Work/ Maternity leave and returning to work issues (could be a bit long!)

I was originally planning to go back to work in Feb, when DS was 6mths old. I had organised for Family Day Care to contact me about providing care when I went back. They called me at 3mths and wanted to know whenb I was going back and how many days a wk. I went into work to talk about it, and the office has gone to the dogs. They're behind in work coz there's not enough staff, staff have quit and retrain of new staff with the new system, which was put in place while I was gone. I mentioned, that if my boss really needed me, then I'd come back for 1day a week. I got a decent casual hourly rate, and when he said I could 2 days wk if I really wanted - it wasn't a statement, it was a plea. I said yes. So I was working 6-7hrs a day, 2days wk. I dropped it down to 5.5hrs and now my boss wants me to work 7-8hrs a day 2 days a wk. Now, we could use the money (who couldn't?!), but since being back at work, I've realised that I don't want to be at work til DS is 1. He's only little once and I know I'll regret going back. He is also breastfed and I don't want to give it up, nor give formula for the days I work. The amount of EBM I have left will last a day - tomorrow. The manual breast pump I'm using produces diddly squat. There's no way weven in a wk that I'll be able to make a days worth at that rate. My baby comes first. I don't know how to explain to my boss that I'll work the 2days he wants, but if possible can I do it from home? I know the answer is going to be no (another work issue). To top all this off, for the last week I feel like I've been asleep on my feet and drained of all energy, and not just because DS has developed night and (still has) day sleeping issues.

I don't think they can fire me (and theyre despereate, why would they? I've been there 3yrs) and I know they have to keep my position open for me for 12mths - which ends in July.

What can I do? I'm so nervous and worried about what I'll say to my boss tomorrow. Any suggestions?

You are in a very good position and I would be VERy surprised if they let you go. I'm sure they would take what they could. Its how I got my boss to go against the part time rules (min 3 days) and give me two.
Stand firm, they need you. Smile and tell them you are on along waiting list for day care and you will increase your hours if you get a place. They can't argue with that, nor pick on you for wanting to stay home.

You may want to follow your heart and put your baby first. There will always be work (whether your work does negotiate or if there may be another job with better conditions), but your child's first few years are priceless.

Putting my child first worked for me - things have a way of working out in difficult situations. When I was ready to come back to work, it was under my terms and with negotiable hours that suit the ''work/family/life'' balance. I wouldn't settle for anything less.

I don't know if what I'm saying helps, but I hope it all works out for you.