Everything I Never Expected I Got (Long)

My Birthing Story commences on the April 16th, 3 days prior to birth on April 19th in order for you to understand the circumstances of this rather traumatic experience in its entirety.

On April 16th at 9am - 38 w4d pg - I go for my weekly clinic visits at the hospital, the doctor is concerned that she can not feel the head, checks the file and notes that doctors at 35 and 37 wk appointments have baby as 1/5th engaged. He gets the ultrasound to check and finds that the baby is breech with her head up against the placenta at about 11oclock. Dr gets registrar to come in who then tells me about 4 times in 5 mins I'll probably have to have a c-section unless they can turn the baby via an ECV.

I get booked for an ultrasound on Thursday to position the baby, an ECV on Friday to turn the baby. Only 65% of ECVs are successful, if it is not successful a c-section will be booked for the 39th week - i.e. Wednesday April 23rd, if something goes wrong in the process an emergency c-section is performed. On the Friday the doctor doing the ECV says that in 13 years he has never had to perform an emergency c-section from an ECV.

The ECV is successful and the midwife tells me to sit backwards on a chair and sleep on my right to keep the baby in position. I go home and do just that, all happy that I am going to get to have a VB. Can't sleep much that night feeling very uncomfortable. Up from 3am sitting backward on a chair. 6.30am start to feel minor contractions, thinking that I still have a week to go push past them and think nothing of it. Go shopping and come home to have lunch and give DS afternoon nap. Go to lay down with DS for afternoon nap at 12.45pm. Too uncomfortable to lay down. 12.56pm first strong contraction happens, start to get them regularly feels like 3 to 4 minutes apart - have shower ask DH to time them. They are regular and 3-4 mins apart. After 30 minutes arrange to drop Ds at SIL?s and head for hospital.

Call hospital on the way there, tell the midwife regular contractions 3 to 4 minutes apart for last 40 mins, she tells me not to come in, I tell her I had an ECV and pamphlet says to call if you have contractions, she says okay we need to check the position of the baby and if that is okay I can go home and continue my labour there.

Get to the hospital around 2.05pm get put on CTG and ultrasound for positioning, quick internal and they move me by wheelchair into the birthing suite (remember I was told over the phone - I can go home and continue my labour there if baby is not breech.

I am forced to have an inactive labour, sitting on a bed hooked up to the CTG I can't move to progress the labour and feeling intense back pain. The midwife is not the most caring type, in fact at one point I just wanted to tell her to "p!ss0ff". She keeps telling me to breathe through my contractions as I am starving the baby of oxygen - "see how the heart rate goes down when you contract?"

I get to go to the toilet once and then the doctor puts in the drip for the antibiotics due to the fact that I was GBS positive. The midwife goes to get something, can't find it, needs another midwife to read the labels on some drugs she is giving me at one point - blind bat. Suggests that I try to lie on my left side as I am feeling intense pressure and back pain with my contractions. The one contraction I have on my left is too painful and I am in tears - she thinks I am trying to push.

The doctor is not happy with the CTG results of the foetal heart rate dropping with each contraction, they decide that they should rupture my membranes to speed up the process as I am likely to have this baby as soon as my waters break. The doctor goes to do so - finds I am 8 cm dialated and feels the cord is presenting, she then has the midwife check it and she agrees. Another midwife comes in to keep an eye on the CTG and they then call in a consultant and another doctor.

The first doctor tells me that the cord is behind the head and that I am not going to be able to continue with this delivery, they are going to have to give me some drug to stop the contractions and I will need a c-section. I am rather upset by this - again the bag midwife tells me to relax and breathe as I am distressing the baby - you try stopping the crying and breather when you get told you have to have a c-section - something I really do not want.

The other doctor also checks internally and tells me that the cord is behind the head and is compressing with my contractions, I will need to have an emergency c-section in order to have this baby - she needs me to sign a consent form. I look to DH who is getting asked to sign a consent for me to have an epidural - I say I don't want an epidural and the other doctor has a consent for an emergency c-section in my face on the other side of the bed - expecting me to read it through tears and me crying I don't want one. In the end I sign under duress.

Whilst this is happening the bag midwife is shaving me and I just want to stab her as she is not being gentle at all. So I guess I was having a c-section consent or not.

By 4pm they are racing me out of the birthing suite up to the theatre. 4.06pm I say goodbye to DH as he is not allowed into the theatre as I have elected to have the general anaesthetic.

They can not sit me up for the anaesthetic due to the doctor having to keep the head from coming any further down the cervix, so they suggest rolling me on my side for it. The midwife says that she tried me on both sides and totally lost the foetal heart rate - only she never put me on my right. They roll me to the right and put a needle in my spine, which I later found out was a one-shot spinal block and not the general anaesthetic I had asked for. As they move me back into position the anaesthetist tells me I will feel some tugging and pulling. I feel them rubbing solution on my tummy and it tickles at this point. Then my waters break and they are green from the meconium. The situation is now more urgent, the doctor cuts and 3 minutes from incision to birth. The baby cries and I forget all about how I did not want any of the things I got in my birthing experience. After the paediatrician checks the baby she is put on my chest for while they cauterised my uterus and sewed/stapled me up.

