The urge to push - before you're ready?

I really hope this isn't a stupid question...:redface:

I am pregnant with number 2 and starting to think about preparation for labour. With my first birth I had gas, pethidine and epidural due to DS' awkward position which resulted in the exact scenario that Kelly describes in one of her articles - prolonged labour, ineffective pushing, forceps and tearing, low blood pressure post delivery which resulted in my passing out, which meant DS had to go to the nursery because I wasn't allowed out of bed to tend to him if he needed me. I am not particularly traumatised by it but I really want to do it differently this time! Recovery from forceps is no picnic.

Now - I have no idea what the urge to push feels like and I'm absolutely fascinated by it. So many women have described it as the most amazing feeling. I have heard though that apparently you can feel the urge to push before you are fully dilated. Is this true? If it is true, how do you know not to push? Do you have to have an internal to confirm that you are fully dilated before you can start pushing?

Hi Curly I can't answer your post exactly the way you're looking for but there was a fabulous post a while back by another member with an excerpt of an article about pushing for first time mother's. Obviously this will be your second bub but you might find it just as useful (I saw it after my bub was born and it was still fascinating - made me realise I wasn't crazy going through labour, I just wasn't as educated as I could have been).

The link is Pushing for first time mothers.

I had an internal at 10pm saying I was only 8cm but I was already "feeling the urge to push" well I wasn't yet ready... DS was born at 11pm in five pushes - that pushing feeling was entirely different - I could feel him actually moving. Don't know how much of this makes sense, but once I read that article a lot of my time in labour made sense to me!


ETA: A good caregiver will know when you are ready without that internal exam... I requested one when i "needed to push" and it was excruciating, horrible and one of the worst parts of my labour. But she knew when i really did need to push and totally let me go with the flow.

A friend's baby was posterior so she felt the urge to push too early and swelled up her cervix. I didn't want the same to happen and Kelly said you can normally tell if a woman 'should' be pushing or not by the way she's doing at and the noises she makes. So when I felt the urge to push I decided that was the time to go to the birth centre so they would know if I should be or not. I didn't have any internals but based on my progress I was probably about 8-9cm then.
Check out spinningbabies.com for hints on optimal feutal positioning which will help with the labour and avoiding posterior positions.

I had no idea what i was doing during my first labour - consequently i tore heavily and consider it a bloody awful experience. So, like, you, i tried to be more equipped with info with pregnancy #2.

That 'urge' you feel to push is just the baby being very very low on your cervix..You'll definitely notice the REAL urge to push when you're almost or fully dilated. It feels like you have to take the biggest poop of your life and you'll die if you don't. LOL. Seriously.

Yep, midwives gave me an internal (one of many) to determine how far dilated i was.....all my pregnancies i had very short second stages of labour - so when i was given the go-ahead to push, baby usualyly came out straight away....I found the overpowering urge to push, when i wasnt fully dilated really hard. But with my two labours i really found focussing on my breathing helped.

Good luck...

I just wanted to add - similar to mbear i had a quick second stage - 8 minutes (by my reckoning - 18 according to hospital).

This is a great line from the article When she "pushes" spontaneously, does it begin at the very beginning of the sensation or is it just at the peak? If it is just at the peak, it is an indication that there is still some dilating to do. That first kind of pushing, it's like a grunt - by sound and feel, even sounds like mooing, like it's helping you get through it. The actual birthing push - you feel like your whole body is into it...

When i got the urge to push i told the midwife who checked to see how dilated i was.. i was fully dilated. The best way i can discribe the urge to push, and of course it is really not much of a comparison.. ok TMI warning maybe too!! But its when you have to do number 2's. If you hold off for a while to the point you just have to go and your body just wants to push it out.. well thats partly what its like, but 10 times stronger. It was a great feeling to push in a sense you feel like youre getting some sort of relief. But its a funny sensation that comes over you that you have no control really of.. if its time.. you just have to go with it. Once you have it youll know exactly what it is..

Best of luck hun.

When i was in labour with DS i got really bad urges to push so midwife told me to start and she relised that nothing was happening so she got doc in and she did an internal and i was only 4cm dilated soooooo they told me not to push but i still got the urge to push anyway this went on for over an hour while doc was tryin to put drip into my arm it took her an hour to find a vain anyway about 1/2 hr after she started the putting the drip in i said the urge was gettin harder to ignore and she just kept saying its not time so she finally got the drip in and did another internal and i was fully dilated which i knew already as the urge was wayyyyyyyy stronger and i could not fight it so i pushed and 7 mins later DS was born
As Kellxx said the feeling is like you have to do number 2's really bad but it still feels different IYKWIM....
Best of luck im sure you will know when its right....

Sarah

I was induced and when I was around 7 cms I had the urge to push and it was an uncontrollable urge. My midwife and DH kept saying don't push and I would focus on my breathing but then the urge would come again and there I was pushing away. I had an epi and then a c/s later on in my labour so I never got to feel the "real" urge, but the feeling I had was real enough and very tough to control. Iz was posterior as well and the result from pushing was a swollen cervix too. Good luck with it all - I hope you get the birth you are aiming for!

Ashleajayne what a fabulous article, I wish I'd read it before I gave birth to DS! Very informative and really filled in a lot of the blanks, thank you very much. :D

It seems that you all confirm what the article says - your body will tell you.

ETA: The birth I'm aiming for is really all about avoiding the forceps again! As long as I can do that I'll be a happy girl!

I had an epidural so not sure if my experience will be of any help but seems to be similar to the other stories posted here...

To me it felt like she was going to just come out, it felt like she was pushing herself out if that makes sense. The midwives had left me to have dinner as they said I still had a while to go. I told DH it felt like DD was REALLY ready to come out & to let the midwives know that I was having the urge to push.

The midwife came in all the while explaining that I still had a while to go before I would be starting to push, (sorry TMI coming up LOL) she had a "look" & before she had time to say anything she had called the other midwife from the doorway & they ran around like crazy grabbing things, then she was back saying that its time to push because she could see DD's head coming out LOL

4 pushes & she was born. I wasn't educated on breathing etc & ended up with a nasty 3rd degree tear so this time I'll be better educated & hopefully no tears (wishful thinking haha I'd be happy with a "smaller" tear than last time)

I suggest you speak up if you think its time, the worst that can happen is for it not to be time yet but if it is time you want them to be ready :)

I hope your next birth experience is a much nicer one than your last

With my first labour, I had an epi, so I too was a little worried/curious about what pushing actually felt like.
With my second labour, my waters were broken at 3am when I was 5cm dilated, and about 40 min later I felt that overwhelming urge to push. It was like I needed to do a massive poo! The midwife did an internal, I was fully dilated and my cervix was a little over bub's head, so she moved that out of the way, and I started pushing. She said to me to push with my bum, as if I was doing a poo. I could feel bub moving down, and she had been posterior right up until then, then she turned, and I felt that too. Very ouchie though!
Pushing is the most amazing experience I have ever encounted. I hope you're able to go through your next labour without the epi so you can experience that.