first mc

Hi just wanted share with you that I just recently suffered my first mc and I am totally shattered and when I am not feeling so sorry for myself I am totally filled with rage ,before the pregnancy I had been diagnosed with pocs and told I would never have anymore children this itself was very hard to deal with fast foward two years I cant believe my eyes and luck when I do a home test that turns positive I go for a scan and told everything is fine and I am six weeks,go to my doctor and ask if the pocs are of any concern which was quickly dismissed at ten weeks I lost my little angel and after trying to figure out what went wrong I find out that I should have avoided certain foods and I was realy hoping you could shed some light on this because I feel like I will never trust a doctor again thank you all for sharing your personal stories it is the only thing that has helped to see my feeling reflected in your post

Sniffy! No matter what anyone says, it wasnt your fault!
Personally i dont really believe in the foods you should avoid (well, maybe a few) - i ate everythign with dd and she is just fine, SO DONT BAME YOURSELF!!
you have come to the right place for support, big hugs

Hi Sniffy,

I am so so sorry for your sad loss. Your feelings are totally normal. I was also devastated. It takes time. I am not 'over it' but it does get a little easier to deal with.
I also have PCOS - and dont believe whoever told you that you'll never get pregnant. There are so many women on this site with the same disorder. Sure, it can make it more difficult - but far from impossible. If you case is severe, then may I suggest a visit to an endocrinologist. I was seeing one for Thyroid and he diagnosed my PCOS and is also treating that.
With regards to food, you have to avoid soft cheese, raw fish etc. You will find a list of these foods somewhere on this site and I am sure someone will be kind enough to send you the link - sadly I am too unco-ordinated...
Take your time to grieve...there is no time limit.

thank you for your kind support I am trying not to blame myself but it so hard after having normal pregnacies in the past I never realised how lucky I was untill loosing my little angel.I thought I was doing all the right things and was proud of myself for giving up most of my vices as soon as I found out ,I gave up the ciggies and coca cola took folate and tried eating as healthy as possible but I am a chochaholic and though I didnt cut it out I reduced my intake dramatically,after reading up on the cysts on the internet I saw carbs are to be avoided and could not help but wonder what if I thankgod for my beautiful children but worry that I will never come to terms with my loss and after reading others tragedies I could not fathom the pain of going through it again let alone a number of times and it helps me realise how lucky I am to have my kids and it helps me appriacate them more than ever before so thank you for sharing and replying

I had a m/c with my first pregnancy and I was devastated and depressed for months after not knowing if I would ever be able to have another successful pregnancy. I blamed myself for some oysters I ate. I know it was really tough at the time and not many people could understand the extent of my grief. They expect you to just get over it.

I had the same feelings after my first miscarriage. I analysed every little thing trying to find something I had done which had caused it to happen. I blamed myself even though everyone said that it wasn't and it just wasn't meant to be etc etc. Even now I still think that there is one thing I did that caused it.
I think it is human nature (especially for women) to blame ourselves for what happens. After all, it is our bodies and our decisions which affect this little person. Everyone will tell you that it wasn't your fault, it just wasn't meant to be and in time you will come to believe that, but I think there is always a part of us that wonders "what if I hadn't......".

thanks for your replies I am very lucky to have a very supportive partner but it helped me so much to get it of my chest on this site I have felt better so much better after reading your threads and realising how much harder some of you have had it.And can totally relate to your threads,women need to talk about this to heal and though I will never accept it I have come alot further and in my grief since I stumbled across this site,There is something about talking to and reading about others who have been through it that lightens the pain.Hoping that one day I can help some one the way you have all helped me :redface:

sniffy, I am sorry for your loss. I to blamed myself and thought back to all the things I had that may of made me m/c. The day before I started to m/c I did a big clean up of the house and worked my freckle off. Then the next day I started bleeding. I thought that this was the reason. I now beleive that there was nothing I or anyone else could of done to prevent or stop this happening. Everything happens for a reason even if you dont know why just yet!!!

so sorry to hear of your loss, just take one day at a time , sending you a big hug

I am sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry for what you're going through and I'll be praying for you.

I had PCOS before my first pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby. I do NOT have it currently, but had three MC's in a row. So I'm not sure there's a correlation.

As for food to avoid, first of all, you did not "cause" a MC by eating the wrong thing--you can only stack your odds. But they say to avoid lunchmeat, soft cheeses like brie, raw or undercooked animal protiens. I ate lunchmeat sandwiches like they were going out of style with my first, back in 1996 they didn't know it was bad. By the time of my second, in 2000, they were saying no lunchmeat, so I stopped. But I craved tuna melts. Ate 1 or 2 a day. Now, they say mercury in fish causes autism. But she is a healthy 7 year old girl. See what I mean?

Be really good to yourself and if you can, let go of the guilt. The emotional mood swings will last longer, don't be surprised if they come and go without warning. The ladies here are very supportive, so if you need to rant and vent, come here. Best of luck.

My first 3 pregnancies ended in m/c. I was also diagnosed with PCOS before we started trying so thought we were in for a long haul to even fall pregnant. I fell pregnant first try everytime, I just kept miscarrying and couldn't get any answers which is the hardest part.
I fell pregnant last year while being on the pill and I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I then fell pregnant again while on the pill 3 months after I had her and am currently 19 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby who will be born a year after my daughter.
So please don't give up hope if you'd like another baby, PCOS is not a condition that will definetly make you infertile, it can just make it harder, or in my case I actually fall pregnant easier than most women obviously.
I blamed myself for everything I did or didn't do during my first 3 pregnancies, but the truth is I haven't done anything different for the two after that. I highly doubt you caused this in any way, especially with diet.