gentle settling probs...

Hi everyone

I am having probs with my 4 1/2 month old son, who (thankfully) has been a really good sleeper up until now. I recently made the transition from bassinette to cot...and I totally underestimated the effect my few little rocks of the bassinette that sent him off to blissful 2-3 hr day sleeps and sleeping through the night!!!

My main question is this: I have read that people say pat, feed,rock or whatever until the bub falls asleep, but my prob is as soon as he hits the mattress in his near sleep state after a b/f he starts screaming and patting/rocking/ssshhhing does absolutely nothing, so I have resorted to bouncing on a fitball while holding him (!!), which I think is making him more reliant on me and on more extreme rocking and bouncing to get to sleep...a bit of a vicious cycle I think!!! I don't want to leave him to cry, and he is still tired when he wakes after about 40 mins in the day(I read that is a sleep cycle) but can't get back to sleep.

He has also reverted to night waking 2x after sleeping through since 9 weeks old (he is now 18 wks).

arrgh. so are you supposed to pat them even when they are screaming? what would be the gentle approach while still encouraging self-settling?

thanks gals. I can't believe how different two babies can be!!!