R we crazy for wanting to put back 2?

Hello all,
Just wanted so thoughts from those who have already done this, or thought through the option of transfering 2 embies rather than just one.

DH and I are planning to put back two fresh embies for this stim cycle, and then depending on the outcome put two frozen ones back for subsequent FET, cirumstances permitted. We are doing this for two (or maybe three) reasons - 1. 50% of our embies did not survive the thaw, 2. travel to and from MIVF from home (3.5hrs each way), and 3. my anxiety at not getting anywhere (even though I know it is a 'numbers' game and we are only at the start)....

Our FS is happy with this approach (she was the one who supported it on the basis of reason 3 outlined above) even though I thought that because of our ages (me 31/DH 32) it may not be supported. While the thought of twins scares me - I do have a good DH, excellent leave/part time conditions at work, and a MIL down the road (could be a good or bad thing...), so I do not think it would be a total shambles if it were to happen. What does scare me a bit is the increased risk of death/disability, and the fact that we are in regional (NE) Vic - and while we have access to Wang and Wodonga hospitals, I'm not sure how they (and the obyn's in the area) go with twins.

How have others tackled this problem and weighted up the pros and cons - are we being too greeding and taking too much of a risk?

Any thoughts would be much appreciated - thanks
FG

Farmgirl,

Hi - you know i think you should do what is right for you and DH - you have obviously thought this through - just want to wish you luck with this cycle and i hope to see you annouce a BFP soon. Go with your gut instinct i always say.

Hi Farmgirl,
I think it's a very personal decision whether to put back 2 or one. It sounds like you have a very supportive FS and DH, so that's excellent. I was always advised to put 1 in only, but it was a decision between DH and me to put in 2 for my most recent FET. And I have finally got that BFP that we have been praying for! Whatever happens next, I know I have the support of DH, and I know it'll be worth it. :)
Good luck with your cycle and sending you lots of :stickyvibesgirl:

FG - it sounds like you've thought this through and obviously discussed it with DH/FS at length - and i think your reasoning is very sound. we initially only put one embie back on the fresh cycle - but decided on putting two on subsequent FET's to put two back. for all of the reason you yourself have said (well, we've had good thaw results - but similar other issues).

as to the local hospitals - i would think they're well equipped to deal with multiple births - the only thing you'd have to keep in mind is that you may have to travel to Melbourne if you were to go into pre-term labour (very few regional hospitals are equipped to cope with bubs born before 34 weeks) - but this would be the same with any pregnancy, single or multiple. looking at it realistically, any pregnancy that results, whether singleton or twins, provided your pregnancy is going ok, there is minimal reason to believe you'd go on to birth them THAT prem...

go with what your head and heart are telling you - and if they're at loggerheads, make DH make the decision!!!! :p

I don't think you are being greedy at all.
It is up to you & I really hope you get the outcome you have been waiting for!
Goodluck!
Lots of :stickyvibesgirl:

Hi farmgirl,
I am relatively young too, 32, and was initially recommended by FS to only do 1. With the stats showing younger women have a higher success rate, I think they like to be conservative at the start. I am like you, desperately wanting a BFP and not minding if it results in twins. I have had two FETs, the first with one embie, the second with two, both of which didn't take and in the future I will always go for two. Feels like I am doing more.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

Hi Farmgirl

Well i guess i fell into the relatively young bracket too :) At 23, we had single transfers for our first stim & FET and then the FS recommended 2 embryos per transfer after that. Our next 2 stim cycles we transferred 2 embryos with not even a hint of a BFP and then after a cancelled OHSS cycle we had to use the dodgy embryos (only 4 of the 16 had survived to day 2) in a FET, we put 2 back and we are now 23 weeks pregnant with twins.

My point is that nothing with IVF never seems to work out how it is meant to and it is such a game of luck. It sounds like you and DH and your FS have discussed this properly and whilst a twin pregnancy is not ideal, a double embryo transfer seems to be that next step the FS takes after numerous failed attempts to try and get us pregnant... the elusive goal.

