Sorry to sook but..

I feel like I'm going insane already! I am snapping at my daughters and my tolerance level is barely existent. I feel horrible and tired.

I suffered Pre and post natal depression in the past and don't want to go down that road again. :(

If it makes you feel any better I suffered huge mood swings in my first tri but I'm really stable now. I was constantly cracking it at my DF over nothing and my DstepD was even irritating me when normally she doesn't. I'm almost 18 weeks now and I'm nothing like that now, just tearful at times but that's easier to deal with.

No, you're not sooking! Half the battle is recognizing the patterns of thought and behavior you don't want to continue, and that's really hard. Good for you. Its really easy when depressed to isolate yourself an give in to the depression, which creates a vicious cycle. You can do something about it.

How far along are you? Is your partner in the picture? How old are your daughters (like, are they old enough to be able to do some things for themselves/understand to let you alone sometimes?)? What is your diet like, and do you exercise regularly?

That last one is really really important- I have literally walked myself out of depression before. If you make yourself get up and walk/work out/do some yoga/ anything that raises a sweat every day, or start off a few days a week, you'll be absolutely amazed how much better you feel. Diet is really important too, try to avoid stuff with lots of bad fat/empty calories/preservatives- that is, junk. Diet and exercise will help your body feel better, too.

Also, ask yourself why you feel so horrible and tired. If you just do, well, that's completely understandable- you have a family to take care of and you're pregnant. Allow yourself to rest when you need to- its best for you and the baby. If there are other reasons, try to get to the root of them, and address them. That goes a long way toward making you feel better, more in control.

I grew up with a mother who (from the kids' pov) constantly oscillated between lashing out unreasonably and closeting herself in her room. She justified (and still does) her actions by blaming depression, and by saying we were always trying her patience, that she didn't have that much tolerance, etc. The older I get and the more experience I have fighting depression myself, the less I see this as an acceptable excuse. I don't know your situation at all, I'm just trying to help you see from the girls' pov maybe. And besides, you're a good mum because you don't want to be that way and are trying to do something about it.

I hope you keep posting, there's so much good stuff here and lovely caring people.

Hi and thanks for replying.

I'm only a little over 5 weeks along and while my partner is in the picture... he doesn't know yet. He works away and I don't want to tell him over the phone. :(

My daughters are old enough to understand that I need a moment etc... but they don't know I'm Pg yet.

Diet is relatively good and I walk a bit but will be walking more now that school has started again.

I think the real reason I'm feeling like this is because I want to tell my partner.. I want to share this with him and it's already so hard that he works away... I guess I'm not used to feeling so tired either.

I've been like your mother before... not to that degree but I can see where I have been irrational in the past and I definitely don't want to be going there again.

Thankyou for listening... I'm on the phone to DP now... so want to tell him... but I can't bear to not see the look on his face.

Hehe - Ah, the joys of pregnancy!

My poor DH never knows how I'm going to react next! I just lose my head at any given moment.

I'm sure your daughters will understand - And at least you are aware of the way you are acting, which means you can take a little more effort to try and keep it under control when it happens.

Hope the mood swings slow down for you soon though!

Its funny how I can be happy one second, and then start to feel down over the littlest thing and then go to the crying moment.

Last week this person hit my car in carpark and then they just walked away, I had to rush due to doctors to have pap but I was so angry. When I got to doctor my 2 year old wanted to have big cry over nothing and by the time I got into the doctor's room - I just sat and cried. After that I was fine like nothing happened.

My husband has been getting my blunt replies and Ive been getting into the car just screaming at myself (this helped). I find that if i just let go of the feeling and go along with it, cry, scream, etc I feel better. Its all the hormones, hormones are blamed for EVERYTHING when your pregnant.