Going further!

After 6 months of seriously TTC (OPKs, CM etc) and getting nowhere - except increasingly stressed, depressed and OBSESSED! I went to my GP today for a referral. Got one to a Gyno in Gosford (NSW Central Coat) and was told that hubby needs to get checked out first.

I guess i'd like some advice from someone about what else I could be doing? Everyone else's advice seems to be "relax" and "it will happen when you're ready" or "i had not trouble falling pregnant" etc which does not actually help at all! I have tried temp charting but forget to take it when I wake up!

Any advice or support gratefully received!

Kyliejane

Hey Kylie,

I'm probably not the best one to help out but I do remember what it was like trying to fall pg and having people tell you those things. So annoying, isn't it?

I think you've done the right thing going to your GP and getting a referral. We managed to conceive naturally so I'm no good for advice on getting DH checked out but if its what the docs are telling you, go for it.

Stick with it... :hug:

I would suggest not rushing in to getting checked out. It's completely normal to take up to 12 months to get pregnant. The whole process of getting checked out adds a lot of stress to a relationship so holding off til you've been trying 12 months would probably be a good idea.

You need to remember that in each cycle you only have about a 20% chance of conceiving so that's why it can take a while. Some couples are lucky and fall quickly, but many don't.

I'd recommend you perservere with temping. If you keep at it you will remember to temp when you wake up. By temping I found I was Oing a little earlier than I would've expected and I also found I had a short LP. The best thing about temping is that you can use it to know when it's worth testing early and when not to bother (all that testing can get expensive, even with the cheapie tests).

One thing I can recommend to you is to try to eliminate trans fats in your diet. My ex and I suffered from unexplained infertility for years yet I had no problem conceiving with my DF once I pretty much cut trans fats from my diet (and I was a lot older so the odds were against us).

Research shows that transfats does appear to be causing infertility in some women. Google trans fats and infertility and you will see what it's all about. It's really easy to cut out of your diet by eating healthier and avoiding certain things like pastries, pies, donuts, biscuits, cakes, margarines and butters that are high in transfat (change to olive oil and olive oil spread). Some fast food is full of transfat, others aren't - it depends on what sort of oil they use. Some supermarket food is labelled so you can tell if it's in it but others aren't. If it's got very little transfat in it you will find they list it.

It may sound silly but I truly believe it helped me and trust me, I had tried all sorts of strange things over the years that never worked. Best of luck.

Hi Kylie,

Welcome to BB(if you are new here!)

There are plenty of thread on here with info on assisted conception and testing and all that kind of thing so I hope you have found them or some ladies from there come and post in here soon.

They say that it can take up 2 12months for a perfectly fertile couple to conceive so try to stay calm, I know its pretty much useless to say that! There are ladies on here that have lots of different lengths of trying some even over a year until they conceived, completely naturally so it can happen.

Not sure on you age etc if that has got your dr to give a referral, most drs wont do that until 12months of trying if your are under 30 (i think its 30). It sounds to me like you are doing everything possible and hopefully your appt with gyno will give you some good news! Either knowing what might be stopping you conceiving and telling you what you can do to fix it or finding that everything is fine and then its just the waiting game.

TTC, especially no. 1 can be a very stressful emotional time and I don't think anyone truly get the fact that you think about it pretty much 24/7 other than women who are in the same stage!! So I hope you find some great support and help on here! And best wishes with everything I look forward to seeing a bfp in your signature soon!!

Oh one thing I thought of is there is a new supplement guys can take when ttc I think its called menevite? Maybe google it? Also do you think you are ovulating?

Kylie- I know where your coming from. DD took us 16 months to concieve. We got told all that stuff bout relaxing etc, not helpful! I think we went to GP after 8 months cause I knew something was up.
I got sent for bloods and Df got sent for sperm analysis. Ended up being a low sperm count with Df.

So get your basic checks done but still keep trying as you are, it may happen while you are waiting. I know they say wait 12 months but like you its too long a wait! I thought to myself better to find out earlier than later if there is a prob.

Kylie - sorry you have reached the part of the ttc journey where it becomes frustrating. And I agree 'relax', 'it will happen' etc doesn't really help at all (just made me even more frustrated that poeple didn't understand me).

I found taking my temp really helped pinpoint my fertile day/s. Until then we had no idea and I think we were missing the egg. Yes it is a pain in the butt but I found it really helped.

I also second Satya re: diet. The last two times I have conceived were actually when I had a cold post ovulation and didn't want to take any medication. Instead I was eating heaps and heaps of garlic (good antioxidant) and drinking honey & lemon drinks each night - also got stuck into the oranges too. Vitamin C is very important for both mother & developing bub so even though i haven't had a cold since...I've still been eating heaps and heaps of Vit C fruits. so far so good.

I also had a short luteal phase and was taking Vitamin B6 (on top of Blackmores conceive well). I would think twice about taking b6 unless you know you have a short lp.

