Weaning four month old off wrap, dummy and rocking?!

Hello, our 4 month old is a very hyped-up happy little boy! Problem is, he''s fought sleep from the start, always too busy looking around at everything and fighting off his heavy eyelids with tears till the very bitter end! As a result, we took to wrapping him tightly, rocking him, singing and using the dummy - all at once! It works like a dream, within about ten minutes he's asleep - but now we've created two problems for ourselves that I need advice on please!

1. Since he falls asleep in my arms, he often wakes up lately after 10-15 mins, when he realises he's in his cot and not in my arms and he then starts crying.... and so the whole situation starts over again! I've tried putting him down when he's nearly asleep to avoid this happening, but his eyes spring open every time!!

2. The wrap and dummy are becoming a bit of a problem as the weather is just too hot for a wrap and when his dummy falls out he'll inevitably wake up at some point in the night to realise this and cry for the dummy and then be fully awake!

I've tried unwrapping him and his hands are too busy so he doesn't sleep - and they also knock the dummy out so as soon as the wrap goes the dummy will have to go too, I guess.

I don't want to just leave him cry and I'd love some advice on how to teach him to fall asleep by himself with no rocking/wrapping/dummy!

Thanks

Sorry no advice here, still wrapping my almost 5 month old but I'll be watching this thread to see what the other ladies have to say. I agree, it is too hot to be wrapping them so I'd love to know how to help him learn to sleep with his arms out.

Springxx

I'm not sure if this will work but this is what my best friend (she has four kids, two sets of twins) and I did with our bubs. We started by wrapping them looser and with one arm out. If bub has a dummy, you're going to have to get used to popping it back in, don't know any solution for that until they are old enough to put it in and out themselves.

Once they've adjusted to one arm out, then take the other out but still wrap them under their arms. Once they've adjusted to this, gradually loosen the wrap and then get rid of it all together. In our case, we always replaced the wrap with a sleeping bag (I weaned DD off the wrap at about 6 months so it was winter then).

Be prepared for a bit of an adjustment period, but if they're ready, they should adjust quite quickly.

I must say though that I think 4 months is a bit young to stop wrapping, just my opinion though!!

If you're going to do all three at once, I'd say you'll be in for a rough few days at least because you're essentially removing all of his sleep cues at once. If it were me, I'd get rid of the dummy first, then work on the rocking to sleep, then the wrap. If you're worried about the heat, just strip him down to his nappy and wrap him with no blankets/sheets on top.

Good luck with it, I hope it's easier than you're anticipating!!

Nice to know I'm not alone! Thank you!

what is the fabric your wrapping baby in? I was wrapping my DD in flannalette (sp?) baby wraps and i realised as summer is upon us it was way too hot for her. So i bought some muslin wraps (cheese cloth type material ) - fabric that can breath.....whilst she doesnt stay perfectly wrapped all night, it defn gives her a sense of security....
When i begin to wrap my little girl, she defn senses its bed time....your little person needs some cues that 'hey, its time to go to sleep now'....maybe hes overtired, its too late for him to settle himself to sleep.THere is a window of opportunity so to speak for babies, when they are 'looking' tired...they give out plenty of signs...maybe try wrapping him with dummy when these tired signs begin.......i dont really know what else to say.
I hope you work it out....

Yep, I forgot to say that mbear, muslin or cheesecloth or even a light cotton wrap are best for summer.

Willow thanks for the tips regarding weaning them off the wrap. I'm going to give it another month or two and start DS on this. Mum is already sewing the sleeping bags in preparation.

Thanks Willow for the advice, it's nice to hear that you think 4 months is a bit too young, I think half the reason I'm trying to get DS off the wrap is that none of the other babies around our area his age use a wrap anymore so I've somehow been led to believe that he too, should get rid of his! When really, he could stay happily wrapped up till 6 months! It's one of the 'miracle wraps' - a brilliant wrap made out of cotton jersey. I've figured out a way to expose his chest for when it gets hot so that's helping too.

Thanks for the tips.

Hey Skye

It's tricky knowing what to do isn't it! We were the same as you, then at 6 months we decided to get rid of the dummy and wrap (like you we thought it was too hot, even with a light wrap, and then if she had her arms free when she wasn't wrapped then DD would whack her dummy out, cry etc).

It took us probably 2 weeks of having a tough time getting her down her sleeps while unwrapped, with no dummy. And even over the weeks following that, she still had a few hassles getting to sleep but these times became less and less frequent. And now, I have to say it's great not having to use a dummy or a wrap.

