hes driving me nuts

My little ds2 is 13 months, and is the most loving little boy until he wants something or doesnt get his own way, he will screem at the top of his lungs if he want some thing like if he is in his high chair and he wants more of something and it isnt a cry scream its a yell throaty scream, he can say ta and will if you hand him something or if he hands you something and im trying hard to teach him some signs to help him comunicate but i just dontknow what to do. i have tried to ignore him but then he will get upset and yell louder,
Please help me, my first ds was never like this.:(

Hi there

My DD is the same but I like to put a positive spin on it and just tell myself that she's determined. She will scream blue murder if I take anything off her (like my mobile phone) even if I've let her play with it for 10 minutes.

Most of the time she is a very easy-going little thing so I try not to let these episodes get to me. Even though we had a lot today!

I've had so many people tell me how inquisitive and alert she is that I just see these 'tantrums' as an offshoot of that.

I saw the same thing with my sister's children. Her first was very placid and she thought it was a good thing that she could prop him in front of a dvd and not hear a peep, whereas her second was a lot more inquisitive and instead of watching a dvd, she would try to open the player and see how it was all working. Personally, I think an inquisitive child is much more preferable even though it sure can make the day challenging!

Sorry for the double-post, I forgot to say that I find that distraction works best. So if she wants something that I won't give her or if I take something away that she can't have, I try to get her interested in something else because, as you know, ignoring them just doesn't work.

I agree that if its possible, diverting their attention to something else, or giving them something else to hold/do. I had the same thing with DD#1 being the placid obedient one :lol: and now DD#2, who is only a couple weeks older than your munchkin....................well whatever is not supposed to be touched, pressed, pulled apart etc etc etc, that's where I'll find her...........over and over and over and over and over and over............etc ;)

So with DD#2 we have picked a phrase that we will repeat - for eg, she loooooves pressing the dishwasher buttons :rolleyes: so we will pick her up, move her away and say, "Stop. You mustn't press buttons......" still seemingly falling on deaf ears btw, however, I found with DD#1 that using the same phrase allowed her time to catch on to what we were saying iykwim? So am hoping that this will eventually catch on second time around.

I like to look at it the was fionas does too.......DD#2 is a strong willed, confident and inquisitive little being.......but I tell you what!! Good thing she's cute!! Coz crikey she can certainly find my buttons!! :D

I think its great that you are doing the signing........so all I can think of atm, particularly for the high chair tantys......with DD#2, when she cracks it coz she wants something, I ask her to say please and if she doesn't, I actually help her do it - so I take her hand and say please for her if that makes sense. I think this helps with making the connection as being so young, its a reinforcing training time atm. Then I fully praise her up (even though I helped her do the sign) to help reinforce that she has done a great thing by using her manners.

hth lovey :)

Oooo yes, the dishwasher buttons are a fave of my DD too Charlyfrog.

Now half the time I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I guess I only try to stop her doing stuff that is actually dangerous to her and she knows what I mean when I say "careful" because she will slow right down and turn around to look at me.

If she's just doing stuff that is vaguely annoying like taking all the books from the bookshelf, taking washing out of the basket or taking stuff out of the drawers, I just let her be. If she was ripping books up, that would be different but she just likes taking out books and then she will turn the pages.

If I tried to stop her doing all the things she wants to do, I would be a nervous wreck and she would be a very frustrated little girl so I choose my battles.

As I said, I have no idea if that's the right thing to do and maybe I should 'discipline' her more but I do like the fact that she's so inquisitive too.

Tonight she waved bye-bye to me when I put her down in her cot and that makes up for all the frustrating times during the day.

I do exactly the same fionas! If its potentially dangerous or similar (as in things could get seriously broken) than I will stop her, move her away with my 'phrase'.....but she too loves emptying the bookshelf...........oh and this morning, she ripped up the whole foam mat we have in the play corner, which is fine by the way - its one of those ABC mats that are supposed to come apart etc, so a functional toy ;) I tend to keep her away from drawers coz while some drawers are ok as to their contents, there are others that would be bad to unload iykwim? so I don't want to confuse her as she can't differentiate between the two concepts of "good drawer, bad drawer" :)

But you're right in saying picking your battles as it were. I think that R&Bmum has it right though in keeping on with the manners & communication barrier (signing) though.......I think that's a really important aspect to eventual sanity for both bubby and parent :)

Thank girls it makes me feel better that i am not alone, i have tried the destraction thing but if its not what he want then he will just throw it or him self on the floor, he is very strong will and when he is older it will be a good thing but at the moment like charlyfrog said its lucky that he is cute.
I was tlking to my sister yesterday and she couldnt get over how much he yelled just while she was on the phone so im guessing that it is a bit excessive, i say no to him and not to scream and try ta and a sign for "more" bit he will still yell.
Any other sugestions would be greatly appreciated
Thanks again.

I know how you feel. My son is the same and he is only 5 months old. He is very inquisitive and alert. If we take anything off him he screams blue murder. When he crawls to something he can't touch and we move him away he screams blue murder. He throws tantrums when he can't get / do what he wants. He hurt himself on his toy the other day, so he picked it up yelled at it, shook it, then threw it. Dh and I don't fight or yell, so I don't know why he does it / where he is learning it or if it is just his nature. I find distraction is the only thing that really works. We have a little bottle of coloured water that we keep for these times, it is a great distraction. He loves it. I hope you can find something that works for you soon. :hug:

My DS started throwing MAJOR tanties at 12months as well. If i had to tell him no (which was a lot of the time because he would always want to play with anything dangerous!) he would absolutely loose it. It got so bad that i seriously considered staying home from mum's group and avoiding taking him to other peoples houses because i knew as soon as i had to stop him doing something or he wanted something he couldn't have he would explode (and i mean really EXPLODE! he could stop crowds with his screaming!) I tried distraction but that only worked sometimes, most of the time the only thing that would work was to take him away from whatever he wanted ( of course i'd explain why i was taking him away and why he couldn't have it but half the time he couldn't hear me anyway because he was screaming so loud) and sadly a lot of the time that meant leaving friends houses, or any social scene (not that i got out much) At the time this was really hard, especially when i'd go to mum's group and all the other bubs were angels and then there was my DS screaming in the corner :doh: because he wanted sometjing he couldn't have. He's also very inquisitive and has always had a thing for trying to figure out how things work so if he's into something that is relatively safe to play with i just let him go. At the time i would just keep reminding myself that its a good thing that he's so inquisitive and 'out spoken' ;) ( but i tell ya some days were very hard especially after what felt like a whole day of tanties) I think a lot of the problem was he was so young and couldn't tell me what he wanted so he'd scream out of frustration.
He's now 2 years old and its taken A WHOLE YEAR but he's now so much more mellow and i can tell him no without a tantrum which is heaven :pray:
Its funny because now the other bubs at my mums group are starting to throw tanties now whereas my little boy has settled down. I'm thinking maybe my DS just started the 'terrible twos' early (fingers crossed it wasn't just the beginning!)
Anyway i guess i can't give you much advice other than to just try and find a positive in the situation- loud now eguals strong willed and determined in adulthood :) Stay firm yet loving, consistent, and find some time to destress!