Choice to find out sex!

Hi there.

I just had an U/S and asked the sonographer if we could find out the sex. He said no - he wouldn't do it. Not because he may get it wrong but because it can be a major cause of post natal depression - if he tells them they are having a boy and they really wanted a girl. I don't see how this is the sonographers choice - i'm sure there is a freedom of choice and we choose to find out but now we have to wait till April.

Do you think it should be my choice?

Jacci

OMG Jacci... I cant believe he wouldnt let you find out the sex!! I have never heard of that happening before...

That is silly for him to say that finding out the sex at the scan is a cause of postnatal depression.. if anything it would give the mother/father time to get used to the sex of their baby and come to terms with before the birth...

I would be very angry if I were in your shoes... and would probably complain and demand another U/S, with a different sonographer, free of charge.
Although, I have no idea if its within the sonographers rights to refuse to tell the sex or not?

Jacci - I'd be requesting another u/s. It wouldn't take them long to have a look to tell you the sex.

I actually have heard of them refusing to say what the sex is. Never heard a reason for it tho. But I was told to ask when booking in a scan whether they will tell you or not, as some places don't. I think it's silly myself. But that's the world we live in I guess, some places may have had bad experiences with people blaming their PND on it, or suing them for all the pink things they bought, when it was actually a boy! heheh. I've no idea.

Perhaps your OB can have a look next visit.. if he has u/s equipment in his rooms. You should definitely have the choice to find out tho.

We nearly didn't find out, coz bubs was in the wrong position, but I'm glad he moved and flashed his bits. It's lovely knowing it's a little boy in there :) Hope you can find out soon. Otherwise... well.. I guess you'll be awaiting a lovely surprise!

omg jacqui that is terrible, but i seem to remember that happening to someone i knew :-k can't really remember but it rings a bell, i think she went elsewhere.

i needed to know with lani because of losing my daughter i had to prepare either way boy or girl, it for me made my pregnancy alot less stressful knowing that i had quite a bit of times dealing with emotions. i think if i had of waited until she was born i would have no doubt about it had post natal depression, as the weeks after i found out were very stressful and teary for me.

hope you can go elsewhere to get another scan

Jacci,

I would complain about this. It is your choice and no one should tell you what to do. I would complain and make them do it again to me at THIER cost!!

Who does this person think they are anyway?

yeah, go again... I realise with you being in the country area your choice of U/S maybe limited (been a long time since I've been down your neck of the woods), but do mention it to your Ob

We have our scan tomorrow and definitely want to know. Fortunately we are seeing our Ob immediately after the scan and is in the same office etc, so if the scan person won't tell the Ob can chase it up

that sounds ridiculous!! you are going to go through the same thing sooner or later if you REALLY wqant a boy or girl but dont get it.

i think he was just using an excuse to cover himself

Hi Guys,

I was thinking that wouldn't telling someone before they have the baby be a reason to stop post natal depression! really it would give htem time to adjust to the fact that there not having what they want - i really think his excuse is crap. Unfortunatly there is only one guy here in Portland that does it. Maybe i will have to travel to the next town and see if someone there will tell me.

JAcci

Hi Jacci
Your body.
Your baby.
Your choice.
How dare he refuse. I have never heard of knowing your babies sex being a contributing factor to PND. What rubish.
Also if you had the U/S done privately then the results belong to you.


Alan (Midwife)

Thats just so stupid.

I would have thought that it would be your choice!! Demand another scan!

xxx

I can't believe that Jacci!!!

If that had happened to us DP wouldn't have left the room until they told us!!! I don't see how they can refuse, we even got to record the u/s and take it away with us as well as the pics.

The first thing we said when we got in the room was that we were dying to know and DP says he spent the whole time waiting anxiously until she told us! When she said "I think it's a girl", DP said "How sure are you?" (typical guy) and she said "I wouldn't say anything if I didn't think I could tell". But I'm sure we did get some kind of disclaimer on all results of the u/s, not just telling us the sex.

BTW, we can also make out her gender on the video in a couple of places now we know what we are looking for (she spent a whole lot of time looking at the base of the spine). Don't know if that's any help to you though, especially not for #1!

Hi Jacci - just saw this post.

I can't understand the u/s tech's answer to this one. It sounds like a bit of an excuse really. Maybe he's just not very good at his job!

I think that finding out the sex of my baby was the thing that helped me to bond to him. I had the answer so I could just stop guessing and start thinking of the baby as "him" and referring to him by name which all helped me a lot I believe.

Tell your doctor about that silly, silly man. I'm sure he/she won't think it's right either.

Thats totally uncalled for!!

I would make a complaint against him if i were you!! Thats just wrong!!

Not saying it's right or anything but just thought I'd let you know that I've heard of a few places where they won't do a guess/determination of the sex of the child - haven't ever heard the "because of PND" excuse though - the excuse has usually ben "cause people get upset and agry toward the sonogrpaher if its not the sex they want" and others are worried about the consequences if they get it wrong.

Just thought I'd let you know its certainly not the first time I've heard of it

That is disgusting - you have every right to find out if you want to.

I've heard of sonographers saying that they can't tell just to cover themselves in case they get it wrong.