Dazed and confused.... :(

Hello all, this is as much me venting my frustration as a plea for some advice. I had an appointment with my GP this morning to confirm my pregnancy and find out what happens next. I ended up with a locum (retired) who when I told him I had a positive home preg test and needed it to be confirmed, said that GPs nowadays didn't really take much of a role in pregnancy and if I had a positive home test then he was quite happy that i was pregnant. He then said he owuld write to the midwife. And where would I like to give birth of the two local hospitals? - Seriously how on earth would I know??? I've never been pregnant before!!!! He gave me an estimated due date - which given my cycles are so irregular could be quite a long way out (but he didnt ask about any of that), and that was my whole appointment.

I went back to the reception desk and he asked the receptionist how long it takes to get an appointment with the midwife and she told me it would not be until 16-18 weeks although she would write to me before that to make contact. No-one seemed sure about whether I would have a 12 week scan but told me I could get a private early scan if I wanted and someone would call me later in the day to discuss these options.

I really feel confused by the whole thing, I have no idea whats happening, when things are supposed to happen or what my options are or anything. And because this is the first time i've been pregnant I don't know what i need to ask. I spent a good 15 minutes when I got home crying down the phone to my poor DH and I am still bursting into tears every 5 minutes (as much to do with hormones as anything else I suspect). I also feel stupid for not demanding more information. Usually I'm really good at asking sensible questions of doctors but even tho I wasn't happy with the "service" I got, I didn't say anything.

Is this kind of thinkg normal?? I know different parts of the country (I'm in the UK) have different procedures but to not see the midwife til half way through the pregnancy and to not even have the doctor do a test to confirm I'm pregnant????

Would welcome some advice and/or comments - and some chocolate if anyone has some :)
Julia

hello!

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy! The first thing I would do is make an appointment with another more caring GP asap. Could any of your family or friends recommend a GP who is good with ante-natal care? Also, as your cycles are irregular it's probably a good idea to tell your GP this and request a dating scan so that you know exactly when you are due. Dating scans are usually done at around 7 to 8 weeks. The earlier they are done the more accurate they are.

So sorry to hear you have been :cry:. It's probably a combination of frustration and hormones, you poor thing.
I hope you can get a hold of a nice friendly GP soon & best of luck with your pegnancy :)

Take care

Tamara

awww hun :hugs:

take it easy ... you need a better doctor than that ... dont settle for anything less ...

if i was unsure i would call the antenatal clinic at the hosp. and ask what the prodeures are .. explain what the doctor said to you and that tis is you 1st time and need ansswers ...

if you dont ask you will never know and that can be frustrating ...

good luck ... i hope you get better treatment soon

Hi Julia,

I was pregnant the first time in the UK - and I understand how you feel. I remember going into the surgery one day a few weeks after I had seen a GP to ask what to do about antenatal care - and they looked at me like I had about 3 heads. Turns out, once you visit the GP and they inform the midwife, the whole thing happens pretty much automatically. This was in Cambridge and I think I first saw the midwife at about 12 weeks.

I understand how you feel as sometimes GPs and midwives thoughtlessly assume you have the same knowledge of the system that they do.

If you are interested in a 12 week scan, perhaps you could ring and speak to the midwife directly and ask to discuss it with her.

As for confirming your pregnancy, the home tests are as accurate as the GPs, so that's why they no longer do them. You are pregnant - trust your self. And due dates are always an estimate anyway. Your baby will know when it is ready to come. Check out some UK sites to ask about the hospitals close to you. Perhaps people will share their experiences with you.

Cara

PS I cried after many of my antenatal appointments - mostly because I felt like just a number in the system and that no one was treating me as anyone special. It helps to remember that for some, this is just a job they do and that being pregnant is a normal everyday part of life. Read anything by Sheila Kitzinger - the woman is awesome!

Yeh, my first thought was see another GP for sure :rolleyes:... It sound very wrong to not have any care in all that time :doh:

... What a terrible & heartless GP he is :(

This is meant to be an exciting time for you & especially stress-free :)

You make another GP appt, forget about that silly other GP ... AND you get on & absolutely ENJOY your beautiful pregnancy journey :dance:

By the way, ... "CONGRATULATIONS" FROM US IN AUSSIE-LAND :happyforyou:

Hey guys

Thanks for the advice! I am definately starting to feel a bit better. I think I am going to call the hospital and ask to speak to a midwife, since the GPs surgery seemed to have no info! Once I at least know what to expect I think I will be fine :)

xxx

yeah u need to see a new gp. I had an appointment to see my midwife at 5 weeks. Hun dont stress, the doctors have to do what you want, it is YOUR baby!!!

Take care and CONGRATS!!! xox

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I think when you get old retirement age GPs they've had enough and just want you in and out of their office. I would try to find a GP that is going to treat you with the respect and care that you deserve.

I didn't get a blood test or anything at the doctors - I was told that the HPT are just so accurate now that they don't need to do them unless they suspect their could be problems, but I think you can demand one if you really want to know your HCG levels. I also didn't have a scan until 12 weeks where they dated the pregnancy so don't stress if you don't get one earlier. But the 12 week one is good especially if you want to combine it with the nuchal translucency test for chromasomal abnormality (Downs, etc).

Good luck, but don't be afraid to go back to another GP - and not mention the HPT if you feel you want the doctors confirmation!

I wish you the very best of a Happy and Healthy pregnancy.