Co-Sleeping and Safety

Hi Everyone,

My little bundle of joy has just in the last week started sleeping with us.The situation was that we have been for a few weeks now at about 7.30 we are putting him in his bassinet in our room.This had been going well for a few weeks wherby he was sleeping for about the next 3 hours.It usually took a few gos to get him to go asleep but it was great as it meant we could have our dinner etc.Since Thursday last week thats all gone wrong and I have no idea why.I write down every night his sleep pattern and can't see any reason why.Now when we put him down he maybe sleeps for half hour then we go in try and settle him maybe get another hour.Hes never in that deep sleep as he is still moving etc.He also used to sleep in the cot during the day but now every time we put him in he cries.He only sleeps on me or my husband.Sometimes I just need to do things and put him somewhere but its impossible.He does sleep on the couch a bit but thats not ideal as I have to watch him.I tried a sling this morning and he went nuts,I thought at least that I would be able to walk around and do things.

He has never slept at night well maybe 2 hrs at a time but usually from 2/3 am onwards its a disaster.One night I just brought him into our bed and he slept for 4 hours so that was it hes coming in with us.We bought one of those safety rails for the side of the bed and he sleeps on top of the duvet.Hes in a sleeping sack thing so hes warm enough.That night he slept 4 hrs he was in the middle but I really didn't feel relaxed about that in case my husband rolled on him so hes on my side.But now hes not sleeping well with us either!Last night he woke at 2 and pretty much from 2 until 7 he was awake and restless maybe a half hour nap here and there.I changed him at one stage and he went into one of those rages where hes bright red with tears streaming its awful!I also worry about our cat.She had always jumped on our bed to be fed and she kind of walks around him and over him to get to me.Is there any danger in this does anyone know?

I just don't know what to do.I want to keep up the going to bed at 7 etc but its ended up now where I am sitting by the bassinet rocking him for ages and my husband and I end up eating alone.Hes just 9 weeks today.

Hilary

Hi Hilary!

I have two babes and we co-sleep and so I'm not an expert, but thought I'd share some of my opinions...

Firstly the cat thing. Totally understand. We have 2 dogs that were very much our babies and before co-sleeping with the kids, we co-slept with the dogs :P But we just have slowly eased them out of the bed prior to #1's birth and now they mostly choose to sleep in the lounge or on the floor of the bedroom. Cats are different of course, but maybe a baby gate somewhere to limit the cat's access to your bedroom?!!?

Also, in my experience around the age of your babe they start being more of their own person and express their wishes...as much as they can be... and what they usually want is their mum or dad.... like at all times!!!

Do you have a sling or baby carrier?? that will help heaps. an ergo or something that will easily go from infant in the front carry to being able to put the babe on your back once they have head and core muscle strength will be really useful. That way you can have your babe close and happy but still get dinner on or put on a load of washing or go shopping etc

BUt mostly, I think the best advice I got and can give is to just sit down, relax and cuddle your babe as much as possible!! co-sleep and enjoy all those cuddles, snuggles and the closeness. Co-sleeping really does just make life heaps easier for you and its better for your babe.

safety wise, the usual stuff about non smoking, no alcohol, or medications that can make you drowsy.... but that aside, I have a safety rail too and that's about it. I chose not to use a doona anymore but I made some blankets that are just big enough to cover me and dh... and we have one each. the kids are in grobags. just means there isn't lots of blankets flaping about the place to worry about as your babe gets more mobile.
and that's it really.


THe first few months are so full on and you might feel lots of pressure to be doing as much around the house and in life in general, as you did before... but honestly, it's just not worth the stress. Just let your babe sleep in your arms. Don't worry about the housework because in the long run it just won't matter. Honestly. Take turns eating dinner while you and dh eat dinner.... or like I do, eat with the babe on the boob and a tea towel tent over them to make sure I don't drop anything (obviously not with things like soup)

This time lasts such a short time and in a few months time when they are more active and want to sleep, and they are happy to sleep in bed on their own, you will be glad you had these first few months with your babe in arm.

go easy on your self!

Oh and the writing everything down thing....is there like a medical reason for that?? must be really stressful to keep all that up.

Hi.
I sometimes put DS into bed with us, but always on my side & I sleep with my arms around him & sligtly uncomfortable, so I know he's there when I'm asleep.

I think you should lock the cat out of where ever he is. I've heard of cats looking for a warm spot to sleep & snuggling up with a sleeping baby is warm, but not good for baby. You cat could smother him.

At 9 weeks he's still only new & still working things out. He prefers to sleep on your chest where he can smell you & hear your heart beat.

Do you still wrap him? They like to be wrapped pretty firmly so it feels like the womb.
Maybe you could try a baby hammock or swing & see if it helps?
My DS went through a growth spurt at about 10 weeks, so that might be why he's unsettled for now. Hopefully he'll settle down again in a few days.

Good luck & it will get easier. It might not feel like it after a few days without sleep, but it will. :hug::hug: