What to do, needing some reassurance.*long*

I am really struggling at the moment with Ds sleep!

We were co sleeping all night till about 4 weeks ago, now Ds goes to sleep in his cot then into our bed when Dh goes to work at about midnight. He slept through at about 6 weeks for about a month! So he has never been a big sleeper! And 9 months of continual broken sleep is really starting to drain me!

The problem is he wont stay asleep! Now i know some kids dont need much sleep and he is sleeping for about 3-4 hours from when he goes to bed! This is great but i am not getting much sleep from about 10 onwards! He is always re settled on the breast or rocked in my arms!His day sleeps are only little ones about 40 mins and he is having maybe 3?

i really want my gentle parenting ways to be rewarded with a child who sleeps well so that all the people who have said they must cry it out will be wrong! I am questioning my parenting and wondering if this has contributed to his sleeping, I cannot see how loving and being kind to my child would make him not sleep though!

Ds never ever slows down! Right up to when i am feeding him to sleep he is still jerking and moving his arms around! He is definitely a live wire!
We desperately want many more children but i dont know if i could cope having 4 of him! This is really making me upset cause i want him to have brothers and sisters! but at the moment it looks like we will be having just him:(

My heart says i am doing the right thing but my brain is saying i need way more sleep! He is a happy child and is never sooky or cranky!

thanks for taking the time to read my vent/cry for help! I hope it makes sense i am very sleep deprived! x

boomba
i am probably no help as we are no co-sleepers and this was because i found when DD was baotu 3 months that we woke her more than she woke us and she wouldnt have a solid sleep.
So we put her into her own cot. even now if she wakes at 3am and we bring her into our bed she thinks it is just play time as she is close to us and not sleep time...

i cant really offer any help on the cosleep situatoin but take comfort that not all subsequent children are the same, and i you are a wonderful mummy!

Gee I wish mine was never cranky or sooky!!!!

And if it makes you feel better, I can count the amount of times DS has slept through the night on one hand... :(

Guess I must be insane for having another one.. lol

:hug:

No advice, but plenty of sympathy!!

Oh Amber- ya poor chook. Sleep deprivation is cruel form of torture.

To begin with you are doing a great job. As you said he is a happy boy.

Our sleep has been really on and off lately. It's tough being 9 months. In our case, they are on move, learning so much, trying to walk, learning to talk and on top of all that they have sore gums, sore ears, the list can go on!
Not sure if M is teething, but our restless nights seems to conincide with a tooth. (Which has been ongoing since 5 months! ;) )
You have done so well to get him doing a stint in the cot. Baby steps. He will improve. Does he come in when DH leaves b/c he wakes him up getting ready? Will he not be settled in his cot? Co-sleeping is great if it works, but it doesn't work for us. We continually wake each other up. And she needs resettling every sleep cycle. Where as i find in her cot, she sleeps much longer. If he is sleeping better in his cot, can you put him in the cot in your room, so you don't have to go to far to settle him?

We only have 3 x 40min sleeps some days. Sometimes it is only 1, 1.5hr sleep!
Not ideal, but i don't stress about it, i just try and encourage longer sleeps. When she first stirs i often pop in and pat her back and she'll sleep for another cycle. But not always.

Like 'No cry' says. If your new method isn't working, go back to the old way, but try again the next time. It may take a few weeks, but they will learn.

It will get better. Truely. I am hoping once Lu is walking properly she will be so exhausted she sleeps all night! Here's hoping anyway!

You are doing a great job, you really are a loving and caring mum, and it will pay off. don't doubt yourself, keep up the good work. :hug:

Thanks girls!

Ange we tried having the cot in the bedroom but that didnt work! i think he senses Dh leaving and thinks its time to play! I am able to resettle him right up till Dh goes but after that he it can take up to an hour to settle him back into his cot! Like you said i too am hoping once he starts to walk he will be so exhausted(fingers crossed anyway)

I supose it has just all come to the surface and and i just want a decent nights sleep! I know he will get there in the end!x

:hug: Big hugs Amber, you are doing a great job! I know how hard the sleep deprivation thing is, it's sooo draining.

