTLES – ADD 4 SCOOPS, SHAKE WELL & HEAT HIGH 30 SEC. IF SHE DOESN’T DRINK ALL, ITS OK UP TO 2 HOURS BEFORE DITCHING.

FOOD – HEAT HIGH 10-15 SECS JUST ROOM TEMP IS FINE, IF YOU NEED TO COOL IT A LITTLE ADD SOME OF HER WATER.

NAPPY BAG – PACKED WITH NAPPIES, WIPES, NAPPY SACKS, HAND DISINFECTANT, CHANGE OF CLOTHES, SUNSCREEN, BIB & RUSK. BEFORE GOING OUT, JUST ADD HER WATER, SOME TOYS & POSSIBLY HER NEXT BOTTLE OF MILK.

SLEEP TIME - PUT ON HER TUMMY, IF SHE STIRS AS YOU PUT HER DOWN, JUST APPLY A BIT OF PRESSURE ON HER BUM OR BACK & SHE SHOULD SETTLE BACK DOWN FAIRLY QUICKLY.

CHANGING BUM – FOR #2s, GET EVERYTHING READY BEFORE YOU UNDO HER NAPPY. HAVE THE NAPPY BAG OPEN, LOTS OF WIPES & THE CLEAN NAPPY OPEN TO SWAP OVER. YOU MUST WIPE INSIDE THE CREASES AT THE TOP OF HER LEGS AND INSIDE HER TWINKIE TO AVOID INFECTION

Water only should be heated for bottles then add the formula. Microwaves can destroy many nutrients.

My routine is still being fine tuned.

Thanks everyone. I posted a few days ago but see now that my post went off somewhere into cyberspace instead of right her where it should be. I have been working on the late evening routine and so far it is working. I think its a little hard for DH not to be excited and playful with her when he gets home at 7pm as he hasnt seen her all day but i think he would rather the quiet time together then to rock her for an hour. I have been sitting in her room with her until she is settled or almost asleep. Yes she does the whingy get me out of the cot cry but the whole time she is looking at me and eventually her head gets to heavy to keep up, she puts it down and drifts off. When i think about it, she kinda has established her own little routine in the day. I have been thinking of joining a local playgroup recently but the times they are held are when DD is normally down for a nap. Can i change this? for one day a week? Will she get use to it? I just imagine going and her being cranky the whole time coz its really her nap time. Oh im also going to take the advice given to give her a short 45 nap if she happens to want one after 4pm... just to get her through to 7 or 7:30pm. Books are great for advice but i think i forget that not everything that i read is 100 %...its so hard when u dont know any better though!! Thanks again!!

Hey Mez,
With my little girl, I didn't bother with a routine, I followed her guides, when she was hungry she fed, when she was tired she slept, to a degree I still do that, only her meal times are set times. When I started putting the routine in was when I started solids. Now, we have a happy little girl who gets up at 8:30am, has 2 naps through the day and goes to bed at 7-7:30pm depending how long it takes to eat her dinner.
I think it depends on your personality and beliefs whether you need a strict structured routine or a more flexible one that conforms to your baby. The main thing I really did with Kailee from extremely early was taught her to put herself to sleep, I didn't rock her to sleep etc unless she was sick or teething and too clingy, I found once she could self settle we got more sleep at night as she put herself back to sleep instead of needing DH or I to help.

Mez, with the playgroup, try keeping her awake that bit longer so she gets a little interaction, and then she could fall asleep and let you have adult conversation! She will probably become accustomed to not having a sleep at that time on that day. We do swimming lessons, and she knows when its swimming day we dont have a nap. They are very adaptable little creatures.

I hope that I could give another perspective... my main advice is to go with your instincts and your baby though!

Richelle

Oh and a helpful tip for bottles, if you keep boiled water in the frigde, when bottle time comes, (for a 240ml) put 100ml freshly boiling water and 140ml cold boiled water and add formula, perfect temp for bub to drink every time without the damage of the microwave!

Thanks for ur advice Richelle. I am going to try playgroup next week as really want her to have the interation with little people. She loves children playing with her at the checkouts when we go shoppng. I will go to a playgroup that starts at 9am... if she is having fun she may even forget she is tired? :) I also want to take her to swimming lessons in the near future, when did u start taking ur DD?
Thanks also for the bottles tip..i am still heating her bottle in a jug of boling water!

I started her at swimming as soon as the next term commenced after her 6 month needles. It was probably the best thing I did, she absolutely loves it!
I've found with Kailee, if she is distracted with playing etc she does tend to forget she is due for a nap, until she gets soooo tired that she crashes!

I go to storytime at the Library, playtime at the play cafe & often to the the pool each week. On these days he just sleeps at a different time. They are adaptable & when tired will sleep. Usually DS always misses his morning sleep, but I make sure he's well fed before leaving where we have been as he always falls alseep on the walk home then is into bed. Just usually means he doesn't have a big arvo nap, just a small cat nap later in the arvo......you do need to get out of the house at some point.
I try & do most things in the morn & be home in the arvo as that's the big sleep.

Yeah Erin I do the same. Mornings are for going out and crabby bubby! But then afternoon is my time to sit and relax while she sleeps!