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I'm devastated!
I am blown away! My nephew (who is 15) has just attended the funeral of a friend who died from a heroin overdose....
I'm devastated.... call me niave but when I hug my little guy (he is taller than me now) i still see him in his aeroplane pj's singing "i wanna walk like you, talk like you" & clapping his hands high in the air, fresh from a bath. Now he knows people who take herion.... I'm so sad.
Why do they have to grow up? why is the world do ugly at times? how will he get through unscathed?
it is all happening so quickly..... heroin! when i was 15 it was naughty to sneak a sip of peach wine from my girlfriends mum's cask.... heroin!
i just hope he stays safe & makes it through these coming years in one piece because they are far more dangerous now than when i was 15 & even then they were bloody tough.... *sigh*
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This may sound awful and I really do feel for the family of the dead boy but his death my be the best hing to happen to your nephew.. if he is experimenting or contemplating it he has just had the biggest reality check imagineable... Most boys don't realise they are not immortal until they are in their mid 20's... your nephew has learnt the hard way at 15 that life is very delicate and it isn't just 'old' people who die. Chances are his friend's death will be the wake up call he may or may not have needed to really value what and who he has and how precious his life is.
Make sure you let him know you are there if ever he needs an ear as the grieving process at his age is pretty traumatic (especially for boys). He is at the age where he is trapped between boyhood and manhood... he is likely to feel that he needs to be tuff and not show how hurt or upset he is, to not be 'week' when really he may just want a good hard cry and to be told everything is going to be all right.
I lost a friend to a heroin o/d when I was 14. It was hard for the girls to deal with but it was the boys who suffered the most.
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Good point Kerry, I hope this is a huge reality check for him.... he is the sort of kid that can 'go either way'. He is intelligent, sensitive & caring (& mostly easy to communicate with) my sister is a wonderful mother but he also has a crappy role model 'tough-guy mumbler immature' role model (father)
He & I are still pretty close but he lives in Vic &, at 15, isnt really interested in 'connecting' over the phone. I am going down there just before Christmas so I will be able to pick his brain then....
I just want to cuddle him & keep him safe until he is 26.... I'm grateful that he is experiencing this now but just shattered that he even has to IYKWIM.
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Here are some replies from an exact same thread in General Chatter. They have been moved here so we can keep all replies in one place. Thanks guys!
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Kirsty77
Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 931
Location: south east queensland
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:41 pm Post subject:
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I know how you feel Melody.The world is such a different place to when we were kids.I worry about what sort of world its going to be when Gemma is older and when my neices are in school.Its just down right scary!
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Kirsty 28
Corey 28
TTC bub #2 in Feb 2006
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Melody
Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 344
Location: Sydney
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:44 pm Post subject:
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I just put "Cold Chisel - Greatest Hits" on the stereo & am doing some major reminiscing (about when i was 15. INXS, school work, the latest blue-light disco....) . I feel like crying, it makes me so sad to think of him being robbed of a proper childhood.
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Me 30 DH 40
Married 24th May 2003
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Fletch
Joined: 24 Apr 2004
Posts: 2679
Location: Western Sydney
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:45 pm Post subject:
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Oh Mel, thats awful.
Love the reminiscing!
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Fletch DH
DS Zane 30-7-05
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Kirsty77
Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 931
Location: south east queensland
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:48 pm Post subject:
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I think most kids these days are robbed of their childhoods.I mean I wouldn't even know what herion looks like let alone have tried it.To be honest I wouldn't know what ANY drugs looked like!And yet kids these days have drugs being sold to them at school!!Geez when I was at school all we did was hang out and talk about boys and what we were going to do on the weekend!
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Kirsty 28
Corey 28
TTC bub #2 in Feb 2006
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Melody
Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 344
Location: Sydney
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 1:00 pm Post subject:
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Me too.... remember bubble gum jeans?
The weekends were for hairspray & gossip..... not heroin & funerals.
I am literally sitting here crying, i feel really sad.
"Flame Trees" just came on & it reminds me that I wished my whole childhood away & I wish to god I hadn't.
