Co sleeping safely how to, please help??

Morning,

Could somebody please help with co-sleeping how to do it safely?? My 3 week old will only sleep on me in an upright position so I need to figure out how to co-slep so I can get some sleep too as am going mad sometimes only have 1-2 hours sleep myself as she has really bad wind. Everyone has different opinions on what's safe...I've been told she shouldn't sleep in our bed as my partner smokes so is not good for her i guess smoke may come off his clothes/hair into the bed?? Others have said I need sleep and the risk of this would be reduced as he smokes outside and washes hands etc before handling bub & going to bed. I've been told not to put a pillow on the edge of the bed as she can smother herself, but then someone advised to use a pillow to stop her falling off the bed....what the heck is the best way to do it??? Different people say different ways which I find really confusing and don't know what to follow. My first bub and am paranoid please help!!

Hi,

The Australian Breastfeeding Association has a fabulous pamphlet - "Sleeping with your baby" It only costs a dollar or so!
Babies are designed to sleep with their parents. 3 weeks ago she was in your tummy, listening to the sounds of your heartbeat and breathing,being rocked by your movement, and never needing to feel hungry. Now she is on the outside, the closest she can get to "home" is at your breast, or on your chest. The first 6 weeks or so are tough - but it gets better.
Your partner smoking is a complication - but there are ways to get around it. Your baby may benefit fom his own sleep space but right next to you. Many mums have found the armsreach co-sleeper very good for this. You can also get them through the Australian Breastfeeding Association - follow the link in my sig and go to their online store - Mothers Direct
Warm Regards
Barb

Re the smoking thing - I don't think washing his hands is enough (because smell will be on his clothes) - may need to have a shower & change clothes?

When DS has slept in our bed (which is only on occassion), I lie him in the crook of my arm, next to me on the bed. I put the covers over him - but not up near his face. I also put him on the outside of the bed (ie. not in the middle where the covers can be pulled up over his face). This works ok because I would feel if he tried to roll out etc - but I guess if I was a really heavy sleeper it might not work so well. Also, your arm goes dead after a while (but then, I don't do it every night - just if we are having a particularly bad time).

I know other people put bubs in the middle of the bed (ie. between them), but on top of the covers. They then wrap bubs up warmly in their own coverings.

I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that co-sleeping with a smoker was dangerous because they tend to sleep differently to non-smokers - more soundly I guess, and so aren't as aware of the baby in the bed. Could you buy another mattress for your DP so you and bub have the bed?

I co sleep with bub in the middle but no smokers, I know of a few people who brought a kid rail that you would usually use with and olderchild to stop them rolling out, they put it on there bed and bub sleeps on that sider next to mum only.

Maybe you could do that. Hope this helps.

When dd was a nb I slept with her strapped to me in a hubabub. This kept her close and upright (she had wind and reflux) and I slept because I knew shw was safe from falling off me

Have you seen those little beds u can get that go in your bed? It's a little thing with walls and it has a little dim light u can use. I think I will buy one next time. With Noah he slept in the nook of one of our arms for a little while, would start in his pram (basinette) next to our bed and we'd put him in with us if he woke and wouldn't settle

Thank you everyone who has replied with advice, I appreciate it! :) My partner does change clothes before bed and sometimes also has a shower which is why the materal nurse reckoned the risk of his smoking to bub would be reduced. It's reassuring to know that others think along the same lines that she was in my tummy not long ago and is looking for the comfort of my heartbeat....with you guys advising that you either slept with your own bub or that it is ok I feel better as some people were telling me not to sleep with her cause it would create problems later on and blah blah....I just got my partner to go down and buy a hubabub today and was considering putting her in it to sleep as then I don't have to wake up continually to make sure I'm still holding onto her to stop her falling, now I know BekZ used the hubabub I feel more confident and will use it tonight!! :) I haven't seen the little beds that go into the bed but I'll look into them as well. Again thank you very much to all who replied it really helps to have other mum's advice not just nurses etc who may not have kids themselves. I'll sleep a lot better tonight with her strapped in my new hubabub....she's in it now as I'm typing, she's asleep and loving it so I'll get a good night sleep tonight too now feeling more secure with her 'strapped' in/on me....happy baby....happy mum!! :)

Sweet dreams:)

Hope you get a great night's sleep! While I didn't sleep with DD in the bed often as a little baby I usually did when she was sick or not settled. Worked beautifully to get us BOTH some great sleep. I adored the feeling of having her right beside me all night and when she wasn't I would wake up in a fright looking for her. So I figure it must be natural.

Ever since she's been old enough to get up in the night herself we've had coming in our bed (goodness knows what time she climbs in, she never disturbs me) and I still love sleeping with her beside me.