Internalising during labour....

Ok so I'm not sure that the title exactly explains what I mean, but I can explain better here....

I had a sudden realisation tthis afternoon about my labour with Alexzander. I was very stressed, almost hysterical, crying etc etc at the point when I asked for an epidural. It was all organised & the anesthetist came in to do it. He took one look at me & said if I didn't calm down there was no way he'd be able to do it. Somehow after being in quite a state for the last 3-4 hours I managed to go within myself & calm down, just like that. Someone tried to talk to me & I said no, I need it to be quiet. So I sat, very calmly in absolute silence for however long it to for the epidural to be set up & inserted. I would say in that time I'd had probably around 4 or 5 contractions and I breezed through them.

So what I'm wondering is if this is a good tactic to use in labour. I'm not even sure what I did or how I did it, I just shut off everything & concentrated on being calm and still. Had I realised at the time I could have probably tried to do it for longer & been ok.

Might sound silly, but the only thing I'm concerned with is if I can manage it, to stay calm focussed & pretty much internalising everything if that would be ok?? Everyone says about not bottling up emotions & internalising things as it's not good for you, but would that work in labour as well? If I internalise & stay quiet & in deep concentration, will it affect things later on in the labour? Or is that essentially what hypnobirthing is about? (I'm reading a hypnobirthing book at the moment, but am not too far into it yet to know).

Sarah, I'm not really a good person to give advice on labour but I would think that there are no hard and fast rule about how to behave during labour. Some women seem to find that vocalising helps them and others talk about how important silence so I would say that if concentrating on calmness helped you then it might be beneficial to try and do some practise of finding that calm place.

Hi Sarah, what you did last time sounds great! I had a pretty long horrible first labour full of fear of the unknown which made things a lot worse than they could have been. The second time around I looked into relaxation methods and they REALLY worked! I had a wonderful experience. I can't speak highly enough of deep breathing, it helped me stay calm and focused.

I found Blue Daisy's thread: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...f-methods.html really helpful because it explained how labour works and described how to work with your body. I used the natural pain relief methods that she described and it made a massive difference.

I wish you all the best, I'm sure you will do wonderfully :)

I don't think you internalized your fears, I think you very successfully redirected your energy. Probably because you had a very short term goal to focus on. ie - "if I can just hang in there for a few minutes longer the epidural will take the pain away".

You have already done it!

So next time when you can hear your self thinking "o cr@p it hurts, ow ow ow, is this worst than the last one, o lord I can't do this", you MUST remember (even if you have to be rude to your brain again ;) to change the mantra to "oh here we go, yep, I can DO THIS, I can, CAN DO this, ahh there it goes - am I in transition yet" (lol).

This totally and absolutely did it for me (my doula says even though I was sometimes spitting it through gritted teeth), it did change things, it was almost like a "bring it ON" thing.
I also managed to zone out when I had to let the midwife check stuff out - I soooo didn't want to lie down even for a sec, so I focussed totally on the music in the room and it was over before I knew it.

If I'm right you are going to have some pretty amazing support at your birth, if you feel that way again, let them know and they will guide you through it.

You're going to be amazing hun!

I used hypnobirthing during my last pregnancy and although I did end up having an emergency c/s I was 7cm dilated with a posterior baby with almost no pain. I did lose focus once and started to feel out of control and that's when it hurt. I found that the focus and breathing kept me calm and that I was able to get through whatever was happening.

I don't see it as internalising but more of a focus exercise. I have written more about my experiences with hypnobirthing on our 1st blog
BabyBoardy Blog: HypnoBirthing - Was it worth the effort?

Like Nai I too did hypnobirthing, and up until one point where I started to lose focus and got scared (and same here the pain got worse) I was very internalised. And as Lucy says I don't think its bottling its focusing on the energy and doing something more calm with it. In birth provided you are calm, safe and comfortable most women find they zone out and this is exactly what you did and what I did. In a way our bodies already know what to do its just that things like hypnobirthing teach us to harness that.

Sarah, from what that sounds like its pretty close to hypnobirthing.

I'm in agreeance with Lulu too. You are not wasting energy with screaming and fussing more internalising and "getting on with it".

I find that when I am in labour I really do internalise. I will answer in my head instead of verbalising what i want. Not very helpful I know. I shut out everyone else and just focus on the job at hand. You know what it is you are there to do so let's get it happening.

Goodluck Sarah, I am sure that you will do just fine hun :hug:

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I don't think you internalized your fears, I think you very successfully redirected your energy.

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Exactly what I was going to say!
There is a difference between bottling up in a negative way and redirecting your energy to help yourself stay calm and focused - and what you were doing sounds like the latter.

While some women find yelling and screaming therapeutic I think most women who manage labour well (at least from what I have seen) eventually settle down, become quiet and really start to concentrate on what they're doing. When they get to this point they often tune other things out, which is why it's interesting that you said you didn't want anyone talking to you. Touch and eye contact and other non verbal stuff starts to become more important. When you find something that works just do it, don't worry about what you think you're "meant" to be doing.

Wow not too long to go now, good luck I'm sure you'll be awesome! :)

Sarah, bascially that's what I did during my labour with Tom (all 3 hours of it LOL). I just focussed on my breathing. I didn't want to talk or think or concentrate on what was going on around me, just concentrate on breathing through the contractions. I found it very useful and TBH I was in no position to vocalise, the internalising just came naturally.

I think you might be getting the internalising thing mixed up a bit.

The way I see internalising, it is in a negative way ie - internalising fear (suppressing it) WILL result in you tensing up, feeling out of control etc.

You might be getting internalising mixed up with "going inside yourself" ie- managing to block out all the white noise and focussing on your breathing. Dykwim?

If you can separate the two in your mind, I think it might help too.

You guys are AWESOME!!

I think you're right Lulu, I was thinking of it in a negative way, rather than positive. Now I just have to remember to do it when I'm there!

Just thought I'd add my experience...
I'd been in labour since 6am in the morning with horrible back contractions every 2 minutes lasting for a minute, so hardly a break in between. Also, I had spent the entire labour standing. By 11am we thought that we'd better get to the hospital which was an hour away in the car. I got in the car and got straight back out again - I didn't think there was any possible way that I could do it. Mum convinced me to get back in again and quickly drove off before I could get out! For that entire hour I gripped my Doula's hand and breathed and didn't open my eyes, somehow I had gone to some place within myself and settled into a rhythm where suddenly the contractions were bareable. When I got to the hospital I was fully dilated and just had the pushing to go.
I still don't know how I got through that car ride, especially at the stage of labour that I was in.
I think that when it comes to the crunch and you HAVE to do something you just pull up the strength from somewhere deep inside.

You can do it Sarah!! Follow your instincts and if your DH can help you focus when you start to drift then you will have absolutely no problems :)

It's abit like not pushing when the head is crowning. The minute your midwife tells you to stop it takes all you can and you pull from deep inside to get past that urge to push like mad. You block out everything else and just concentrate on getting yourself through it.

Lulu, you are right too, it is going within yourself.

Sarah, I don't think you'll have any problems remembering hun. You will have a great doula by yourside guiding you along too.