Ectopic pregnancy and loss

Hi everyone. My thoughts and wishes to all of you who have experienced a loss. I just have too. Two weeks ago I had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. I lost my right tube, discovered my left tube is badly damaged and my Dr recommended we go now to IVF, given that I turn 35 in a few months. It was a huge shock. I had just started coming to terms with thinking I had miscarried at 9 weeks, after a couple of weeks of not knowing whether I was going to keep the baby or not. I had to have a D&C and that revealed no placental material, which meant I was sent back in for more tests as they suspected an ectopic pregnancy. My emotional rollercoaster continued. Then the surgery etc. I felt so devastated and now two weeks on, I am in a better state and healing physically, but still very raw and up and down. I am sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes still shocked, sometimes confused.:cry: I feel alone a lot, like others don't understand and returning to work has been a challenge. This site is a really big help. Just connecting with others who really do understand! I just posted in the LTTC/AC section too and the support straight away has been so great.
My husband and I are now trying to be positive and focus on the next step for us. But I know this will take time. Anyway....I just wanted to share on here. :)

Hi Possums, I am so sorry to hear of your recent loss :hug:. It must have been a terrifying and sad time for you. I am sure you will find BB to be a very supportive place to be.

I wish you all the very best in your new TTC chapter.

Possums: Wow, you have had a lot of news to take in and understand. No wonder you feel in a state of shock. You have come to the right place. Take care sweetie :hugs:

Lv Spring

Hi Possums,
I am sorry for what you have been through, it must be really tough. There are always plenty of supportive people here willing to listen and give advce. I hope that you find the support that you need here. Take care.:hugs:

I'm so sorry for your loss...the grief you are feeling for the loss of your baby and the grief of being confronted with IVF is huge...be kind to yourself and know you're no alone...we're all here for you xxx

Thanks everyone for your really kind words. It's nice knowing you are out there. :)

Hi sweetie,

I am ever so very sorry for your loss... I had a ruptured ectopic and I lost my right tube... I understand how scary that must have been for you :hugs: Mine happened so very quickly too... Please give yourself time to heal... I too got so angry/sad/upset/rage ... wishing you and your DH all the best on your journey xxx

Thank you. I hope one day I will celebrating good news on here :pray: and we will have a little one of our own.

Possums--Though I've never had an ectopic pregnancy, the pain of losing a child is the same. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Glad you found bb, and hope it's helpful in helping you cope. That's why we're all here--we all feel and understand your pain. Be kind to yourself right now and give yourself time to heal. You're in my prayers....

Thank you so much. I think the hardest thing has been coping with the loss of the baby and the apparent loss of our chances of conceiving naturally and being referred to IVF, and of course healing from surgery at the same time. I am getting better bit by bit and trying hard to be positive.
I do however feel like everything in my life right now is defined by this, revolves around this experience. I don't feel happy, i feel flat and sad. I find it hard because I am a control freak and yet am now totally out of control of so many factors and scared of what IVF will involve.
Anyway, will keep moving forward and trying to be optimisitic.
Thanks again for the support. I know so many others on here have suffered loss also.

Possums sweety, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little baby.

I too had an ectopic pg in the right tube at 9wks. My tube was also removed. It was very difficult and confusing time. I was very angry and totally guted, firstly by the loss of my precious baby and secondly at the loss of part of me that I needed to get pg again. It took me a long time to deal with the grief, hurt and emptiness. But through my good gal pals at BB, lots of faith and hope, I kept going. I went to a Naturopath and kept thinking positive thoughts. I ended up pg again (one early loss in between) and when I went for an early ultrasound I asked which side I had ovulated from, the sonographer and specialist were suprised to find out my RIGHT ovary was responsible for the release of the egg that resulted in my daughter!! ALthough I had no tube, my body worked around that and the egg found its way into my womb.

I want to wish you all the very best for your IVF journey, and I also want to tell you that you should perhaps just investigate some complementary therapies that will help optimise your chances whilst doing IVF.

Give yourself time to grieve my sweety, but dont loose sight of the bigger picture. And remember that your little angel baby will always be with you.

Hugs and baby blessings,
Lisa

Thanks for your advice and support. I am so thrilled for you that you had success, and from the right ovary! I can imagine your joy and relief.
And yes, I do see a naturopath and also have acupuncture- might as well get help from as many avenues as possible!

Hi Possums

I am so sorry to read that you have had an ectopic, lost your precious baby and your tube, it is a truly devastating experience.

I had an Ectopic in January 2005, it was originally misdiagnosed as a blighted ovum, i had a d/c and then a couple of days later another scan to reveal my little baby in my right tube. Sadly my baby was still alive and we heard it's heartbeat on the scan, i was sent to hospital and my tube ruptured shortly before theatre. I was 9w2d. In September 2004, I had a missed m/c as well. I lost my right tube and was quite sick.

I remember feeling just awful, grief stricken, guilty, sad and just unable to cope with minor things. Going back to work was horrendous, as i went back when i should have been starting mat leave for my the baby i m/c.

I also found that a lot of people just didnt understand, people wouldnt talk to me about the ectopic and they avoided me and said they were walking on eggshells around me.....to the point i got told to snap out of it.....I tried some counselling with some of the support groups available, but i felt i didnt fit in. I then had one/one counselling.....and it helped a lot.

It took a lot of time to start feeling better both emotionally and physically and reflecting back i think you can only take it day by day.

I started TTC 4m after the EP and i now have a gorgeous adorable almost 2 year old.........conceived with one tube. I already had 2 other children

I send you lots of support and hope that before too long you are holding your precious baby.

Bendos

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :(

I've just been through similar, was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy last week (good friday :() and since then it's been pretty horrible.
They had to decide whether to opt for surgery or methotrexate.

In the end, they went with the medical option and I was given a shot of methotrexate.

To my surprise, it worked quite quickly and right now my levels have dropped quite substantially.

It's still taking some getting used to but I'm glad it could soon be all over and I could get some time back to deal with all of this.

Dragie89--I'm truly sorry for your loss! While nothing will make you feel better right now, it's amazing how these women can quickly make you feel like you're part of their family. I'm pretty new to this site, and I can't tell you in words how much it has helped me to have the ability to talk to these women who are feeling the same pain that I am right now. Even when they aren't feeling that positive about their own situation, everyone's always very positive towards you and your situation. It helps so much that they know exactly what you're saying, even when you don't or can't put it into words. I hope your stay here is brief! Be kind to yourself right now and give yourself the time it takes to heal. We're all there with you!