My Leukemia Journey

I was diagnosed with Leukemia in September last year. Funnily enough I'm only just accepting that I may not be getting better any time soon. So I've decided to diarise my journey from here. Firstly, I need to go back a little and explain how I got to where I am now. At a place of acceptance.

In July 2007, I got a bad cold which became a chest infection which I couldn't shake. It got so bad that could barely look after my four children. My husband took time off work. I'm a very driven person and I decided to just push on. Throughout July, August and September kept attending births. But these would knock me down for at least a week. Eventually I saw my GP for yet another lot of antibiotics. This time she did a blood test. The next morning at 7.40am I got a call from the GP's receptionist asking me to be at the office by 8am. Yeah! An easy task with four kids to get ready for school, and at least 20 emails and phone calls to return.

The GP saw me straight away, despite the fact that there were several other people ahead of me in the waiting room. I knew before I sat down. The other GP that worked at the office was there in the room and I just said "It is cancer isn't it" and the male GP just shook his head, looked at my four year old and said "I am so sorry". I drove to the local shopping center and went to the toy section. I needed some normalcy for my son and some space to make a few phone calls. I called my husband and asked hm to come home. I called my Mum and told her what had happened. Then I called my friend who s also a Doula, and we talked about how this could possibly have happened. I'm a vegetarian. Was just 31 years old.Don't drink,smoke or do any drugs. Never have. I'm a natural through and through. I spend my life keeping things as natural as possible. When my first child was born 14 years ago, I wouldn't even drink cordial during my labour. While the midwives were hell bent on getting an epidural into me n my 21st hour of labour, I was sticking to my guns. If I could do that, how could I possibly have cancer????

Treatment began that day. I kept working, but it was hard. It was a double edged sword. I couldn't live without being a Doula. But being a Doula could have been the straw to break this camel's back.

I was sick.

I got sicker.

First my hair went grey. Then it started to fall out. There were days when I would call my Mum and tell her I wasn't going to continue treatment. There were days when I would look at my kids and feel such overwhelming guilt. Not that I would not see them grow up. But that I would not be able to help them to grow up. Sometimes I just stayed inside and cried all day. Other days I needed to get out.

I got through two rounds of treatment. Then they told me I would probably get better. I took on more clients and life started feel worth living again. We moved into the city and I changed my focus in life. I left the ladder climb and the drive behind. Who needs it? I know I'm great, my family, friends and the people who matter know I'm a good person. Nothing matters. Just my health and my life.

Then... in February 2008 I got a cold and a chest infection which I couldn't shake. I saw a GP in March who looked at me and said "I'm so sorry". And so it started all over again. Only this time I stayed in hospital. The week I was discharged was Anzac weekend. On Anzac Day I felt overheated and clammy. I couldn't breathe. It took 6 days before I stopped breathing entirely. My DH rushed me to hospital on our daughter's 12th birthday. I was resuscitated and given an adrenaline shot. Not my finest hour. It was a wake up call. We women need to start putting our health first. I tried so hard not to miss my daughter's birthday, and in doing so nearly killed myself.

It is now 3 weeks since I went into hospital. I came home on Tuesday. I'm very bruised and very sore, but I'm still here! I start another round on Monday and I am not looking forward to it! I will come here and put my journey into words. And hopefully one day I'll be able to close the thread because I'll be cured.

Oh my...i have tears for you. You are such a strong women and im so sorry you have to go through this. My prayers and thoughts will be with you as you start a new round. I hope that this will be the final round and that you will be here for many many more years to tell your story *Hugs*.

... "Sydney Doula" through my tears I say to you "What a powerful woman you are" !!!!!!

Keep that strength within you, it's just so amazing ... You are honestly going to be ONE massive inspiration to ALL of us that read your journey ahead.

Just by reading your story YOU have given me just that much more of an insight to 'keep on keeping on' in being there not 100% BUT 500% there now for my 27yr old SIL who was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer only this March.

"THANK YOU" from the absolute bottom of my heart :heartbeat: in sharing your story & also in giving a part of yourself so unselfishly in possibly sharing your journey ahead with us all ...well, that's if you don't get bored with us here, LOL.

Chat away Sydney Doula, we are here to listen & also possibly learn from you in ways you may never know.

... Please accept this huge big HUG from me :hug: ... I'm ever so grateful to have met YOU on BB :)

I read your story and I thought "I so get you". I was diagnosed as 32 with breast cancer when I was 9 weeks pregnant. I had 6 months of surgery, chemo, and radiotherapy but I did not lose faith. To cut a long story short even though I had to lose my first darling angel to survive I now have 2 gorgeous, precious, amazing, miraculous children. I also am a "natural" didn't smoke, or drink was a gym junky and very healthy and fit. It's now 5 years since I was told "I'm sorry it's cancer" and whilst it's never far away I've won the battle and I'm determined to win the war and to never go back to that scarey dark place.

