2 yo behaviour

Ok I am really struggling with my DD's behaviour at the moment, most of the time she is the most gorgeous, funny, witty, clever little girl- then without warning Torando Tori appears and she is almost impossible to deal with.
Most of our issues are about her hitting, yelling at,snatching toys, laying on top of (anything that will be annoying), her 6 month old brother. I know most of it is about being 2 and finding her independence, but her poor little brother has to suffer through it. I always give a warning about her behaviour and try to distract, if she continues I use time out, but she thinks this is a huge joke and laughs at me. Recently she has started spitting, so when she gets into trouble she spits at us :wall:.
I have tried ignoring her behaviour and dealing with her upset brother, but that makes things worse. I have tried warning about the behaviour and then distracting with a game together, sometimes it works, other times she gets cross because DS comes over to investigate.
I think things have gotten a bit worse recently because DS has started crawling, and I am wondering if she feels like her space is being invaded, and also some of her toys have to stay away until he is sleeping otherwise he tries to eat the pieces.
I dont believe in smacking, I can hardly tell her not to hit her brother and then smack her, I also dont think putting her in her room is a solution, because I dont want her room to be somewhere she associates with being in trouble.

Any ideas how I can get her to understand that being in trouble is not funny? What are some other toddler friendly disciplines?

I am going out today to get Pinky Mckays Toddler Tactics, maybe I will find some ideas in there.

Does she have a favourite toy? Maybe take that away for the rest of the day. A reward chart is an option if she can comprehend the concept.

Ali, I can totally sympathise with you. But unfortunately I don't have any words of wisdom! Marley has taken to hair pulling and pushing, but only Chelsea, not other kids (which is good I suppose??). If Marley has hurt Chelsea, I try to focus my attention on Chelsea and ignore her (one of Bath's suggestions) and that usually stops things pretty quickly because she hates feeling left out. But as you said, it works sometimes and not all the time. Let us know if you find anything interesting in the book.

Toddler Tactics is brilliant. I really love it.

There is no doubt that the terrible twos and threes are tough. We have two going through it atm and I swear I will be totally grey before the year's end! I am sure that you know that it is important to be patient, and try to help her deal with her feelings in a more constructive way. And to talk to her about her feelings. I'm sure you also know that it's easier said than done!! All I can really do is to offer you big hugs, and let you know that you are not alone. At least once this period is over, things seem to settle down for a while. Then it all starts again when they are teenagers :rolleyes: .