I am going crazy with toilet training! Help!

My second daughter is two and a half, and toilet trained beautifully about three months ago. She could tell when she had to go, wanted to go on the potty, etc, etc,. In a very short while, she was taking herself to the potty, getting her own pants off, getting on, peeing, and trying to wipe and flush on her own. And now, suddenly, she won't. She is peeing in her underwear 5-10 times a day. And pooping. 2-4 times a day. This started about 2-3 weeks ago.
I catch her mid-way through the pee, and run to the potty, and put her on, and try to get her to stay there for as long as I can. (give her a book to look at) She'll sit and then insist that she is done, and jump off, and 10 minutes later, there is another big puddle on the floor. (or couch, or chair.....) I didn't know she could hold soooooo much! :wall:
I ask her MANY times a day if she has to go. The answer is ALWAYS no. I try to sit her on the potty when I think she needs to go. Occasionally that is successful. But that's training me, not her.
She has no fear of the potty, and she is very able to tell when she has to go (we were doing it just fine.) She is just deciding not to. This is incredibly exasperating! She pooped in her underwear twice this morning, followed by 4 pee accidents. Then we went to my sister's house, (immediately after an accident and a potty trip) stayed there for 45 minutes, and did a potty trip just before we left. Too late. Then we ran a quick errand in town, during which she pooped in the store.
Really, I am at a loss here people! I've been consistant with this - she's never worn diapers or absorbant pants since we started training. I am ready to put her back in diapers for a while. I feel like I can't fight this - if she doesn't want to, I can't make her! I can't make her pee when she's on the potty if she decides she's not!
I read Pinky's article about training, and honestly, I laughed. The dear woman is welcome to take DD to her house for a week and see what she can do. I got the pretty undies, it's summer time here, and she was definitely physically ready.
So, should I maintain the consistancy, and continue with the training, and keep her in underwear, or, is it time to get the nappies out again? Or do you have another great suggestion? I've considered a reward chart with stickers, but with DD1 that worked for a couple of days, and then the thrill was gone. :help:

oh hugs to you you muist be so frustrated..
its hard when they are just so determined.. as hard as it is i would stick with the undies if you can.. after working in childcare and tt lots of littlies when they get put back in nappies they just get confused and toilet train much later than they would have originally.
how long was she going to the toilet for? can you think of anything that happened or that is different now? i spose youve probably thought of all that sorry!
id try the reward chart, maybe itll be different then it was with dd1 u never know.. is there something she really wants? it could be get so many stickers n u'll get that bribary usually works.. maybe a congratulatory small book or present each time she goes on the toilet for a little while?

i personally think it is a phase. My DS3 did this.. he trained himself yet a few months later was weeing and pooing all the time.. I was being driven insane especially as we had a new baby too..

I just said to him.. If you continue to wee and poo in your pants I will put a nappy on you. I also got him to help clean up the mess he made.. He stopped after a few weeks.. but it was so frustrating..

*noni*e* - yes I think we will try the reward thing and see if that improves matters.

aussienic - I'm seriously considering the nappy thing, but I really think she wouldn't care. And if she did, she can take them off herself. (tonight I put her to bed with a nappy on, as usual, and she pooped in it, (4th poop today - where is it coming from!!!) and took it off. Poop on the floor. One last hurrah for a stellar day.)
As far as cleaning it up with me, I think she'd enjoy that too! And, heavens only knows where the poop would end up then!
My mom suggested giving a little treat after each successful potty trip - I don't like giving candy - got any good suggestions? She likes to eat!

When we were getting Jacob to go to the toilet we offered him a milky way at the end of the day (small choc bar) but maybe you could offer to go to the shops and buy a book or a toy car or something like that. It doesn't have to cost much.. but say we can only go if you stay dry and clean all day.. but you have to follow through.. and if Jacob didn't stay dry or clean he simply didn't get the treat. Sure he carried on but we didn't give in.. (hard to do)

I think sometimes you have to be very firm and simply say it how it is.. I also pointed out how his baby sister wore nappies and how little she was and how big he was. I didn't come out and say he was a baby or anything but implied it kwim??

Yes, Nic, I totally agree. I do my utmost to be firm, and consistant, and never to make a "threat" or promise that I won't carry through on. Which is why this is so difficult!
Anyways, tomorrow is a new day, and we'll try a treat for clean dry undies, I guess.

:hug: I hope tomorrow is a much cleaner drier day for you.. It is one of the most frustrating things.. Especially when they look they are doing great and then they take this step backwards..

DD2 did just this. As soon as DS came home from hospital.
I put her back in nappies til she was ready. She started daycare last week in undies & has been in them since.

Cricket, big hugs. Believe me, I know how frustrating this is. J is perfectly capable of using the toilet, but still goes through "phases" where he will wet/dirty his undies a few times a day. I think it is an emotional thing, rather than physical - he is either being defiant or showing that he's upset about something (I think!). In any case, it is very frustrating.

Personally I have avoided going back to nappies. I think that's counterproductive. We use positive reinforcement when he uses the toilet - and day care do this with him too. And I try not to make a fuss when he has an "accident" ) (or "deliberate" as I call them)!. He also sometimes gets a reward for having clean undies all day - usually it is that he can play with his favourite plane before bed.

Went through a similar situation with DD1. Every morning we would ask her "nappies or undies". She would choose undies and we would explain to her that undies means that she goes to the toilet or the potty. Every morning she would say yes, but the accidents continued. Well I should not say accidents, many were very deliberate. In the end I had had enough, I warned her that if she wee'd on the floor again she would be put into nappies. Well she wee'd on the floor again, a very deliberate one, so I grabbed her, explained what I was doing and put her back in a nappy. She absolutely screamed, I hated doing it, but I felt at that stage I had no choice, rewards, bribery etc just had no effect. Well it had the desired effect, the next day she went to the toilet each time. We still have the odd accident, tends to be if she is very engrossed in something, but at least they are not deliberate any more. Good luck

Just thought I'd give an update - we tried rewards here, with a small bit of success. I told her she could have a little gummy worm (had 'em in the house from ????) for every pee on the potty with clean dry underwear. That was inspiring for a day, about. Then, it was back to the same old thing. :( And Elyse (DD1) found out where I was hiding the treats, and ate them all. :wall:

However, yesterday and the day before were two great days - she took herself to the potty, stayed clean and dry, it was lovely! Today, not so great - wet underwear twice this morning, and a poop just after lunch. But, it's still a little better than the previous two or three weeks, so I'm really hoping we're on the upswing here, and this phase is coming to an end! (please!)

Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions - I really appreciate them ladies! :)