The Arrival of Espen (very long!)
Tuesday 18th March- 4 days before bubba's due date. It was supposed to be the last day of the heat wave so I had decided to go watch a movie in the cinema aircon and relax as bubba was allowed to born from tomorrow- I didn't want to look after a newborn in the heat. At about 11am I rang and booked an induction massage for the following week to make sure things would get moving then promptly went to the toilet and had my show!
After calling my sister, Tarsha, then our doula, Kelly (yes, THE Kelly ;)) and my husband, Mat to let them all know the exciting news I decided to head off to the movie as although I already felt some pressure in my pelvis, labour could still be a long way off. I lasted about 40 minutes of 'Juno', trying to sit every which way but with too much pain and realised I needed to head home.
I got home around 2pm and sent Mat an SMS telling him he wouldn't be at work the next day. He called me back and asked if I needed him home. "No, it'll be ages" then a 'wave of pain' hit and I begged him to come home now. I think I was in denial about labour as it was a while before I started calling my pain contractions. I called the birth centre to let them know I was in labour but staying at home for now and the midwife asked how far apart my contractions were. "Oh, I'm not sure if I'm having contractions but I get these waves of more intense pain". So she asked how far apart my 'waves of pain' were. Heh heh.
I took some paracetamol about 2.30pm thinking if this wasn't real labour it's supposed to make the pain go away and I'm supposed to rest. Maybe they were sugar tablets cause it did nothing. Once Mat got home he helped me put on the TENS machine. I tried this on and off through the labour but never really liked the sensation or the feeling of the pads on my back so eventually gave it up. Mat started timing my contractions and I asked him to hide the bit of paper he was writing on... I didn't want to know how long this was going to take! Later it became interesting- it was always nice to hear if they were closer together or longer and I was always hoping that maybe I?d been through transition. Would I know when it happened? I had no idea what to expect.
The next 12 hours were a bit of a blur labouring at home before heading to the birth centre. The pain was pretty full on from the start and I couldn't sit or lie down. I found the comfiest position was standing and rocking my hips side to side. In between contractions I would lean on something to rest and concentrate on breathing deeply and relaxing, imagining my cervix opening. When a contraction hit I pushed down on Mat's hands and squatted... usually crying out "Ow, ow, ow, ow" for the start then calming into it and trying to breathe deeply through the end. Mat called Kelly with a progress report at one point and she heard me screaming away so told Mat to remind me to try and breathe deeply. I remember him getting off the phone and saying "Kelly says if your saying 'Ow' maybe there's some other things you can try". I felt a little conspired against but I knew they were right so I tried but I never did manage to master controlling the initial crying out with a contraction.
My starchy, carb loaded pre-labour lunch of hot chips came back up and I threw up a few more times through the night. I tried to drink some powerade but threw that straight back up too so stuck to water and kept it down. I drank SO much water. After almost every contraction I said "Water" and had a sip from the bendy straw without lifting my head. Mat says I probably drank about 6-8 litres throughout the labour.
Mat was an amazing support! He made the house very dim and quiet and set up piles of pillows in every room. He constantly told me how strong I was and how proud he was and assured me I could get through each contraction. Telling me it was all bringing me closer to having my baby didn't help though... "I don't care. I don't want a baby anymore!" I started talking to him about epidurals at one point. I think he was worried how far it might go as I'd told him to try and talk me out of drugs if I asked for them so I said "I'm not saying I want one... it would just be bliss to take this away". Mostly I zoned out and went with the contractions and time seemed to go really quickly. I'd only feel like I'd gone through a few contractions and an hour would have passed. I was feeling really positive about getting through a long labour at this rate.
I was leaning over on the bed when a strong contraction started and I suddenly needed to be standing up. Mat was out of the room so I quickly reached over for the cot next to the bed but missed and fell onto the floor with all my weight onto my knee. Poor Mat came running and had to watch me writhe in pain from the knee and contraction till it ended and I could explain and get up. Gave me a huge bruise to add to the aches and pains once labour was over!
