Do I really have to wait?

I know this probably should be a question for my obstetrician.... but I thought I'd ask you girls first because you are all so helpful and so many people (unfortunately) seem to have been through a similar situation to me.

Last Thursday we found out that I had either had a silent miscarriage or a blighted ovum and I had a D&C on Saturday morning as my body hadn't realised that the baby had passed away and I hadn't had any bleeding or signs or miscarriage.

I am still devastated and cry a lot when I think about my baby, but at the same time my DH and I would really like to try again to conceive another precious bundle. It would never make me forget our first baby, but our desire to hold a baby of our own is so strong.

My obstetrician said that I would probably bleed for a few days after the D&C (which I did but it has pretty much stopped now), and that shortly afterwards I would probably get my period. He said to wait until after my 2nd period and then we can try again. I was just wondering if there was a reason we couldn't try after my first period? I thought that maybe the lining of the uterus would not be good enough for the baby to implant? But if we did conceive in the first cycle and the baby did manage to implant, could there be further problems because it was the first cycle, or should we really wait until the 2nd cycle just in case?

I hope my rambling made at least a little sense...

Hi Krystie,
Oh it's a hard one isn't it! Your heart is saying 'go for it' but ur mind is saying 'hmmm maybe i should wait like the Dr said, i mean he must know best right' lol. I am in the same boat as you. I had a MC at the end of March and i just said 'whatever happens this cycle, happens'. Easier said than done! I didn't want to track my cycle with BBT or OPK's so i just thought whenever we DTD it 'may' work. I noticed some fertile CM and that was hard for me coz i knew that i could be ovulating and i really wanted to try but DP said 'no we agreed to wait!' However we did manage to DTD around the time and i knew that it may work but didn't really think it would. Anyways, we just DTD whenever and i am yet to find out. i think if it didn't happen this month then it's prob for the best and will give my body a little bit longer to get stronger, however if it did then i would feel truly blessed. Just don't stress because i know that a lot of women on this forum have gotten pregnant straight after a MC without a normal AF and have gone on to have healthy bubbas.
Good luck! :)

Hi Krystie,

I went to hospital and was given hormones in tablet form 6 days ago to bring on the miscarriage of my embryo which they said had stopped growing up to a week beforehand. I didn't have a D&C, so my case is a bit different, but my doctor said that there was no medical reason not to start TTC straight away. She said that there are a couple of reasons why doctors say you should wait: 1) it's harder to work out dates/age if you get pregnant straight away, 2) for emotional reasons.

I recently googled 'miscarriage recovery' and found a website which had a page about 'trying again', and they said that there was a possibility that you could get a positive hpt from leftover hormones from the miscarried baby, which would be devastating. The site leaned towards waiting, but having read it and other info, and had a think about it, I believe I'm ready to go ahead this cycle.

I'm going to my GP for a check-up next week, and will ask their opinion too though. I think I'll also use a HPT before we DTD again and see if it comes up positive, then use the same brand to test later on.

Good luck making your decision.

Thank you both.

Mumisabella, I think we might do the same as you. We won't actively be "trying" but we won't "not try" either. We'll just see how things go and hope for the best. Good luck when you test!

TreeTops, I'm so sorry that you lost your baby too. You must have found out the day before me (we found out on the 24th). I had read about the possibility of getting false positives on the preg tests too, so I think your idea about testing before DTD is a great one.

I'll try not to get too upset if I don't get pregnant straight away though. I'll still be sad, but I'll know it could just be because my body needs a little extra time to create a nice safe haven for my bubba.

hi,

I was in a similar situation as you not long ago. I miscarried at around 5 week but fell pregnant on my next cycle & now i am 2 days overdue with my bub.
I think they tell you that coz maybe there is a higher risk of m/c & the body needs to recover?

good luck:)
:pink-babydust:

Hey KL

So sorry you have had a loss :(

This topic comes up a lot on bb, so maybe do a search and you can hear about what a whole heap of us have done in terms of waiting or not.

Our ob said wait for the first AF after the d and c then try. So we did (and used OPKs) and got pregnant staight away (Think I got AF back about 6-8 weeks after my D and C).

Babi_gurl - Thanks for posting. You give me hope that I won't have to wait too long :) Good luck with the birth of your baby!! You must be getting so excited to meet your baby :D

Lee - Thanks for your idea of doing a search. I will definitely do that and have a read about what other people have done. I think we are going to wait until after the first AF (which I'm hoping comes soon! I hate waiting...) and then we will start trying again. Fingers crossed that it doesn't take long and that everything goes well!

Hi all,

My Dr originally told me 12 mths as he said therre would be and increased risk of miscaraige , then six then i pretty much said not a chance,every day feels like a year, so eventually he said june, but i thought , i would just play the lotto in april and if it was meant to be, i would fall. Unfortunatley i did not, even though i got 3 positive HPT's and i was 5 days late, it was stress, stopping AF and still had pregnancy hormone in my body nearly 15 weeks after having bubs. even so, i still say it's about how you feel, and if your ready,then go for it, positive thinking will help you through, best of luck xo

Sim :hug:

So sorry to hear about your loss. In my experience every doctor will give you different advice about when you can conceive again. A lot of it is based on their assumption of what would be best for you, and your emotional condition. You could always call the doctor and ask if there is any medical reason for you not to try again sooner. With my miscarriages I've been told 6 cycles, 3 cycles, 1 cycle, and right away by different doctors. They were all just trying to make it easier for me I think.

I really understand the feeling of wanting to try again. It can't replace the baby you've lost, but it can give you new joy. I find grieving the loss of a child easier when I'm pregnant again.

I was told to wait a couple of cycles ater my MC. I couldn't wait! I fell pregnant again on the very next cycle! Good luck with it all :)

All your messages are wonderful. We've basically decided that we will not try not to make a baby in the next few cycles, but we won't try to get our hopes up too high knowing that my body may need time to recover.

Hopefully we will be pleasantly surprised!

Now I just have to wait until all the hcg is gone from my body so that I can start ovulating again. I've been tempted to go to the dr to get a blood test, but the pregnancy tests are still coming up with a faint line, so it's not much use getting the blood test done when I already know that the hormone is still there.

Good luck :)