Removal of parental rights

I know I may seem like a total COW because of this, but I really want my exP to sign off his parental rights, for a few reason.

Firstly, we live in different states and we both know he isn't going to come here to see her, so what's the point? He refuses to pay the huge total of $25 per month child support DD is entitled to and yet she has HIS surname :wall: and of course if I ever want to take her out of the country i'll need his consent.

I heard somewhere that a parent can't sign away their rights in Australia, is that true?

Is there a way I can change her surname without his consent? (Because I know he won't.)

:rolleyes: GUH!

Hun i feel you. All I can say is I Wish. :hug:

I've never heard of it, sorry.

I know it annoys you, but you can register her at school etc under any surname you want. If he doesn't see her - even better. Do you have CSA chasing up the child support?

You never know when the child support will come in handy, he will have to pay it regardless - you dont mess with the tax man. I started getting a decent amount of CS a few years ago out of nowhere.....it gave me the "income" to get me over the line for a home loan!!!

My suggestion is call one of the helplines in the front of the Yellow Pages or go to a solicitor to explore what your options are.

You definitely need to have something set up or at least on record (I read your other post and wow, he was a dud!) to protect both you and DD.

A child cannot change their name without the consent of both parents until they are 18 (or from memory 16 in one state but I forget which).

But they can assume your surname without needing permission. You just start using it as their preferred name. You just have to remember that on official forms you have to use the correct one and for a littler person it can be very confusing as to which name they are supposed to use.

I don't for one moment think that you are being a cow and I know there are a million reasons for not wanting him in your life but you have to think of your daughter for a moment. He is still her father and she has the right to know him and I don't think that it should be you taking that away. If he wants to be a dead beat dad and not care about her in any way then that is something that they are going to have to sort out when she is older but I am not sure that you should be the one pushing him out of her life - it could lead to a lot of resentment later on.

Do you have sort of parenting agreement? If not then I think that this is something that you should get sorted out because he might just surprise you and want more contact. If you get it sorted out when he doesn't care then you get more of what you want.

In relation to CS - is CSA chasing him for it? I would ring them and tell them that you aren't getting it and you really need it.

Also, a lot of people get worried about the whole not leaving the country thing. Were you planning on moving overseas? If you are then you just have to reach an agreement with him in relation to it. A lot of people get upset about it and feel that their rights are being inhibited but to use an analogy if I were to tell you that you couldn't go to the moon you might get upset that I was taking away an option for you but were you really ever wanting to go to the moon? I guess not, so why are you upset about me telling you you cant? The provision is in place to protect parents and children from what can be genuinely dangerous situations but the courts tend to be very sensible about its use in normal day to day affairs.

given what you've posted in the other post, i can see WHY you want to have him sign over his parental rights, but having recently witnessed SIL's brother going through a similar process to try and stop his ex from getting to his children (for reasons that are on par with yours) i can say it's pretty much impossible. the courts will ALWAYS do what is in the best interests of the CHILD - now, for the time being, that might be to keep him away from your DD - but in years to come, he may decide he wants to be around her, and might jump through all the hoops the courts put there so that he can have that right. as much as it isn't what you want, it might be what your daughter wants as an older child/teenager.

what i would suggest, at this stage, contact the Family Relationships Advice Line - they're a referral service set up by the attorney general, and can point you in the right direction to get sound legal advice for YOUR circumstances....

Thanks, ladies. How did I get myself into this situation eh? Deary me.

To be honest, I really want to speak to him about it but he's not interested (I suspect that in a few days he'll be doing the whole calling me crying and begging me to forgive him crap that I fell for so many times before) but I suspect he's going to make everything as difficult for me as possible. I haven't contacted CSA because to be honest, I don't want any more problems with him than I already have.

We don't have a custody arrangement because he's in NSW and i'm in WA, and he isn't going to come back just to see her every now and then (his words not mine). Would it be worth having one anyway?

I'm going to see if I can reason with him in a few weeks when things have calmed down and if not, i'll contact CSA.

I didn't know I could register her at school with my name, I thought they'd ask for a birth cert? Or do they but they let you choose your name has her preferred name? I wonder if I can change her bank account details to have my name?

Thanks again for the help <33

I'm not sure if you can do it but you can organise 100% access in your favour. Someone I worked with did this several years ago. Her ex was in another state and showed no interest in the child. He wouldn't agree to a change in surname though.

Her ex came back into contact with the child when he was at school and saw him for about 1/2 an hour once a month or so, but constantly cancelled at the last minute. The child now wants nothing do do with his biological dad so last I heard there hadn't been any contact for quite some time.