More VBAC questions and doubts..plus a vent....

I have done so much research and reading about vbac's and I know that for me it is far safer than a c/s, so WHY do I still doubt that I can do it? WHY am I focused on the tiniest risk of rupture when others risks are so much higher??

I had my midwife appointment today and we discussed everything AGAIN and she agreed it was safest BUT that they would book me in at 40 weeks for my c/s if I hadn't given birth by then. I asked if I could go longer, and she said, oh well the bigger you get the more risk of rupture...Um... won't I already be huge by then and another week won't make that much difference anyway?? She told me to discuss it with the ob in 4 weeks time. So is that standard?? Booked in for a c/s at 40 weeks??

I also had mothers group and one girl was processing her thoughts on a c/s (she had one with DS) and isn't even pg yet but was saying she would hate to go through 20 hrs of labour again only to end up in an emergency c/s. I didn't say anything but I would go through the 36 hours of labour I had with Izzy all over again even if there was a 1% chance of having a vbac.

Not sure where all this is going, I guess I just hate not knowing where to go from here, I will push them to let me go past 40 weeks but am wondering what my chances are now. Kelly posted the other day saying only 0.4% of babies are born before their due date so what are my odds of having a great shot at a vbac really?

Any suggestions or words or wisdom and encouragement appreciated ladies - I am feeling pretty down right now...DH came home to a :crying: mummy...all I want is not to have major surgery and I want to look after my 2 gorgeous babies easily without going through horrible recovery and pain.... :( Seems a little too much to ask right now.

No no no, you don't have to be boked in for a c/s at 40 weeks. Don't listen to them!!!!!! I was told (at nine days over) that the maximum the hospital can legally allow you to go to is 40 weeks + 12 days VBAC or not. That said, the midwife mentioned tht people have just not turned up for their induction (or elective c/s) so you can do that as well! There is no reason why you can't go past 40 weeks & try for your VBAC, my attempt was at 40 weeks + 10 days. Yes you are still growing at that point, but I don't think you'd grow *that* much more to make it a concern for rupture.

I totally agree with you that it is so worth it to try for a VBAC even if there is only a tiny chance that you'll get it. Athough I didn't get there in the end, I had a far far better experience this time than with my first birth. The knowledge I had from all the research helped with the labour & I knew in the end when I was on the way to theatre that I had done absolutely everything possibly could have, but circumstances meant my VBAC wasn't going to happen. After my first c/s I felt I had failed, it was all my fault, this time I don't feel like that, athough it wasn't a VBAC it was an EBAC (empowered birth after caesarean).

ETA: If you do end up having a c/s this time, you'll manage. I won't lie & say it's easy, but I don't think it's as bad this time as last time. At 4 weeks I am pretty well back to normal, where it took more than 6 weeks to feel better.

Oohh Tan, I'm sorry you are feeling down.

There is absolutely no reason why they should book you in at 40 weeks... how can they say that THAT is the exact date you are due?? Bubbas come when ready....

And for your self doubts - honey, try not to get hung up on the fact that you ended up with a c-section first time round. This is a different baby - and you CAN do it. Have faith in your body.

One of my midwives said that the most empowered and motivated women to try for a vaginal birth are the ones going for a VBAC - we know what we want, and we WILL do everything to succeed. We will not accept people not believing in us - believe in yourself.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

I CAN DO THIS. WE CAN BOTH DO THIS.

And if not, well we gave it a BLOODY good try then mate.

:hug:

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and she said, oh well the bigger you get the more risk of rupture...Um... won't I already be huge by then and another week won't make that much difference anyway?? She told me to discuss it with the ob in 4 weeks time. So is that standard?? Booked in for a c/s at 40 weeks??

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I think that it is always a good idea to go to ones care providers with clear Q's about wanting to see stats and facts about the "risks" the midwife mentioned.

For whatever reasons I had no fear of rupture, and it didnt cross my mind in labour, and I went to 40 weeks plus 12 on conception date. My lad was pretty big (10lb 10oz) but there was no mention from my caregivers about size and rupture? I did plenty of reading and didnt find that anywhere? Maybe it exists - or could be nothing more than an idea or old wives tale that she heard once and has remembered. If it is a fact - would be nice for you to see that from a good source I would think?

I guess the first thing that i would be doing is empowering yourself and asking why you are still worried about rupture. If you really are concerned - do you think that you will labour well? Trust and surrender is often required, without any doubts creeping in to put the lovely hormones aside as the fear takes over.Read some VBAC stories too?

Ask lots of Q and be sure that you feel safe with who is caring for you.
All the best!

Tan, honey :( :hug:

This:

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I would go through the 36 hours of labour I had with Izzy all over again even if there was a 1% chance of having a vbac.

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Tells me all i need to know. You want this, you REALLY want this, and if that is the case none of the hassle or stress is too much to bother with, because it is NEVER a waste or foolish to go for what we REALLY want, even if we don't get it. Failure to TRY is defeat, failure to succeed NEVER NEVER is.

The 40 weeks thing is by no means universal. It seems to have become the norm in some hospitals because there is a PERCEPTION that the risk of rupture might increase if the baby is over 4.5kg, and because so many mums are having big babies due to the obesity trends (actually obese mums are more likely to have iregularly sized babies, either under 6lbs or over 9lbs, with fewer falling into the middle range). However there are NO reliable studies on VBAC of macrosomic or twin pregnancies and the obvious "bigger baby = more strain on the uterus" assumption doesn't seem to ring true at all. Doctors are scared, basically, of rupture and of litigation. Some of the issue is because obesity seems to dfecrease VBAC success (i can't figure out why - a million factors, the rupture rate is not higher for obese women but the repeat section rate is!) and obesity is associated with 4kg+ babies, and i think Obs join the dots in their head and think "we'll take the baby out before it gets too big".

