Aggghhh! VBAC or maternal-assisted c-section
If you asked me yesterday I would have told you that I WILL BE going public next time and I WILL BE having a VBAC - no ifs, ands or buts about it!
However I'm starting to think about EVERYTHING again.
With DD last september I had an elective CS at 38 weeks due to PE and her head not being engaged. The anaesthetist could not get the EPI in so I had to have a general. (the first 4 attempts he kept hitting bone - on the 5th attempt he got it in but i only started to go numb down one side)
I felt completely robbed of a birth experience - no labour, didn't see her being born, didn't hear her first cry, didn't meet her til she was 1.5 hours old.
This started to affect me really badly in the weeks following the birth so I decided to embark on a mission to try to ensure I have a more positive empowering birth experience next time.
I spoke to my OB about my feelings and she told me that she was open to the idea of me having a VBAC but she said she feels I'll probably need another caesar. But she agreed that if I DO need another caesar she will allow me to have a maternal-assisted caesarean (where I can reach down and pull bub onto my chest after she makes the incision and delivers the head and shoulders) and she will allow skin to skin contact with bub whilst I'm still in theatre and whilst I'm in recovery.
I really want a vaginal birth though and I feel that I'd have a much greater chance at having a VBAC if I went through the public system and our local VBAC friendly public hospital. I know the proof is in the statistics.
But what happens if I go public and I DO end up needing another caesar? I will miss out on the Maternal-assisted CS option.
In saying that though, there is always the chance that the Epi wont work properly again and I'll need another general. Has anyone else had an experience where the epi/spinal didn't work properly but then they were able to get it to work properly in subsequent births?
I'm soooo confused, I don't know what to do! I'd love to hear any comments suggestions or idea's. I feel that if I can have a positive birth experience next time it will help me heal.