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Can someone please tell me that this waking up 45 mins into sleep and crying does END?? It has been going on for about a month (DD is 3.5 months) and not slowing up at all. We manage it and know all about waking out of a sleep cycle and people say "it's just a phase" etc etc but WHEN will it stop? I read on one site it is most common between 8-16 weeks so I am hoping that is the case!
Hi Deidre
It's hard isn't it!
Do you mean she is doing it just for day sleeps?
My DD is 10 months and she still only sleeps for 40 mins at a time for her day sleeps..probably not what you wanted to hear!
Hope things get easier for you very soon..
I'm also sorry to be the bearer of bad news... my DD is 13 months and still only sleeps for about 30-45 minutes for her nap/s. On the (very) rare occassion she sleeps longer than that, it is usually because she is having a growth spurt, teething, or sick. Sorry.
MG
Hi Deirdre, we still struggle with this now, but it slowed down a bit when DS turned 4 months old. I just kept persisting with getting him back to sleep and we *usually* get two long naps a day followed by a short nap. He is unwell atm so he is bit all over the place. I found with DS#1 that he grew out of it at around 6 months of age. Unfortunately it is different for every baby so you can never really know if/when it will stop! Keep working on it and I'm sure it will pay off for you :)
yep were the same!! rarely goes over 45 mins!! the occasional 60 mins!!m
how many sleeps is she having during the day?
It is nearly always day sleeps that she does it- very occasionally a 7pm or 10pm sleep. I wouldn't mind her doing it but she is still so tired and needs more sleep. If she was alert and happily awake at 45 mins it would be fine, but she's not.
May I ask ladies, when your bubs first started going through the waking, would you pick them up or try to get them to self-settle? What I am wondering is if not allowing them to self-settle (as it involves too much crying) will set me up down the track for a DD who won't sleep past 45mins iykwim?
AJP- she actually sleeps fairly well. After waking in the morning she has two lots of two hour sleeps during the day until the afternoon when she has a few 45mins. She sleeps fairly well at night well from 7pm till 7am with 3 feeds in that time with a period of 2-3hrs unsettled in that time too. But keeping her awake more than an hour during the day makes her very tired, then overtired and then impossible to settle!
hi there
at that age my dd was a cat napper, and i was lucky if i could get her to have a nap at all.... geez im glad we are over that hump.... from around 8 months or so she started sleeping longer, on occassions.... i tried for ages to re-settle her after the 45mins but gave up as i found it too stressful and highly unsuccessful.... if would just get her up after the 45mins and hope for the best, although clearly she was still tired.... now at 12 months she often sleeps for an hour and a half, sometimes two hours, and sometimes 45 minutes, i never try to re-settle because it just hasn't worked in the past and i feel as though its a waste of time.... we just cope on what naps she has and make the best of it.... its up to you whether you want to try to re-settle, just wanted to highlight if it is not getting you anywhere and causing you more angst, there is hope that she may sleep for longer periods of time when she is older... i dont think you will 'teach' her to wake after 45mins.... im a firm believer in 'you can't MAKE them sleep' god knows i tried!! good luck i know exactly how you feel, it is very tough, but it gets easier!!
My DS was a catnapper as well, and kinda figured it all out after about 4 months or so? I really can't remember, but the good thing was that it stopped, because it didn't leave me with much time to get stuff done before he was wailing at me again.
I know that some babies just figure it out and start doing longer sleeps, and others have to be really coached in to it, but all the kiddies that I know who have just figured it out have done so at about 4 months or so.
Good luck with it, I hope she starts getting more sleep soon. It's horrible when they wake up tired and grumpy but wont sleep any longer!
My DD was always a catnapper and this didn't stop til she went down to one sleep a day. But the difference was that my DD seemd to survive well on just catnaps. I hope you find some answers to help you.
Sorry if this is telling you what you already know!
What I tried to do was never put DD down asleep. Just rock her into a relaxed, sleepy state and constantly say "sleepy time now baby" so she was used to those verbal cues, but never totally asleep. That way she was used to getting herself to sleep. Then when she woke up after one sleep cycle, she was pretty good at going back to sleep because that's what she knew.
Took a bit of time to get her used to actually tipping herself over the edge, so to speak, but once she got it she REALLY got it.
Though there were still some days when she might sleep for 2-3 hours in one stretch, then maybe just one 45 minute stretch.
And other days where she only had catnaps.
But I think if you get some times where they go for at least 45 minutes then at least you know they can self-settle.
Self-settling, IMO, is NOT the same as controlled crying. You don't have to let your baby cry. Just keep picking up and comforting until they are relaxed and sleepy. I know this is NOT what the baby books say - they say don't pick up again and don't cuddle - do patting but I never felt comfortable doing that when a cuddle seemed like absolutely the right thing to do. It took me about 3-5 days but I just persisted. But if she looked wide awake, I didn't battle her - after a few goes, I'd get her up. Trying to get a baby to sleep because you think they SHOULD sleep is just absolutely exhausting. So I'd only keep trying if I thought she looked sleepy.
Hope that makes some sort of sense.
Thanks for your advice. Fiona, I have to admit that DD goes off to sleep herself every sleep. I put her in her cot wide awake, give her a few (literally) pats on the bottom and a 'goodnight' and she goes to sleep herself, and mostly without a dummy. So I am very lucky in that regard. Also, as you say, I know she CAN self-settle because I often hear her wake, move around (funnily enough the other day I found her turned 180 degrees from where I put her- her feet were where her head was meant to be. Can u imagine my surprise- at 3.5 months!) have a little gurgle to herself then back to sleep. But othertimes she just cries till I pick her up. I just hate seeing her so tired!
You have all made me feel better though!
Hi,
A baby sling is great - do you ever use one? In a sling, you can often see babies stir when they come into a lighter sleep cycles, but they register that you are there and she is snuggled up with mummy and they go back to sleep. And you can get on with your day
Regards
Barb
I do exactly what Fiona suggested. I know "they" say not to pick your bub up to help resettle them, but I do this and he has eventually learned to go back to sleep without me. So don't feel bad if you have to do it! ALWAYS go with your own instincts, they are usually right. :)
My littly is 13 months old,, as also only has naps of UP to 40 minutes during the day.
Sorry I could not be of any more help,, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone :hugs:
I don't know if this will help because some people are against letting their bubs cry but I was suffering from the same thing - 45 min naps - about 3 a day. After going to sleep school I've leanr it is vital for her to have more sleep than 45 mins - she is much happier when she does.
If she wakes after 45 mins (even if she looks wide awake) I need to resettle her. If she is talking or awake happy - then just leave her. If she cries then I go in and pat the bed or stroke her lightly. She has fallen back asleep after this. It now means she can sleep by herself longer than 45 mins and she is much happier and sleeping through the night better. I've learnt that helping her now (with a few tears ) means she will get better sleep.
I hvaen't found her to be hysterical and becaus eI;'m watching for her tired cues she is in bed much quicker (sometimes after 1 hr). I thought she could be up as long as 2 hours byt most times she gets tired before this so I put her to bed earlier - this is all working nicely!
My bub was a catnapper from about 6 weeks old until 4 or 5 months. He would sleep about 30-40 mins. I never resettled him as he didn't seem tired when he woke.
He now has about an hour in the morning and an hour and a half in the afternoon. He did this by himself. He sleeps in the evening from 7pm - 5am.