three years today...

i've been sitting here thinking - today it's three years since we started our TTC journey. in that time we've been through so much, lost so much in our three tiny angels, learned alot - but really, we're in the same place we were back then. we knew we had problems (well, we knew that *I* have problems) and that it would take some extra help to get us over the line - but i guess i was more than a little naive - i really didn't think it would take this long

just feeling really flat at the moment - three years is a long time to feel like you've not moved forward...

:hug: BG, your journey is taking a while.

I'm sure there's plenty of positive anecdotes you could draw from, but mostly it's just *****ty that two ppl who love each other and want a baby so desperately can't do it RIGHT NOW!

BG, i'm sorry that it is taking you so long to get what you so desperately want. I always feel guilty about my good fortune when I hear other stories of difficulties - life just isn't fair sometimes. If only the entities that control the universe would treat us with the equality that we demand from our people, government etc. I've got all fingers and toes crossed that 2008 is YOUR year. :hug:

BG :hugs:

It's every woman's birth right to be able to conceive, carry & deliver a baby... I really hope it happens soon for you.... it's a long time to wait isn't it.... :hugs: you shouldn't have to wait this long.....imagine how 'extra special' that moment will be for you when you find out your pregnant and when you hold that little baby in your arms for the first time.... and it will happen.

:hug: BG and wishing like mad that THIS is your year.

I know just how you feel - it has been 2.5 years for us TTC our 2nd. Some days I think no matter what we seem to do it will not happen. Then other days, I believe it will - but I am sick of waiting.

It hurts, really hurts some days. I too, like you, cannot really move forward in my life until this happens. Yes, I may already have one gorgeous child, but it does not make it easier as I want so much for him to have a sibling...

I really DO wish this is YOUR year. WE must believe. And time is on your side.

Hey BG

My heart really aches for you chickie...it's been such a tough journey for you guys.

I know we were about to give up after 3 years, it just didn't feel like it was going to happen...but then a miracle did.

May your miracle be this year!!!

And I don't know if this helps, but I always say to myself "that it is always the darkest just before dawn"...just when you think you can't do this anymore, a glimmer of light appears.

May this year be your dawn!

Three years eh? Bet you've loved every moment. NOT!

Picture this, you're dropped off on some boring, hilly, bumpy, irritating road in the middle of nowhere. You have to walk back. You're tired, annoyed, frustrated and really can't be stuffed, especially when you see cars whizzing by you on the way to the destination.

But you know, if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, again and again and again, eventually you will reach the end of the road. And the end may be just around the next corner.

:)

PS. It might be a boring, hilly, bumpy, irritating road, but try and enjoy the scenery on the way, anyway. ;)

Big hugs my love - this has been a challenge for you I know. You know something - you are not the same person you were back then. The struggle, your blessed angels, the parts of you that this situation helped to grow strong. These are all the gifts of this challenge.
I can only imagine how hard it is to watch those "cars" as Slyder analogised whizz past... I know a little of it though. The goodbyes and the sheer pain of it do make us stronger, more compassionate. You know what??? When that time comes that YOU hold that baby in your arms - you will truly know the meaning of miracle. Believe my love. Keep believing. Your time will come and we will all be here cheering you on.
For now I am sending you lots of love and strength. :hug:

There is nothing that I can say that others haven't (Slyder was really in touch with his feminine side :) ) but just imagine how good the destination is going to be once you get there :hugs:

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Slyder was really in touch with his feminine side :)

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I was wasn't I? Even I think I am cool at the moment ;) Anyway hope the creative writing helps you, BG.

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I was wasn't I? Even I think I am cool at the moment ;) Anyway hope the creative writing helps you, BG.

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very much so Slyder!

thanks everyone for your replies - this journey has certainly changed me (mostly for the better :p ) - but we're surviving - and as a couple, we're stronger than ever - i guess it's pretty clear that DH has been holding my hand on this long journey - and we've both been enjoying the scenery along the way!



all that said - i want it to be tomorrow already - then it won't be three years anymore!!

Big hugs to you to BG. You have a dream, keep believing and you will get there. It has been 4 years since we started TTC including losing our precious son Cooper but we finally brought our miracle Ethan home.................I hope that you can bring a miracle home too one day very very soon. Big big hugs babe :hug:

Oh BG - here I was feeling sorry for myself these past few days and there you are going through so much more! :hugs: I don't know what to say other than I agree with Slyder, we just have to keep finding the strength to lift that foot up and place it ahead of the last one. It is when we start going sideways or backwards that I have the real difficulty! Take care of yourself hun, and keep walking that journey.

xxxx

thanks so much for your kind words everyone

it's now no longer three years, and i'm coping better - i think February is just far too hard for me - such good things (getting together with DH, wedding anniv, valentines day) and bad things (loss of two grandparents, anniv of starting ttc) - next feb will be different - i'll have a bubba (or two) to distract me (fingers crossed)

Love your positive thinking! :hug: You WILL have a bubba next Feb - I have everything crossed for you :pray:

slyder said it best. The road does feel endless when you can't see the end. And three years walking it is a long time. But it's three years closer to the end too. I pray it's round the corner, just coz you deserve it. :)

Although you might sometimes feel you have not moved foward in the last 3 years, you really have come a long way. You know your own self better and the docs are getting a better picture every day too. And you know for sure that your relationship with DH has strengthened, and once those arms of yours are filled with children you will know how special they really are, after the winding, bumpy road you took to get there.
I :pray: that this is your year.
Jo