Have you considered VBACing at home? If you get a midwife who is experienced and comfortable in HBAC you will be able to avoid almost all of the weird hassles. They all have their own policies but most will keep a woman in their care to 42 weeks providing all is well. I don't know how far you are from hospital, but looking at the figures most "emergency" sections are performed more than 40mins after the decision one is needed. So if you can get to hospital in less than 40 mins (they will set up theatre while you're on your way) it's unlikely to make much difference to your outcome.

Because there is nothing reliable to say sectioning at 40 weeks changes risk factors you can tell the Ob that you will consent to a c-section when they tell you WHY you need one. NO-ONE needs to have a "just in case" section. They are a fallacy of the service. If you don't want one you needn't have one, and if it becomes a medical issue you will be able to ask for, and SEE, medical proof of that. If baby is in distress they will be able to show you the tones or give you the blood pH number. If you rupture his HR will go nuts and you will be in significant pain. These things don't happen at a magic numer of weeks.

He cannot MAKE you have surgery hun, no one can. You are in the best position to decide how to birth. Do you think your doctor cares more about your baby than you do? Follow your heart, trust yourself, you know what you want to do.

Bx

Thank you so much. :hugs: I spent the rest of last night researching, lurking other sites, googling and reading vbac articles and doing everything I can to reassure myself and am feeling a bit better today. One of the gorgeous girls at mothers group emailed me today and basically encouraged me and talked a little about the power of positive thinking and visualisation etc... as well as recommending a birth/exercise class that she did locally that she thinks also might help which I am looking into.

Sarah and Gudism - thanks ladies, I agree and was totally thrown by that theory and I know I am going to print off and arm myself with numberous articles highlighted to take to my next Dr's appointment in 4 weeks time. Any mention of 40 weeks and I am going to be asking for research and proof and will be adamantly letting them know they can book away but I won't be there!

MamaD - You have hit the nail on the head.... I need to be at peace with this and myself and need to work it all out prior to birth, I think the focus on rupture isn't really even a real fear but want I go back to when doubts raise themselves IYKWIM? Hence why processing here and elsewhere is really going to help = thanks so much for your thoughts hun.

Bec - I would love to have a home water birth, I really would. I keep looking at my lounge room and visualising a birth pool there, and giving birth here and then going to my own bed for cuddles and feeds with my little man. DH wouldn't and really is scared that if things start to go pear shaped and we have to transfer that that will be far more traumatic than either of us would like so I am thinking about it but the odds are pretty slim right now of that happening.

Thanks again everyone for your support and for letting me vent and get my thoughts out! I think this thread will be updated regularly with my thoughts and ramblings over the next few months.
Appreciate and love you all to bits lovely ladies! :hug:

Tan, I think in some respects that facing a VBAC can be a little scarier than just facing labour. I was quite afraid of the whole scar rupture too. What helped me immensely was doing a hypnobirthing course. It was amazing and I birthed my little bub in 3 1/2 hours - first labour as with my first it was a straight c/s as he was breech. I went 4 days over with him and there was never any talk of a c/s at any stage. I think that the main thing to remember is - no one can make you do anything you don't want to, it's your body. The only thing with a VBAC (well any birth in fact) is you need to keep an open mind as things don't always go exactly how we want. I had vacuum assist but only as he was in distress but that was the only intervention. Bottom line as I'm sure most would agree is bubs and mums health :)

Thanks Cass! I have been reading and researching and posting (gotta get off my soapbox!) but funnily enough I feel like encouraging others who are questioning whether to have a vbac or not helps me IYKWIM!!

I am starting Stretch and Relax classes this week and getting myself ready to be fit for labour! I have read New Active Birth about 4 times so I think it is time for another birthing book and am about to pick up my Pink Kit VBAC kit! I am SOOOOOO organised! :rofl: Now I just need this bubby to come out of my hoo haa! :) Thanks again for all the encouragement all!

We're in this together honey.. you and me.. supporting each other.. :hug:

Its scariest nearest to the end. You can do it!!!! The best thing I did in preparation was do relaxation exercises through hypnobirthing. But basically focusing on relaxing my muscles, especially my pelvic floor and cervix (jaw muscles & visualisation). Also having a birth support there.

You can do it!!! I just have to say you can :D I had massage and acupuncture near the end trying to encourage things along, especially ripening that cervix of mine ;)

I had my DD via a VBAC at 41 weeks. My OB did want to induce me by breaking my waters if I hadn't gone in labour by 41+3 but we managed to do it on our own.
You can do it, stay focussed, keep visualising in your head your baby moving down, turning and getting a beautiful position. See your baby swimming towards you, see your body working with your baby to open up and allow your baby safe passage.
It's OK to be scared, it's OK to have doubts, it's natural that you are second guessing yourself.
VBAC's are a wonderful, amazing and powerful experience.

:cheer:YOU CAN DO IT LADIES!!!:cheer:
:hooray:I can't wait to hear all about your beautiful VBAC stories Tan & Gudism:hooray:

Tan I have VBAC Companion if you want it.... I'd just need you to cover the postage costs, about $6.

Sounds great Sarah - not sure what it is but I want it! ;) is it a book? I will pm you now!!! :)