Question re: 'science of parenting'

For those using this book as a guide (which I am) I need some help with the sleep issue. DD BFs to sleep and then gets put into her cot. Day sleeps are about an hour give or take. Night times are the problem with her waking sometimes every hour. I'm finding it really hard and want to teach her to be able to re-settle without having a boob fix (which sends her straight back off) but when I try to settle her in her cot - patting etc - she goes into hysterics. It's not just a grizzle that I can let go, it really seems like a high-stress level cry which I don't want her doing of course. She is 8m and won't take a dummy, though she has a blankie that she sleeps with. Does anyone have any ideas about how to go about the whole thing without stressing her out? She has a regular routine and bedtime (6-7pm)

Have you tried co-sleeping part of the night? We settle our bubs in their cots to start off with then when they wake just bring them in with us. I have found that as they grow older the time they need to be brought in gets later and later until often they sleep right through in their own cots until morning.

I have the Sci of Parenting book. It's a great read. Advocates what comes natural to child rearing... love it. I think babies, in nature, are designed to sleep close to mum and dad. I know a lot of dad's don't like it but they are also often not the ones having to get up 10 times a night to resettle. Our nursery is right across the hall so that our toddler can see us... I think that helps. At 8m he would have woken at about 3am for a quick feed with me and we both would have gone back to sleep in our bed. Sometimes I would carefully then return him back into his own cot (but wait a good 15 minutes until they are in deep sleep) if I really needed my space, but otherwise he just stayed with us. In winter I know that co-sleeping is definitely preferable to being up during a cold night.

i agree with bath on the co-sleeping thing. i know it's not for everyone but i find it fantastic. we have ds's cot in our room and he starts in there, then when he wakes i usually feed him back to sleep in bed with us. he usually wakes twice between 9pm and 9am. it doesn't really bother me..and we love all waking up together in the morning the 3 of us. like i said- not suitable for everyone but it works for us.

i love 'the science of parenting' as well. i keep going back and refering to it. it's a great read. :)

We read the No Cry Sleep Solution book... but at the end of the day we just thought stuff it. Your bub's only young... far too young to be sleeping through anyway.

with both our bubs, they've ended up sleeping with us and feeding while i'm lying down. I end up falling asleep, they end up falling asleep... everyones happy, and no tired eyes in the morning :)

Thanks, yes we have tried co-sleeping but neither of us really likes it unfortunatley. She will fall asleep that way but we both just want our own space after a while and neither of us sleeps well. Her cot is right beside the bed and getting up to feed her isn't really a problem as she goes straight back to sleep but when it happens hourly during the night, I start to struggle during the day and I know it's not good for her either. :wall: Oh well, I guess I will just keep on keeping on as we all do. Maybe a bit of :pray: :)

have you got some support during the day? maybe they could take bub and you could catch a few winks...

Julian used to wake every 2 hours on the dot... it will pass

Have you tried giving her a cuddle/rocking her (rather than settling her in the cot). Sometimes with DS, I need to settle him in my arms, then put him back into the cot once calm - then do patting/forehead stroking if necessary.

It sounds like she is not sleeping longer than one sleep cycle (40mins) - ie. she is not self-settling into a second cycle. You may need to teach her some self-settling techniques. Rather than BF'ing her to sleep, have you tried putting her in the cot to fall asleep herself? I have started doing this with DS & it has worked a treat. First, he started to fall asleep by himself, but was still unable to re-settle when he woke up. Now he is able to do both - put himself to sleep (with some help! - patting, putting in a dummy, etc) & resettle after waking up (sometimes with help, sometimes by himself). Here is a thread about what I've tried with DS.

Also, have you tried offering water, rather than boob, at night?

i love the research done by Dr James McKenna on babies and sleep. They run a mother/baby sleep lab at Notre Dame University in the USA. there's a couple of really good lectures online which outline why bubs don't sleep.

At the end of the day, I do whatever works for us and whatever gives everyone sleep.

I'm reading "no cry sleep solutions" at the moment, and one suggestion for getting longer naps is to wait for baby to get to the waking up point ( in your case about an hour after last feed) and BEFORE bubs is fully awake, resettle baby via rocking or whatever else works that isn't feeding. she says it takes about a week before bubs is used to longer sleeps. this advice was for naps during the day but might work at night too

at least its something different to try.

Has she ever gone to sleep without being fed to sleep? DS stopped feeding to sleep (feeding to sleep was never consistent, even from birth, but he stopped completely at about 9m) so we had to work on a new tactic, we started rocking in arms and patting, then we slowly moved to rocking/patting in the bed, now he goes down awake and is patted to sleep. He has other associations (or should have!) such as the routine and his sleep CD, but just needs patting off. He has started to re-settle pretty well sometimes, but other times he needs patting. I'd love for him to feed to sleep every time and us co-sleep! So much easier.