Stay strong, keep looking forward, tell your children that you love them everyday, hug your friends, enjoy the sunrise/sunset, pat your neighbours dog, just try and get every ounce of pleasure from every moment.

Hang on Sydney Doula and trust your body will fight back.:hug:

Thankyou Kimbaz, Smiles and Krisp! I'll be keeping you updated and keeping myself busy posting!

Sydney Doula- You are a very brave women sharing you journey.

Thankyou for being able to do so, and I hope this site (well i know the ladies here) will be there for you 100%

Hoping you can beat this soon and see you beautiful children grow up

Sydney Doula

What a courageous and amazing woman you are. Thank you for sharing your story, I will keep reading and supporting you through the days ahead and I will gladly celebrate with you the day this thread is closed because you are cured.

Spring

Hi Sydney Doula,my heart goes out to you and your family, hope your treatment contines to go well for you and your health returns.You are a very strong woman and i wish you the very best of luck. Our 8 year old son in 2004, had lots of chemo,before going through a bone marrow transplant,sadly he passed away,was the worst time of all our lives,but our little boy never complained,always had a smile for us.Keep your chin up and when times get tough think of your beatiful kids.:hug:

Sydney Doula - that story brought tears to my eyes but after fighting back the tears your story was so remarkable. You are a strong woman who is inspirational!

The sydney doula & other women on here who also shared part of their story my heart goes out to you all & i am sending many hugs your way :) Thanks you for sharing your stories

I went into the hospital on Monday. Thankfully we have moved house now so that we can be closer, which is great. I can drop the kids off at school and kindy, then go for my treatment.

I've had some bizarre symptoms since Monday. My hear is extraordinarily itchy. My scalp literally feels like it is on fire. I wonder if it is a reaction to my meds, or if I'm dehydrated? I saw the doctor yesterday morning and talked about my fatigue which is overwhelming me at the moment. It doesn't help that my 4 year old wakes up at 4.55am EVERY MORNING without fail. The stupid doctor gave me some great suggestions which are really practical!

First she said I should go and stay in a 5 star hotel for the night and get a room with a spa, maybe a massage, and just try to have a good sleep.

Then she said maybe my Mother or Mother In Law could take the kids for a week or so and give me a rest.

Well at the moment both suggestions are fairly outside the realms of reality. If we have a spare dollar it goes toward keeping this family fed and a roof over our heads.

The bad news is that I have mastoiditis.Its a nasty ear infection so today I'm going in to have a grommet inserted and part of the infected bone removed. Ouch! I have been promised a big bag of Snickers Pods when I wake up from the op, so my arm mis well twisted.

The hardest part of all of this for me is coordinating the child care,meals, cleaning etc I'm just too bloody sick sometimes to think about that stuff but feel guilty if I don't.DH is fantastic about it all but as with all guys he doesn't do things as well as me and I get annoyed. Then guilty again!

Sydney Doula,
Wow sweetheart... what strength it must have taken to share your story with us. Thank you so much.
I will truly keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers... I really want to see you close this thread!!!
I wish I could be closer so I could come on over and help you out.
Wishing you all the very best for your op today... I hope you enjoy those snickers pods (which are my fave too ;) yum!)
Huge hugs, :hug:
Lisa

Sydney Doula.... You are onestrong woman!

My heart and prays go out to you! You will beat this and you will be ok!

Stay strong and remember we are all here if you need us!

Sydney Doula, I sit here reading with tears in my eyes. You could so easily be any one of us. Any women alive, a mother with a handful of children to love, cherish and look after.

I am so very sorry you have been dealt this card. But, and this is not a but to be taken lightly, you sound like one hell of a strong and gutsy woman, who I am sure is this way because of the fight you have ahead. You WILL fight this cancer, you WILL survive it, you WILL kick it's ass. Why ?? Because you can.

We've already had a midwife on here kick cancers butt, so now it's your turn hun :hug:

Stay strong sweetheart. I too will be following your journey and look forward to the day you sign it off. :hug:

My heart really breaks for you reading your story. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Life can be extremely unfair at times. But I believe that you WILL fight this. You sound like such and amazing and strong woman. You are in my thoughts and we are all here for you if you need to have a talk at any time.

HUGE cyber :hug: :hug: :hug: for you!

Wow! What alot to go through, I am with you and am hoping and wishing that you are able to close this thread some time soon as you will no longer be ill!

HUGE HUGS to you!