I started using the shower on and off and ended up loving it so much I felt like I spent hours in there! The warm water on my back was bliss and I loved holding onto the top of the shower screen and squatting down through the contractions. My arms were soo sore afterwards! Mat brought a blanket and pillow into the bathroom and snoozed for a while. Summer (our cat) came in and watched me too- it was soothing to look at them while I was working away. At around 1-2am I started to feel the urge to push with the contractions. I was concerned that I wasn't sure if I'd even been through transition yet and whether I should be pushing or not so I told Mat I wanted to go to the birth centre now. He called them and they said to wait half an hour and decide. After about 10 more minutes I decided it was definitely time to go so Mat called the birth centre and Kelly and told them we were on our way.
Getting dressed and into the car between contractions was a challenge! Then Mat had to drive with me in the back crying out and telling him to drive slower. We finally made it and I hopped out, leaned over someone's car with another contraction then ran inside as fast as I could. I grunted at Kelly and the midwife, dashed to the room, took off my track pants and quickly leant on the bed for another contraction. Phew! I then said hello to Kelly and our midwife, Sue, while Mat brought all my pillows and things in and we settled in.
Sue suggested I sit backwards on the toilet but it wasn't comfy and I ended up holding onto the bar on the bathroom wall and squatting and swaying through the contractions for around an hour. Sue then suggested I try leaning over the bed which was raised up high. Almost immediately I started to feel something coming out with my pushing! I took off my undies and asked someone to look and it was the waters bulging out- they were still unbroken. The excitement was fantastic- this meant I was fully dilated and my baby would be born soon! Now I wanted a baby again!! I felt euphoric and kissed Mat telling him how much I loved him... the end was in sight.
After some pushing the bag of waters came out and hung there... what a rather unattractive sight! More and more pushing and no baby seemed to be coming along after it however. I was losing my euphoria and becoming impatient- why wasn't the baby coming out? Pushing was hard work and to have a contraction finish and seem to be in the same position was disheartening. After some time Sue said the dreaded words to me "I'm sorry, but we're on the clock now". This was why I had wanted a home birth- I didn't want time pressures and hospital 'rules'. My feeling that nothing was going to go wrong couldn't be shaken though and I didn't feel stressed like I would have thought at this news. I had been pushing for almost 2 hours and the hospital required that after that time I be transferred to the birth suite where I'd most likely have an episiotomy and vacuum to get baby out.
It was time to get serious. Sue suggested I hop on the birth stool which I knew would increase my chance of tearing but my options were looking limited and I really wanted this baby out too. I sat on it backwards and leaned into Mat so I was in a deep squat. Sue and Kelly were behind me coaching me to push harder and harder still with each contraction. I thought I had been pushing hard but once I upped it I realised just how hard it was supposed to be! I started telling Mat I didn't think I could do it and maybe I didn't mind having the vacuum. I remember Kelly saying very clearly "You don't want the vacuum" I couldn't really understand why I didn't at the time but I knew Kelly was my rational brain so accepted what she said as the truth. Sue also inspired me with the magic words "I want you to birth your baby, not someone else". Me too! Okay, no vacuum. I didn't want to have to move anywhere anyway, so I turned into a pushing mad woman. Sue was trying to put off other people who were checking what was happening in our room and she kept checking baby's heart beat. After checking it she said "Baby is fine". "They are not fine!" I said "They're still in there!!"
Finally after much pushing I felt the head crowning- owww!!!! After a few more contractions I pushed out baby's head- what a HUGE relief! Next contraction out came the shoulders and the body slid out. I couldn't believe it- it was actually over. My baby was born! I asked Mat to pick the baby up as I turned around and sat on the bed. As we cuddled our baby I remembered we hadn't checked the sex. Quick peek and it's a boy!
I started losing a lot of blood so they had me lie down and have the syntocin injection to stop the bleeding and birth the placenta. I tried to place our boy on my chest and let him do the breast crawl... I was so tired I could barely move a muscle however and at one point a midwife had to move him as he was face planted into me and turning blue- oops!
We then had to go to the birth suite so I could get stiches for a 2nd degree tear on my perineum- crazy pushing comes at a price! I found the stitching really traumatic and Kelly and Mat were a huge help getting me through.
Back in our room again everyone started to leave us and the bliss set in... we named our little boy and cuddled up in bed. Mat and Espen slept though I couldn't sleep for another 12 hours. What a beautiful sight my new family was. I was euphoric and proud- what a day!
Our son was born at 7.36am on 19th March 2008
Weighing 4.3kg (9lb, 8 oz), 55.5cm long and head circumference of 37cms
