Single Mum- relieved but scared
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to being single, let alone single parenting! i was with bubs father for 3 years. It took me along time to realsie i was in an emotionally abusive relationship. When we first got together (i didnt know at the time) he was addicted to alot of different drugs, i ddidnt actually find out until many months down the track and was in too deep. it's so hard trying to change a person who has had these habits all along, in the end he stopped taking drugs- but fell back onto alcohol instead. There were so many times i wanted to leave, but felt guilty- and felt like if i were to leave him, he would wreck his life- go back onto the drugs etc, wind up in jail or dead. It took me 3 years to realise he was wrecking mine, and that now with bub (whose now 6 months old) i couldnt let him wreck hers to. I had no control over anything- he had all the money (which he uusually spent on alcohol) i had my fortnightly payment from centrelink ($300) which i had to buy grocerys, nappys and pay half the rent. He said wen i could go out, he hated all my friends and even wanted to stop me seeing my sister.
i woke up to all this wen bub was 3 months- he was never there- always out drinking and when he was there i wished he wasnt. all of my friends and family had been tryin to tell me this, but its so hard to see when u dont want it to be like that- i was pretending to everyone else- i fooled myself. i mad eup so many excuses for him, his absences and behaviour- i think i started to believe them. Getting out wasnt easy- threats, crying, guilt trips (which are still ongoing) but i managed to do so with the support of my sister and friends (you really know who ur friends are when u hadnt been able to see them in so long, and they r still there 4 u in a time that :doh:u need them). so nw im starting new, with a little bub, just trying to pick up the pieces- whre to go from here? i feel scared, relieved , guilty and confused but am going to be strong 4 bub.
