Are you feeding AGAIN?

just wondering how other mums cope with the age old question from people who are not aware how demand feeding works - we've all heard it i'm sure "Are you feeding him/her AGAIN?" my other personal favorite is you are making a rod for your back to which i reply well it's my back! sometimes i feel flustered (even after successfully breastfeeding my older two well into toddlerhood) when uneducated people believe that if your baby is fed frequently they comment 'you mustn't have enough milk'. Oscar is a very petite boy (he is on the 15th% on the USA graphs for artifitially fed babys in the back of the MCHN book) and i often get comments about how 'skinny' he is and how i am starving him. even though he consistantly gains the minimum amount of weight weekly and has wet and poohy nappies (he is only 5.3kg). he is exactly like my eldest son as a baby who hit 5ft when he just turned 10 years old and is 30 kg so is still long and skinny (and he is in men's size 7 shoes!). i didn't get the comments so much with my middle son who was a big fatty on breastmilk. most days i cope well with comments or i hardly hear them or i look at my happy, contented baby and know they don't know what they are talking about. but some days when i'm having a flustered mum day i become a little worried and concerned. wow i didn't know how this affected me until i wrote this post.... sorry for dribbling on and i'd love to hear how others deal with other peoples misguided attempts to tell us what is best for our babies!

beckles

Hun, you're doing a wonderful job OK!!!!!!

I have demand feed my son also, and he's still on the 10 percentile, but not for his height and fat head LOL.

Hun, you're doing what you know is right, I tell them all to get stuffed sorry but it annoys me, um you do have 2 other children, it's not like your a first time mum.

Ignore them, you're doing a great job. O:)

beckles, have you read Pinky's article here: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby/b...rmance-anxiety - it touches on this sort of stuff :)

My FIL (who I adore, usually) made the "Are you feeding her again?" comment to me once, when Olivia was just 3 weeks old, when they visited us in Darwin.

I was knackered and had no idea what I was doing with my brand new baby daughter, and couldn't be bothered explaining to him about demand feeding, so I just looked him in the eye and said "John, what would you prefer? The sounds of a baby happily slurping, or the sounds of a baby unhappily crying?"

He never commented again, and my MIL congratulated me for saying it, and we laughed, because she had demand fed all 3 of her children (DH included) which back in the late '60's/early '70's was unheard of! So my FIL has a selctive memory we think!

Bless her, she said to me "If they cry, feed them, If they have wind, feed them. If they are tired, feed them. In fact, if in doubt, just feed them!"

Yes - When MIL is here I always get the 'Are you feeding him AGAIN?????" Phase, I often just reply with 'He`s always hungry' and I tak myself off and feed him, she has also at times told me he has wind but it wasn`t wind he was hungry.

Even though MIL had been told I`d demand feed Matthew she told me she doesn`t believe in demand feeding it should be 4 hourly but then looked at what happened when she was feeding her son (my Hubby) every 4 hours he was put onto solids at 5 weeks becuase he was hungry, look at how much easier it would have been to give Mark another feed rather then putting such a young baby onto solids.

Times change and the older generation don`t realise this.

Matthew has just gone onto solids and I`m now getting comments about solids from MIL of "oh he can have egg yolk soon and give him a chicken drumstick to chew on". She has been told what he can and can`t have but she still brings up what she believes in.

Take Care

Deeanne

hmm the catch cry of the uninformed!

Believe me as someone who has had both a fast gainer and a Child that doesn't grow (the same and only Felix ;) ) I have heard that phrase more than I can believe!

Firstly when Felix was born till he was about 2.5 month old he was a super gainer, he grew into this bubba like baby really quickly, and of course was demand fed..I would get a range of comments like" Is he feeding again?" "Are you sure your not overfeeding him?" "boy he's a guzzler isn't he?" and how wonderful my milk was..

Then he stopped gaining altogether..at 3 months he weighed 7 kilos @ 6 mths he weighed 7.1 kgs ...the next questions were "Is he feeding again" "have you had your milk quality tested" "when are you going to start solids"..as if a bit of rice cereal had more nutraition value than my calorie rich milk!!

Of course later we discovered it was his lung condition..

However I'm trying to say not matter how fast or slwo your baby gains there is always someone there making a comment..

For those of you with babies that started low and stayed low..why do you think the percentiles were started 15 % means 15% of babies are lighter than your baby and it's the curve that is more important..

I am going to send you the breatsfed babies charts which are hopefully going to be published soon, as an alternative to those formula fed cahrts which are in the rear of the book..and every MCHN worth her title should have pointed this out to you!

Now if you baby is crossing percentiles madly and dropping weight like Felix, then i would say pop into see a Pead for a check up

Beckles - I really don't know what the answer is.. I am sick of the comments myself.

I don't trust those percentile charts, I am sure it just makes more mums worried for any use they have. Matthew has been on the 5th percentile for months and he is a happy healthy boy. That's the main thing!

Try and grin and bear as best you can, I choose to ignore those comments now, people may think that's rude of me but I don't care, Matthew is happy, that's all I care about.

Katanya/Kelly,

Is it possible to have the breastfed baby chart on here somewhere for us to all have a look at!???

Thanks

Tracey I have posted something about it in the mesage for mods forum.

I think it would be a great idea too..up to Kelly!

In the meantime I have PM'd it to you..anyone else who wants it PM me

Katanya - OMG @ people asking if you had had your "milk quality" tested. Do people honestly think that BM goes off or something?? :roll:

thank you so much for your support and suggestions. thanks katanya for the breastfeeding charts.

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"If they cry, feed them, If they have wind, feed them. If they are tired, feed them. In fact, if in doubt, just feed them!"

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i agree with your MIL lucy and tend to follow this practice myself. :D

love beckles

Lucy - that quote is priceless. and hey - it cant hurt can it?

i have never tried not demand feeding - i know that when emma wants to be fed she wants to be fed NOW and there is no convincing her otherwise. i have no idea how they got through when they would wait the prescribed 4 hours 8-[ i just couldnt do it.

thank goodness times have changed!!

i am demand feeding Makon,which works well for me. and i havent really had any of "those" comments yet but i have had people telling me that i shouldnt let him sleepso long at night with outr a feed(he sleeps 9 hours) and that i should wake him up for it!!! which to me is like waking someone up to give them a sleeping tablet! iykwim

When I was feeding my eldest son at the playground 15mnths old a person I didn't know came over to me and said "You don't need to feed a child that old its only for comfort and it looks revolting"

After I got over my intiall shock :bs: & WTF I simply said " I choose to comfort my child!" and left it that. People like that arn't worth your time.

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When I was feeding my eldest son at the playground 15mnths old a person I didn't know came over to me and said "You don't need to feed a child that old its only for comfort and it looks revolting"
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OMG that is so unbelievable..what is wrong with comforting your child anyhow? Lucky you are a strong minded person..that's like me telling someone "why are you bottle feeding your baby for, don't you know breatsfeeding's better..it looks revolting" I can't get over people who think you want their opinion on how to parent your child.. ](*,)

Ellibugs..I think you've hit the nail on the head..why wake him up if he's sleeping through!!?? I think they are just jealous people who wnat a good nights sleep..enjoy it while it lasts I say! Felix slept through from 8 weeks old because he had plenty to eat through the day..you are very lucky you have a child with a strong day/night awareness