Oh you poor thing. What a horrible way to birth your child. Thank you for sharing your story. :hug:

Oh sweet... what an ordeal :hug:

You were so brave and did so well!! I'm so sorry to hear that the midwife you had was not helpful or friendly. I am so glad you have your gorgeous little bub safe in your arms.

Thankyou for sharing your story.

I'm sorry that you didn't get the birth you were hoping for. I hope you are enjoying getting to know your precious little one. Thank you for taking the time to share your story :)

oh my gosh hun :hug:
What a traumatic, out of control experience for you and your DH. Keep talking it through, there are plenty of us here who have been there and are willing to listen while you process your little girls birth.
Take care and I hope your recovery is going ok...and congratulations on your little girl too.

Despite having had the traumatic experience. I have come to terms with it now and have really looked at the fact that I am celebrating the birth of an adorable little girl whom I have dubbed "Too Posh to be Pushed" :lol:.
I must admit that the minute I heard her cries I let go of all the disaster that had proceeded that moment. I knew that the most important thing for me was not to harbour any ill feeling toward Greer for having chosen to come into the world via an emergency c-section because she was "Too Posh to be Pushed" ;)
I am glad to be suffering for the birth experience as opposed to be mourning and preparing for a funeral.
And I will always be a strong advocate for VB and the pain of labour as opposed to having a c-section, but if there is no other option, there is no other option.
It wasn't until days after that I really understood the gravity of the need to have a c-section.
The recovery time that I spent in hospital was made pleasurable by the midwives and because I did not play on the fact that I had just had major abdominal surgery they were all very willing to assist me.
My Home Care Midewives have said that my wound is very clean and I have had no problems with the external wound, but the internal incisions are very painful.
Thanks for all the :hug: I am generally happy and only really having to process and deal with the fact that I am feeling guilty for the burden having a c-section is placing on those around me, particularly DH as he looks after our 2yr old DS and helps with DD.
My Mum has told me he was shattered by the experience but he still hasn't talked to me about it at all.

So sorry it ended up this way for you Grubi, especially after successfully turning Greer. Doesn't seem fair you had to go through that and then have a c-section anyway. Hopefully your pain will ease very soon so you can really concentrate on that gorgeous girl of yours, as well as your DS. And you're absolutely right - while not the way you hoped or planned, the only thing that really matters at the end of it is that you and Greer are safe, well and healthy. Not surprising your DH was pretty traumatised by it - I think it must be very hard to be standing there completely unable to help the woman you love. Hopefully he too will recover quickly from the ordeal.

That sounds very traumatic.

Sorry to hear you didnt get the birth you wanted.

I am happy you are both ok though :)

CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your little girl :)

Sounds like you got rushed into making decisions! not very nice! gld you are coming to terms with the gravity of the situation though and glad you looking after your mental health with the knowledge of the life n death ness of it.

Thanks for sharing your story and congrats of the birth of your little girl. I hope that your DH can eventually talk to you about the trauma he has also been through, and you can heal together. :)

You poor thing having to go through such a traumatic experience.:hug:.. that midwife sounds like she it completely in the wrong career- silly woman. Birthing mothers do not need people like that around them during labour. It is amazing how hearing that cry can make you forget all the pain and disappointment. I found it really helpful to post in the birth debriefing thread on here, and it was a few months after her birth, as I found that there were things that kept playing on my mind after her birth- you might find it useful as well in the coming weeks.
:) at Too posh to be pushed!! Enjoy your little princess and your babymoon!

not often i read something like this, that makes me feel like "snap", this person had a crappy birthing experience just like me.

it's sad to feel alone about it.

thanks for getting it out.

congratulations on the arrival of your lovely little daughter!

From one emergency c/s mum to another ....... there is much to deal with in the way of guilt ....... but congratulations on rising above all of the trauma and finding what is far more important - the beautiful baby! You are a strong, wonderful mummy who has an amazing reward......a perfect little baby!

Hey Grubi, wow what an experience you got! I totally feel for you hun! I have been there with the having papers shoved in your face and just not being able to comprehend what is going on! I was only 16 at the time and scared sh#tless, i don't think age matters at all its just hugely traumatic. Back near on 17yrs ago we didnt have these places to come and get it off our chest though! I truly find these forums a blessing. I truly feel for you and DH as someone else said it must have been so hard for him to watch the woman he loves so much go through all that and not be able to help or fix it for her! Huge :hug: :hugs: for you and DH i truly hope he feels he can come and talk to you in the near future so that you can both fully heal! Yay for Greer being here and love the nickname for her! Enjoy your too posh to be pushed little girl and thanks for sharing!