How do you settle M when he's in his cot? Does he settle if you pat him? The reason I ask is, could you try sleeping in his room for a few nights (maybe put a mattress on the floor?) and whenever he wakes you could just reach over and pat him (or whatever it is that works for him) off to sleep? This may help him to go through to the next sleep cycle by himself. I did this with K during the day because he would only do one 40 minute cycle for a nap, and he eventually worked out how to sleep through the cycle all by himself.

I really hope you find something that works for you soon :hug:

You're doing a fab job. I could have written a lot of your post myself - I have a few posts in the no-cry sleep area with LOADS of advice in which didn't work for me but may work for you.

DS now sleeps through really well, we took him to the homeopath. He not only sleeps well but acknowledges that he's tired too now, before he'd just go and go and go and... drop. Now he starts to yawn, exhibits normal tired behaviour like wobbling on his feet and forgetfulness, he calms down around bedtime, he gets tired like a normal person! He also goes to sleep just holding a finger belonging to either DH or me and then that's it for the night. He doesn't need much sleep but usually gives us about 11 hours overnight then maybe an hour or so in the day. That's "too little" for a toddler but everyone's different.

Your reward isn't a baby that sleeps as a tot but a child who is secure in their parents' love: this will pay off big time as your child ages.

You are doing a great job you poor thing.

He is over tired and so is mumma. If he is a busy little thing and tries to tell you he doesn't need sleep - don't listen to him, it's all smoke and mirrors!
The busiest ones need the MOST amount of sleep, and are the easiest to get overstimulated.

Maybe try this. Tomorrow (or even tonight) get him ready for bed 30min before you would usually put him down, turn down all the lights and get all snug on the floor and read quietly. He may also be the kind of child (like mine) that cant handle too much input (even rocking to sleep actually might be keeping him awake). She is also a light sleeper and wakes up when I walk into the room :(.

Maybe a quiet cd in his room and settle him in the cot, maybe patting him on the bum, not looking at him too much (!) instead of rocking him.

I've been sleep deprived for years ;), and one thing I have learnt with unsettled kids is when they are overtired you should try to get them to bed earlier - even if they are bushy-tailed. Get them sleepy BEFORE they get tired iykwim?

My 2 yo has been giving me heaps lately, waking all through the night. In desperation I bathed and fed her really early and she was fast asleep (no fighting me) at 6.30pm, and slept through the night :dance:.
If she doesn't get to bed by then, she will be unsettled until 9pm and will wake a few times in the night......

Good Luck tonight xoxoxox

Thanks ladies!

Last night we started his bed time earlier than usual and he went off to slepp really well! Tonight was about the same and he is fast asleep!

:

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Your reward isn't a baby that sleeps as a tot but a child who is secure in their parents' love: this will pay off big time as your child ages.

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What beautiful words of wisdom Rosehip thankyou x

Lulu maybe your rigt on the rocking thing he does seem to stay awak and fight it if i rock him? I put him in his room when its really dark so he knows its time for bed! If he fights it i dont take him out i just try to calm him! Have started trying to just pat him on the bum so i dont need to keep feeding him back to sleep!

Fingers crossed tonight is the start of a beautiful sleeper! Thank you so much girls it really means a lot!
xxx

:hug: to you Boomba! First off you are a great mother, don't ever think differently. I have been witness to your beautiful happy child!! :)I am glad to hear that your night last night was better and hopefully tonight is too.

I don't have any advice with the co-sleeping because we didn't do it. I found for us early on we both kept each other awake more than we got sleep. I agree 100% that overtired children sleep much worse than if they got to bed earlier, dd is a prime example every time she stays up late we think oh yes, we are in for a sleep in and it is just not the case, she usually wakes during the night and is up very early whereas when she gets to bed around 6:30 it's a good solid sleep until around 7.

I hope you get the sleep that you need! I can totally sympathize with feeling sleep deprived these days and it's no good for anyone.