Contented Little Baby Book

My MIL gave me a copy of the CLB Book when my DS was 3 months old, as recommended by my SIL who had just given birth to a baby of her own, and had been told by her "nanny friends" in the UK that the CLB Book was excellent. MIL said something like, "I thought you might like to have a look at this book because if you follow what it says DS might start sleeping through the night".

At 3 month DS, DH and I were doing really well. DS usually woke a couple of times in the night for a feed, so DH and I were tired (some days more than others) but DS was so happy and "contented" and we were generally all getting along just great! DH and I were both totally prepared for the night waking and frequent breastfeeding and regarded it as a completely normal (and healthy) aspect of looking after a baby.

Anyway, after just glancing at a few pages of the CLB Book I was plunged into a depression that took me three days to dig myself out of. I was absolutely gutted! I could not believe the tone of the book, that "unless you do it this way, you're doing it WRONG and you're STUPID!" I could not believe that my MIL thought I should be parenting her grandson in that way either.

After regaining my composure I put the book in the back of the cupboard. I have looked at it a few more times since but now regard it with the appropriate level of importance, it is one method that may work for some people (but I personally think it is barbaric and would never parent my baby/child in that way).

Now the time has come to get rid of it from my life. I wanted to shred it and put it in the compost but with my respect for books, that has been built up over my whole life, I just can't do that. I thought about donating it to a charity shop but then I though, Oh no, what if ends up in the hands of a new mother and she has the same reaction as me.

So, I thought I'd offer it up here to anyone that would like to look at this parenting perspective. So someone PM me and I'll post it to you FREE (we've got so many stamps here, but DH and his stamp collecting is a whole other story). Maybe when you've finished with it you could also pass it on, with the appropriate warnings required of such a dangerous thing, of course.

Oh and BTW, my SIL ended up being a lovely gentle parent and still breastfeeds her now 12 month old frequently during the night. And MIL still gives me advice that I am much better at disregarding now.

Phew, that feels much better.

ETA: Just looking at it now, it says on the front “Britain’s Bestselling Childcare Author” – Scary!

LOL That is scary Rachel...

It's funny the different approaches childless sleeping experts have over those who do ;) There is a hormonal connection to consider :) The 'nannies' tend to preech the same stuff. You don't need a licence to write a book, and being an author adds credibility so I think thats most scary!!!

I read this book too and think it makes a better coaster. The routines are INSANE, "feed for 3.4 mins on side (a) then drink some distilled tap water in a tall glass, then switch to side (b) feed for 2.1 mins" etc. But i have a friend who swore by this book and she does have a wonderful happy baby/toddler. So i guess different strokes for different folks hey?!

Oh, I’ve remembered a funny thing. In the CLB Book somewhere it says something about mother’s eating a good hearty breakfast to keep their kj intake up to make milk for BFing. Anyway, SIL interpreted this as “DH must bring me breakfast in bed every morning” and convinced him he had to because it said so in the book. And he still does bring her breakfast in bed every morning. She said to me, that’s the only good thing she got out of that book!

tbh, I think now that DS would have done well with this. But I am taking NO advice from anyone who thinks it is acceptable to have a baby crying while you do nothing about it.

All the "experts" make you feel stupid for doing what makes you and baby happy rather than their stupid little ideas. I hate the book SiL lent me because apparently DS was only crying because he wasn't in this stupid routine. And as for making him sleep on his own... only just now, because he's getting over seperation anxiety (got it early, it's going early). From birth I tried to make him sleep without me, from birth he let me know that was not acceptable. So I just did what made us happy and you know what? We're happy. I wouldn't be pushing it at all except I'm going back to work (bah - drinking a hot coffee and talking without interuptions work?) and so he needs to go to sleep without me.

Anyway, DS would have been OK with this but I wouldn't (at 8.03 you visit the lavatory, at 8.06 you wash your hand, at 8.07 you play with a ball...), and that's important too. We have a good routine that we devised together and his sleeping is improving. What mad person thinks a baby should sleep through so early anyway?

Isn’t anyone interested? Did I mention I’d post it to you for FREE! Yeah, I guess I didn’t really do a very good sales pitch. Oh well, I might just have to get the shredder out…

Maybe donate it to Lifeline?

If you were given a book "How to torture" you wouldn't pass it on to someone else just because its a book and you respect books. I'd chuck it! JMO

I saw a doco on the author and her book, whilst in the UK. From what I saw, it didn't look like something that would work for me. But it was interesting, because they had a few couples try to follow her routines. From memory, some found that it worked really well, probably because it suited their and their children's personalities. Those for whom it didn't work, ended up feeling stressed, depressed, and as though they had failed... particularly if they tried to follow it exactly.

Poor old Gina Ford... some love her, but many hate her.

I might PM you I have a girl in mums group who is desperate for anything to help with her waking up 17 times a night baby. I might have a squizz myself ;)

LMS – Congratulations, very soon you will be the proud (or not so proud) owner of the CLB book. Please treat it with the caution it deserves.

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Oh, I?ve remembered a funny thing. In the CLB Book somewhere it says something about mother?s eating a good hearty breakfast to keep their kj intake up to make milk for BFing. Anyway, SIL interpreted this as ?DH must bring me breakfast in bed every morning? and convinced him he had to because it said so in the book. And he still does bring her breakfast in bed every morning. She said to me, that?s the only good thing she got out of that book!

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i like her thinking!!! good work:clap::clap:!!

Epacris, if you've still got it I wouldn't mind having a look at it (for the sake of disputing any of the things it suggests in future. I am well and truly past the stage of accepting advice that goes against what we do anyway (and tbh there weren't many who were brave enough to give it to me in the first place, which probably says something about my [lack of] approachability!).

If you PM me I will forward my address.

Someone mentioned it in a prenatal bfing class I took up at the hospital and the midwife politely demurred that the book was 'controversial' and that she didn't agree with the point the woman who read it had brought up and why. But that midwife was a wonder and was totally recommending infant-led bfing, etc. Hopefully she put the mother-to-be off reading it again!

Sorry Jennifer, I gave it to Sarah, who's given it to her friend. Honestly, I don't think you're missing anything, but if you're really curious your local library might have a copy.

Jennifer I have the book your welcome to borrow it.

I actually found the book useful, dont get me wrong I did NOT follow this book thoroughly I only losely followed the routines, did NOT do the controlled crying either, and Julia slept from 3 months onwards through the night. So the book does work for some who dont follow it to the letter only take what you need from it.

BTW I think Baby Love speak badly so does DH, he thought was aimed not at men but only at women and found it equally annoying.

Hi Belle

I might borrow it when we see each other next!

I found Baby Love useful only as a reference if I was looking up something specific, rather than a cover to cover read. I think the Mighty Toddler one was actually better (but I don't recall referring to either very much at all).

Thanks Belle and Epacris!

My MCHN bagged this book out at my home visit which I thought was amusing. She asked if I'd read any parenting books and when I said I hadn't and didn't plan to as I was just going to follow Oliver's lead she looked thrilled. She said if I felt the need for one Baby Love was "ok, at least its Australian," but not necessary.