Breast refusal/fussy with position

I have finally come to the end of my tether with Maggie and her feeding preferences. I am fine with the whole infant led feeding thing, but I can't cope any more with her showing signs of hunger and then crying and arching her back when I try to put her on the breast.

I have tried many different positions, some of which work well at home, but can't be done outside the house. What works one time is not guaranteed to work again. The most successful position is lying down in bed, she will fed well for a decent amount of time and most of the time will go to sleep. Unfortunately I cannot do this all the time and it is not portable. So I am finding it difficult to leave house as it is hard to deal with a hungry baby who cries when I try to feed her.

I am beginning to wonder if I am misreading her cues, or if they have changed. Sometimes I have tried to hold off for awhile before feeding her to see if being really hungry will make her less fussy, it works for a couple of minutes, but then she pulls off and refused to go back on.

BTW we have been seeing an Osteo for her reflux and a stiff neck. She had major breast refusal a month ago, which is why we saw the Osteo, it has definitely helped, but not completely fixed it.

Any ideas on what I can do?

Thanks Astrid

The first thing I wondered is if you mightn't be misreading her signs of hunger - when Max has wind, he gives exactly the same signals as he does for hunger, as sucking gives them pain relief. If I put him to the breast, he does the same thing as you have described, because he doesn't really want to feed, he's just reacting to the pain.

Kerrie

Is she on anything for the reflux Astrid? How often is she wanting to feed? What signs is she giving you? Have you had her checked out at the doctors recently? Just sounds a bit suss, don't beat yourself up over it, you're doing a great job attending to her needs, but I think she is telling you something isn't right...

Been having a good think about this. I will try to go through it point by point.

Wind: I have to admit that sometimes her behaviour is due to wind. I should try to burp her before a feed.

Reflux: Did have her on Zantac, but it caused more problems than it helped. It was when she was first on it that started refusing the breast (this was also in conjunction with a sore neck) I have been taking her to see an Osteo which has improved things.

How often is she wanting to feed? Too often, not quite sure of times as I don't want to be a clock watcher, but I might have to be work it out. I do often feed her when she wakes as she tends to feed better then.

What signs is she giving you? Really sucking at objects more than usual. Eagerly sucking on any exposed skin on me or DH. Hitting and looking at my breasts. Sometime licking my cleavage if she happens to be near it. She has a particular urgent cry.

Have you had her checked out at the doctors recently? I have spoken to the MCHN about it, but she was not much help and suggested one of the family centre/sleep schools.

I think I have been contributing to her problem by getting paranoid about her behaviour and getting concerned about her weight gain, so I think I had been too insistent at trying to get her on the breast. My constant trying to feed her was just upsetting her. The past couple of days if she pulls off I try to burp her, then I try one other position on that breast, if that does not work, I then try the other breast. Sometimes it just is that she does not want the breast I am offering. I have also noticed that there are times that she prefers the positions that slow down my letdown. At times it can be a bit fast.

Also DD seems to had hit that easily distracted faze and fear of missing out. The crying and the back arching could be frustration. One time she carried on until I happened to move her into a position where she could see the TV and eat (she stayed on for ages)! She seems to like to attach and pull off herself. If let her do that then she feeds better and for longer. It can be rather funny watching her feed lying down in bed. She is distracted by the cat purring and even by the way her hand moves in front of her face.

Thanks for your posts, they really help me think about what is going on and I'm a lot less stressed now.

Oh that's good news, Astrid. I'm so glad you have been able to de-stress about the whole situation - this board can be a good reality check to help re-assess situations objectively. I hope you are finding it all easier to cope with - I can't help but wince and imagine your poor bbs, with all this pulling off and reattachment, mine are feeling a little bruised atm.

Kerrie

How are things going now Astrid? I must admit that I thought it sounded like Maggie had wind when you described what you were doing. Great idea to try and burp before you feed her.

Anyway, I hope it is going well for you.