Good luck with whatever you and DH decide but no i dont think it is crazy or greedy, having to use IVF to become parents is not the ideal situation to begin with and definately not what any of us planned or wanted which just makes us want it more and do whatever we can to up our chances of becoming parents.

And whilst my twins arent here yet, not for one second do i regret getting two instead of one. I worry like crazy for their well being but i dont really think thats all that different from a singleton pregnancy.

Sorry for the babble and Good Luck!

Hi
This is the first time I have ever written on one of these things though I have been reading them for a while. We are just starting our third ICSI cycle today and for the first time the Doctor asked us about putting back 2. My hubby was a bit hesitant but now we have decided to just go for it (if we can). I was in england recently and saw an article in the london times saying that the risks of twins (like health problems) are greatly exaggerated because to form the stats, a twin pregnancy is compared to a singleton pregnancy when it really should be compared to two singleton pregnancies. It kind of reassured me because I was worried like you, but now think, it's all a big gamble anyway and at least this way we get 2 shots at it instead of 1. I had a miscarriage in June and a failed icsi cycle in march and also feel well if we have survived everything so far we can survive anything. ..also, the likelihood is that it woldn't be twins anyway.

We wanted to put two back in but weren't allowed to because of my age (I was 28 at the time). I say go for it if that's what you guys want & if you're prepared for the possibility of twins :) One thing to keep in mind though is that most of the time with twins it's recommended you have a c/s (depending on your OB & the hospital). So if you're really passionate about having a vaginal birth, make sure you research your hospital & OB choices to make sure you have someone that will be ok with you have a vaginal birth.

:goodluck2:

Hi Farmgirl,

The others have said enought I just want to add that two other factors might be good for you to consider:

1) your size. I am very pettite (I mean literally.. I only weigh 42 kg). My FS said that being small would pose more risk than if for someone who is tall and bigger.

2) whether you will have a day 5 trasfer or day 3. Day 5 have a higher success rate than day 3 but more chance of monozygotic twin, so there is a chance that one might have triplets with 2 embies transfer. I am having day 5 transfer and my FS insist that I do one embie transfer only.

Kahlan

You do what you want to do. I have been in your situation at age 29 and made the decision to put two back and had twins in 2002. I wouldnt swap my twins for quids. It is soo special- but.... the chances of things going haywire are alot higher.

I am not going to scare you with what can happen- you already know, but you in your hearts of hearts know what it best for you and your family. Keep yourself informed, and know your options. You may have to have a back up plan to birth in the city- but nothing that can be overcomed.

Goodluck with the numbers games- that is what IVF is- take care of yourself and stay strong. If you want to speak to me more about it or know any details- just pm me. I went through MIVF as well.

hugs
odette

Hello everyone,
Thanks so much for your great advice - it means alot to get some balanced, but positive feedback. The closer we get to our pick up and transfer, the more confident I am with our decision, and now I just have to stop myself from getting carried away and obsessed with the thought of having twins!

Thanks everyone :)

Pickles - congrats on the :bfp:, wishing you a great pregnancy!
Baby Dreamtime - good luck with your upcomming BT, sending you lots of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:
Shannon - congrats on the twins - your story has given me a big boost that anything is possible no matter how things look. Wishing you all the very best!
Mek - good luck - I can so understand the stress of where you and your DH are at. I think just making a decision helps. Wishing you all the best on this cycle!
Sarah - you raise a really interesting issue - I have been convinced (up to now) that I wanted to go a vaginal birth as everything else is so 'unnatural' (in my mind anyway), but I guess up here my options are limited, so I'm coming to terms with a c section if we are luck enough to get twins! It's not my prefered option, but I guess I'm trying to focus on the ultimate outcome, happy and healthy babies. I'm sure that when it comes to the point of actually having to make a decision, when/if we become pg, then I may feel differently, but at the moment, not every feeling what it is like to be pg and have our child growing inside me is a far bigger fear and sadness than not having a natural birth.