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Me 30 DH 40
Married 24th May 2003
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Kirsty77
Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 931
Location: south east queensland
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 1:08 pm Post subject:
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I do remember bubble gum jeans!LOL!I wished my childhood away too.I dreamed of being older and the things I would do.But you know what, being an adult is not all its cracked up to be. Bills to pay, decisions to make.I wish I was a kid again.It was magical.Somehow the magic disappears...
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Kirsty 28
Corey 28
TTC bub #2 in Feb 2006
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*Linda*
Junior Moderator
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 1554
Location: Mid North Coast NSW
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 1:55 pm Post subject:
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Oh Melody, that is so sad! It jsut seems so extreme - for anyone - but for a teenager? I hope he is strong and never gets influenced by any of it.
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Linda
Emma Joy 4/10/05
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Sarah_H
Senior Moderator
Joined: 04 Feb 2004
Posts: 7116
Location: Southwest Sydney
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:48 pm Post subject:
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Oh Mel, that's just awful.
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Canniel
Platinum Member
Joined: 19 Jan 2005
Posts: 563
Location: Country NSW
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:50 pm Post subject:
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Melody, that is really terrible, and to think there is his family out there remembering thier little boy in aeroplane pj's, and wondering why he was taken so young. It really pulls at my hearts string, and I pray that my child never sees that side of life.
my younger sis just turned 16 two days ago and she seems way to young to be able to get tangled up in that stuff.
Cold chisel brings back wonderful memories for me though, as a child my parents loved barnsey and it was always playing, especially in the car on holiday trips
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Sammi-j
Junior Moderator
Joined: 19 Jan 2005
Posts: 1571
Location: Pakenham, Vic.
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:40 pm Post subject:
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What a sad thing Melody!
I agree that it is so much different to when we were that age. I'm the same vintage as you and I can so remember bubblegum jeans and ra-ra skirts the first time around and how the music wasn't quite all so much about sex as much.
for you and I really do hope that your nephew and his friends can take this experience on board and learn that it is a road they don't want to travel.
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Thats terrible, and it is the harshest way for your nephew to learn.
I know its not the same thing, but it opened my eyes and opened the eyes to the right people,
My Aunty had always had back issues, always in mega pain, she started off on Panadol, then Nurofen, she then seperated from my Uncle (for other reasons) and shortly after fell pg with another guy (whom she was planning on leaving), Although she never told anyone(they never do) it became blantely obvious she was using, wearing long sleeved drugy shirts to cover the marks and other various symptoms. In the end it became to much for her and she took her own life.
She left behind 6 kids, ranging from 30 to her little boy only approx 6months and a huge group of family and friends. It was hard to deal with, but one of her daughters (she had 3 of them) who was around 23 when her mum died, was also believd to b using. It was like a slap in the face to her and snapped her out of the world she called her own and was, fortunately, welcomed warmly back into ours. She continues to do well.
Im sure your nephew will do the same thing, snap out of any thought of using anything, and prob even become a spokesperson for his mates if they use or are contemplating it.
I wish there were more people like you around, then we would all have someone who loved and cared about us to turn to, when in need.
Godbless all of you
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Drugs were around when I was 15, I never tried them but I think it wasn't as talked about back then, I think these days recreational drug use seems to be the norm which is really really scary and now is very much in our face with warnings and education which is needed. I saw alcoholism and drugs devastate my family and I think this was a valuable lesson, neither myself or my brothers have been involved in drugs and we are merely social drinkers. I am educating my 11 yo daughter about drugs now urging her NOT to even try them. I have 1 20 year old cousin who has a drug induced mental illness from using recreational drugs another cousin (he's 30) has the same from using heroin (and other drugs too). I remember one of my cousins at the age of 14 telling me she had already tried a number of drugs which was really frightening, although she now doesn't take any drugs at all. I can tell my daughters my experience having seen my grandmother succumb to alcoholism, she died when I was young but I have a couple lasting memories that would keep you away from alcohol. As much as it's a sad state of affairs at least I know what these drugs can do to a family and how much devastation it can bring.
Melody I'm sorry your nephew has lost his friend but hopefully (as some one has said) it will help be a valuable lesson to him and others.
