Need Some Advice Please !!!

I have twins daughters who are 3 1/2 and im having a really hard time with them lately. I work in the afternoons 1-6pm mon, tue & fri, 3-8 wed and 4-9 thur these times have made it very hard for me to establish a routine for my girls. When the twins were born the had a very strict routine thats was great for me they slept through from 3 months and were perfect babys but since theyre now a bit older and i work, their dad works and he also plays football tue & thur nights theyre constantly backwards and forwards i cant establish a routine for them. They have always behaved better when theyve had a routine to stick to. And in the last few months i feel like im losing control a little bit :( .They play up really bad at the shops then at night theyre out of control im ready to pull my hair out... I need a little bit of advice or if anyone else has a set routine for their toddlers id love to hear them not matter what the work hours or commitments i just need a little guidance and would love to hear what other mums do or how they deal with stressful toddlers. Thanx

Hi. Your girls are gorgeous!
Not too much advice on the routine thing - Sorry.
But I am going through the same with my 3 year old. She's just starting to test the boundaries. ie she will throw something on the floor & when told to pick it up will tell me she can't til I threaten a smack on the bum. She'll usually do it before she gets the smack, but not all the time.
& even though she knows she is in trouble she has a smile on her face, or she will look at me while doing something waiting for my reaction.
I think it might just be their age. They are realising they can get a reaction out of you, so they push to see how far they can go.
Maybe routine will make things better for you. I hope so!

Good luck anyway. I know I didn't help, but at least you know your not the only one.

No thankyou so much you did help i know now atleast im not the only mum going through it... i am struggling really bad right now and i have a short temper as they get older and naughtier i seem to snap easier and thats all i feel like i do is tell them off all the time cause theyre so naughty its like they do it to see how far they can go... but im about to rip my hair out...

I feel the same. My 6 year old is doing it too, but my 3 year old only just started.
All I can say is relax & be consistant. The last few days Bri has really be getting to me & I've been very short tempered compared to normal, which I think is making her worse.
Just try to be calm & not yell. It just gets you worked up & stressed if you lose it with them - It won't bother them too much though!
Do you have a naughty spot? Maybe they can have a corner each. But then if they are like mine, they will sneak to each other!
Mine are always worse when we are out. They know I can't put them in the corner or smack them in public. So if we are at say the drs I will make a naughty chair. Or just let them know they are going to the naught spot when you get home & stick to it.
If they want something at the shops say no & even if they kick & scream stick to your guns. My girls have thrown so many tanty's in shopping centres, I just ignore them. If we are walking I keep walking - they won't let me get too far without coming after me. & if we are at the checkout or something I just don't look at them.
It's not easy, but if you give in just once they will think that they can do that every time & get what they want.

Thats what I do.

Yes i have a naughty corner for them both they have a corner each and they havent yet ever moved from that spot when they have been put there so the naught corner works well for me but yeah its hard when im at the shops or something especially with the two of them at the shop on my own ggggrrrr thats when they push me to my point because as you say they know you cant smack them at the shop im too scared to incase someone will make a comment or look at me weird...

I don't really know. I've had my neice & DD2 at the same age for a week & was thanking God at the end I didn't have twins! They get into so much mischeif together.
Do you have harnesses for them? I was planning on having one each for the girls, ribbon if I couldn't buy them, but DH ended up coming home early, so I made him come shopping with me.
DD2 & my neice have a bad habit of running off.

yes i know all about the running off my dd ran off into target the other day luckily i was with my mum who watched the other dd while i ran off to get her...

Aren't kids great!
DD2 got herself lost once & hasn't left my side since.
Maybe give the harnesses a go. At least they can't run away.
Although it might not take too long for them to realise they can tangle you & themselves up! :lol:

Funny you say that i have two harness's and havent used them since the twins were young but in the last 4 weeks have been using them and only last week was at the shops organising an annivesary present and the darling twins realized they could get tangled up and wow they thought it was hilarious and everybody at shop were staring at me i was so embarrased the they thought it was funny to lay on the floor i felt stupid....the things kidss put us through:wall:

its hard when they start to both act up - grrr
sounds like they are getting up to michef as they are ready for more stimulation during the day. My twins did the same thing just before they started kinder, and then just before they started school. They are ready for the next step, education, but its that last six months before it happens that is hard.

It became my objective everyday when they were home, to wear them out physically and mentally as much as possible. Planned activity such as playgroups, gymastics and swimming as well as twin club playgroup was the foundation of their routine every week. These activites became the routine they craved. Also we caught up with a friend at least once a week for a play date (thank god for other multiple mums who understand) we went to fenced parks, and to each others houses as well.
So everyday we left the house and went somewhere! Its hard work, but it does pay off. Kids are happier, they are more tired and content and sleep and act alot nicer!
Are you a member of your local Multiple birth group? The mums there and the activities they plan are great and they offer support and friendship as they are 'in the know'!

Also we introduced and became more strict about actions and consequences at this age. For instance "If you do this... then this will happen" It can be a positive or a negative consequence depending on the situation. It is important however to follow through with your threat. If you make a threat, you have two second to back down, or otherwise you have to follow through. Otherwise it wont work and you end up in a worse situation that you started.

A good one for shopping is "If you are good for mummy, dont wander off and your behviour is acceptable, we can stay a bit longer and get a drink? treat? snack? whatever works. If you are not good, then we go straight home, and you get nothing. They usually only have to miss out once and they it does the trick. If they start to go off a bit, nip it in the bud and remind them what will happen if they continue.

hang in there- they are trying to work out how much they can get away with, and they will be guided by how you react and the consequences that you put in place.

Take care and let us know how you go

odette

What about a reward chart? Are they at the age where they can comprehend the reasoning behind it?

Sorry, I don't have twins or a child at that age so probably no much help.

Thankyou so much odette and courtney im going to start a rewards chart today ill buy some stickers to stick on it... i think my problem i go to the shop every thur cause its the only day i can go and when we go the twins get a happy meal and i also but them something from the shops which has prbably made them thinkthey can act how ever they like at the shop and mummy will still buy thema to toy :wall: silly me. Odette thanx for the info on the the playgroup, park etc i used to take them to kindergym then had to stop because of work but i think i may start up again. because theyre just arent doin enough stuff during they day.