Punishment for yucky AF habbits

Alecia has a drawer in her room which she keeps all her toiletries... I went into her room one day and found that she had been keeping all the wrappers and dirty pads in there too.

I said "That is discusting! There is a bin in the bathroom and the toilet for those things... Next time I see such things I will make you wear rags like they did before women had such comforts. You'll also have to wash them".

Well a few months later I see it again and warned her again.

Emily went in her room the other day and was pulling out all her pads and taking the cover off them etc. So I went in there and took them off her and put them back only to realise that Alecia had been up to her old tricks again! YUCK

Anyway I cleaned out the drawer and put a large piece of flanelette in there for her to use. it can easily be made up into a few pads. I haven't discussed it with her yet and am waiting for her to come to me and ask what is going on.

Anyway do you think this is too much for a 13yo??

Tanya

She might be embarressed, I remember doing this once because I was embarresed. Is the bin in the bathroom closed? Our bin was open and I didn't like the idea of everyone knowing I had my period. Yes it is disgusting and yes not very hygenic (And I am a super clean freak) but at the time I couldn't put two and two together, probably naive I guess. In the end I put a bin in my room because I preferred that than using a bin that everyone could see my business iykwim?

Maybe talk to her about why she's doing it iykwim? If she's embarressed this might only make the problem worse.

*hugs*
Cailin

Hmmm.. as Calin suggested it could be embarrasment... could you put a small sealed bin in her room with a plastic bag inside & get her to use that instead & throw the bag out every couple of days or so...

Only a suggestion.. hope you can sort something out...... good luck..

I agree with the other ladies, give her some paper bags to wrap the pads in and put a bin in her room. Hopefully this will solve the problem. The things that kids do ](*,)

Please don't punish her. Try having a conversation with her about the hygene issues and the fact that her younger siblings can find them in the draws etc. Don't make her feel bad or dirty because unfortunately a lot of girls feel like this when they first get their periods, especially if a lot of the friends don't have them yet.

I started my periods at 9. By the time I was in grade 6 there were still no other girls at my school who had periods. There were no facilities at school for the disposal of sanitary items and I used to hide them in my pockets (wrapped of course) and then in my school bag. My mum used to go off at me all the time and call me disgusting and dirty, which while true just made me feel worse. It wasn't until my Grandma asked me why I was doing it and we sat down as 'women' and discussed it that I started to realise it really wasn't anything to be ashamed of and to hide. She even bought me paper bags so that at school it would look like I was throwing lunch scraps in the bin. Sometimes an understanding ear is much more important than a lecture.

I am not saying you are wrong to be angry with your daughter just suggesting that you approch it more as a lets have a chat sweety, as friends than you naughty girl. Explain that even though Emily shouldn't be in her room going through her things she could have put them in her mouth or anything... but most importantly do the "we need a girls talk".

I relaly hope I haven't upset you or come across as saying you are wrong because as I said you have every right to be angry with your daughter, I just remember what it was like trying to make the transition from girl to women and to this day I don't have a friendship with my mum... she is just someone I tolerate for my dad's sake... my grandma who was there to talk to me ans listen to me is the person who has the feelings that should be my mum's.

Please either get a mod to remove this post if it upsets you or pm me and I will delete the content... If I do offend I am very sorry.

I think a bin in her room is the best idea.

I would definitely do the bin in the room and buy the bags like nappy bags but for sanitary napkins from the same aisle as where you buy the sanitary napkins from. I agree with the other girls and feel she is just embarrased by the whole situations and doesn't want the world to know she has her period. But if she can have her own bin at least she should be more inclined to use it.

Love

I would go with a bin in her room as well. Then she can just tie it up like any other rubbish and pop it out in the bin when needed. I'm the only girl in my house and I don't use the bin in the bathroom for my girlie things. What I actually use is one of those disposable nappy bags that are "scented" so that might be a good idea if she's worried about smell at all.

I'd do the bin in her room too. And i agree she is probably just embarrassed. I know i was, as I got mine at age 10 and none of my friends got them until at least age 13-14. I felt like a freak to tell the truth! So maybe you could have another talk with her and ask if she's emarrassed and tell her it's ok and it's all normal etc.

Ok... we'll go with a bin :) But I am thinking she may not empty it and just let it flow over.... I suppose we'll wait and see.

I have previously told her to at least put a plastic bag in your room if you don't want to use the other bins you can use that.... Anything but in your drawer!

Alecia is no amateur at this AF thing... she got hers early too, at age 9. She isn't embarrassed about it, just lazy (I know that sounds harsh, but it's true 8-[ ). Anyway I have bought her sanitary bags for her pads, but she doesn't seem to use them. I have told her to wrap them before she puts them in the bin, even in a bit of toilet paper will do, but sometimes she won't even do that!

The great thing about Alecia is that she is extremely open and would telll me if there was a problem... But I will have another go and see what we can come up with.

We spoke a little about it today and she was very upset that she might have to go without pads etc...

So if I give her a bin and she continues being unhygenic about it...? Any suggestions?

BTW, Kerry... I am totally not angry with your response... Thank you very much for your input, I apreciated it :)

Tanya

I was going to say maybe she's embarrassed as well, but seeing as you seem so open with her I can understand that it could just be plain laziness too. Has she told you why she puts them in her drawer? Can't she change her pads/tampons in the toilet to prevent this from happening? Is there a bin in the toilet? I know at the end of the day she does need to be responsible although I don't know what an appropriate punishment would be. I would probably ban her from changing in her room and make it a toilet only thing.

I don't know it's so difficult isn't it? I have "can't be bothered" issues with my 11 yo daughter, she is just plain lazy too and I really need to push her and take away luxuries to get her to respond and even then she has a don't care attitude, it can be frustrating.

Good luck I hope you'll be able to resolve this issue with her.