Am sure you have probably already cut out or cut down on caffeine & alcohol. I only used to have 1 coffee per week and alcohol in first half of cycle only.

Me personally, I also changed to a low gi diet (not to fall pg but to hopefully carry this one to term). I had always had skin problems and did a bit of my own research - started the diet back in Nov and haven't looked back.

See if your DH can take a multivitamin (perhaps Vit C & Zinc on top of that too). My DH was pretty hopeless with that though. Until he had a semem analysis and got not so good results. We didn't panic about it though (even though ob was giving us 3 more cycles before IVF).

I really really sympathise - it's soooo frustrating. I really hope it happens for you and your DH soon. Take care and sending you lots and lots and lots and lots of babydust!!!

Hi Kylie

Firstly, welcome to BB, you will hopefully find everything you ever wanted to know about pretty much anything here on BB (big call I know - but these people never let me down in the info stakes)

I am guessing from your name that you are 30/31 (1977 was the very best year to be born in LOL!). I know that there is no point telling you to relax etc as I have been there too. So, instead I am going to ask a series of questions and please feel free to yell "yes you stoopid woman - of course I am doing that!"

Did you have a preconception checkup with your GP and get your bloods tested? These will have shown up any serious issues.
Do you have a regular cycle or does it move about a bit?
Are your OPK's showing that you ovulate at the same time in your cycle each month? And is it at about the "right" time (ie you don't have a long or short Leuteal Phase)
Are you charting your temperature using fertility friend or a similar program? this i a fantastic way of knowing what your body is doing and is really easy.
What type of contraception were you using before you started TTCing? I only ask because you said 6 months but didn't say how many cycles - sometimes some contraceptives muck you about a bit when you first come off them.
Are you and DH having regular sex outside the magic day? Again I only ask because sperm have a shelf life so need to be "moved along" regularly to stay healthy. They also survive up to 7 days in optimum conditions so can be ready and waiting for you to ovulate if you know what I mean.
Are you and DH both relatively health, eating well, taking your supplements etc?
Do you in your heart of hearts think that there may be some sort of problem? I always trust women's intuition and so if you think there is really something wrong deal with it but if it is only that longing in your heart then I would give it a little longer.

I know that the last 6 months will have seemed like they are the longest ever and you are probably able to tell someone what day in your cycle you are before you would know what the date was but it has only been 6 months. But if you and your DH are both "optimum" candidates for conception then there is less than 20% change that you will conceive in any month and that doesn't mean that by 6 months everyone has done it - it just means that you were in the 80% every time.

Do, yeah it is perfectly normal to take up to 12 months to conceive without even thinking about there being a problem and as you are still young (I keep telling myself that!) I really don't think that there is any need to go rushing out for tests.

Thanks so much for everyone's replies...they mean so much. All my friends seem to be pg or have babies atm so its wonderful to be able to talk to someone (other than hubby and my mum). I'll try to provide a bit more info/answer some of the qns...I REALLY appreciate all the suggestions. Keep them coming!!!:D

I'm 30.5 yrs old (yep 77 was a good year :D) and have been married 15 months. I had my implanon out 2 years ago and have not been on any contraception since (i made hubby take care of it! :D) I have never paid much attention to my cycle before TTC. AF is usually fairly light and only lasts 3-4 days - but AWFUL period pain. I had checks for this 5 years ago and my uterus looked OK then!

For the last 10months we have not been using any contraception at all (no condoms basically) but didn't know my cycle and was not DTD much in the right time frames. For the last 6 months have been tracking cycles using Fertility Friend - but not temping - OPKs and CM etc. My first 3 cycles (Jan, Feb, March) were all 28 days spot on - and Ithink they were like this before as AF always arrived on a Saturday (handy with the cramps). Cycle 4 (April)was 34 days - which just got my hopes up! And C5 (may) was 33 days (also hopes raising) Am now on Day 16 of cycle 6 with a positive OPK day 14 and pains (which may have been ovulation?)day 15. Not sure about CM this cycle? I take a pregnancy multivitamin and do Weight Watcher Points program (mostly) ...but will now cut out any transfats! I have given up caffeine (sob...diet coke) and alcohol (mostly :shhh:) and exercise regularly.

I have no rational reason for worrying about conception...but I want it soooo badly. I have lived a blessed life. A wonderful family, husband, friends, job....I guess I feel that something has to be hard?or go wrong? And I am petrified that it will be having children. I have also seen a clairvoyant (shame) and she told me I would have trouble TTC and need "a little bit of help" and have twins EEK...I don't actually take this seriously!

I know patience is a virtue and that TTC can take time. I'm just not getting any younger and I would like to have 3-4 kids? I feel like going to the docs will help me "take control" of whats happening (BTW did I mention I'm a perfectionist control freak!:lol:

Thanks for listening...just putting it all down helps to give me some perpsective.

Kylie