We aren't into letting DD cry either so we wanted a gentle approach to weaning her off the dummy and wrap. Things we did were:

-get her to have some/occassional day sleeps in the pram (so getting her used to going to sleep without sucking, and using less and less rocking each time).
-Wrapping her slightly differently, as in letting her have one arm bent and positioned across her chest rather then being pinned down beside her (sorry- difficult to describe!), then looser and looser until she would pop her arm out.
-Putting a toy in her cot to grab- to occupy her hands and take her focus off rubbing her eyes while going to sleep.
-Another thing we did is when she wouldn't settle with just patting her in bed, (which I'm sure everyone would disapprove of this!) was- if she got too upset with her arms out (and was missing the dummy) then I would give her a little feed/suck, then pop her back in bed after a few mins (while she was still awake but relaxed) and pat her. Then if she got distressed again after a few mins, I would give her another tiny suck, then keep doing this (putting her in then feeding her very briefly if she was too distressed) until she settled in the cot with a gentle pat and went to sleep. I know people would be horrified with letting her comfort suck like that! hehe, but it honestly worked really well. It just seemed to help her unwind gradually and get used to the idea that she was going into her cot to sleep, but mummy was still there). This is just what worked for us! And it didn't turn her into always wanting booby to go to sleep either like everyone would say!

I do believe though, that some bubs may not be ready to give up the dummy or wrap this early and that it needs to be the right time for them. We always said that if it was too much of a drama to wean her then we would stop and try again a few months down the track, but it was ok in the end.

Best of luck! Don't be worried to keep using them even though others aren't.

Thanks Lee, that's really good advice. Had a shocking night last night,I think we'll have to start weaning him off the dummy asap (and as you say if he's too young we'll just try again down the track). Your tips are so appreciated, thanks.

The dummy is not that much of a problem. You can buy dummy chain's from nuk that are not choking hazards. At 4 months they are still only very little, and if you are going to remove a comfort IMO you need to replace it with something else which is hard to do at that age. So maybe don't wean from anything just yet?

Sorry, I can't help with the dummy as DD wouldn't have one, but we kept wrapping til DD was about 10 months! And now, she still has the wrap in bed with her to cuddle should she want to.
We transitioned to a sleeping bag - started off putting her in the bag lying on top of the wrap. Then folded the wrap over each arm IYKWIM. She was able to get her hands out after a while, and now when she lies in her cot on top of the wrap she picks up either side of it herself to hold!

Skye, you are doing a great job with your son.

I agree that you should do what you feel is right for you and your baby and try not to worry about what other babies are doing as they are all so different.

With my DD she didn't have a dummy so no suggestions, sorry. 3 months they probably do need some comfort, my dd sticks two fingers in her mouth, which I have no idea about stopping later on!!

With the wrap I started wrapping under the arms around 3 months through the day so that she started getting used to not being wrapped and I am a sleeping bag fan having used grobags and no blankets with my son until he moved to a 'big bed'. I used to still wrap at night in the thinnest cotton material I could find and just had my mum sew a hem around the edges. Gradually I stopped wrapping at night and went to the sleeping bag.

Even now, (which some people probably frown at) my dd needs something to hold and rub on her face so I put the wrap over her (like a blanket) and she knows it is time to go to sleep. I also found patting works for the comfort if they are not too upset and think it is a great thing for them to use as comfort because it will continue to work as they get older (my 3 yo sometimes asks to be patted to go to sleep).

Goodluck and hope some of the great advice on this thread works for you.

Have you tried cotton wraps? i had them with my son and even tho it was hot weather at night he was only in a singlet and nappy and his wrap. and he was fine and happily sleeping

On the dummy sidei cant help as my bubbs didnt have one. but maybe 4 mths is a bit young tog et rid of a comfort thing....maybe try when you're bubbs is a bit older..

you just do whatever works for you and you're bubbs...

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I have no advice for you, sorry, but just wanted to offer support. :hug: My DS still does these things a little (except never liked being wrapped), but still uses his dummy to go to sleep and sometimes just wants to sleep in my arms. I have found that if he does wake up after I put him down, I can often rock him or hold his hand and he will go back to sleep. Just wants to know I'm there if he wants me.

So, as i said, no advice, but they do seem to go through phases and hopefully your DS will be OK with sleeping in his cot again soon.

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